How much time should you spend stimulating your baby?

maggie21

Hiya,

I'm a first time mum and don't really know how long I should spend playing, with my baby each day. I also want to make sure he has time on him own. He is 3 months. Just wondering how long and what everyone else does.

I usually have him in his bouncy seat when I'm doing the washing or making tea and I chat away to him. I try to leave him on a playmat on his own a few times each day and I roughly spend about 10mins 5 or 6 times a day giving one on one interaction, reading a book, singing with him or showing him toys and playing. Does this sound ok?

Look forward to your replies....

ellay864

I don't think it's down to allocating time...babies learn through any interactions and ideally they'll get exposed to all kinds of stimuli through every day activities. Of course doing specific things like reading, playing, singing is important but so is the general 'absorption' of everyday stuff so doing things like talking as you're working or when you're in the car, out shopping etc is also valuable. Some babies are more content on their own and will be happily focussed on one thing for a while, others need more variety. My babies were polar opposites - the eldest was very content, had amazing concentration on things for a very young age, while his younger brother was so much harder work. And they still have those characteristics now at 18 and 15. Do what feels right for you - you can't spend too much time with your baby at all, but don't get hung up on 'rules'. He's very young, enjoy the time with him as much as you can. Ask any mum that's had to go back to work and I doubt you'll find any that's regretted spending too much time with their babies, but plenty later on who wish they'd had more time to spend

xmaslolly76

Sounds about the same as what i do. I think the main thing is just to try and include him in what your doing make all your chores a little game. i have little songs i sing for certain chores or when we are doing his bottles say we will count what we are doing IE: how may bottles there are to wash How many scoops of powder it all helps. I call him my little supervisor. I think i would get lonely now doing the house work on my own :-) x

[Deleted User]

I agree with ellay.., my first was a ten minute baby.., anything he had to do.., he'd be bored after 10 mins, so if i had to do some cleaning up.., and couldn't carry him around with me I'd keep a stack of different textured materials for him to play with and give him them one by one. My younger son was much more able to amuse himself.

But please don't rob yourself of a lot of joy by treating your baby as something u have to educate and stimulate. He's your son.., play with him and enjoy him, rather than educate or stimulate. I don't mean any offense by this. Then u won't be worrying about how often or how long, u'll just be having fun together - there's nothing better. He'll soon let u know when he's had enough of either being on his own or playing with u, I promise you. Babies are very good like that he he!

fernliebee

personally I think at that age the single best thing you can do is to talk to them a lot (which it sounds as if you do.)

I couldn't tell you how often exactly I used to do things with DD, really just as and when she wanted me. As she was BF, I used to sing to her and play little games etc while winding her, as she was a very sicky/ windy baby and it would take a while to do a proper job. She loved to be in her bouncy chair, but never liked her playmat until she could sit up (4 months) I think due to her wind it wasn't really comfy for her. I would also read books to her every evening as part of bedtime routine as they love to hear your voice, especially rhyming ones I found.

All you have said sounds similar to what I did, and for similar times, so IMO sounds fine (or maybe we're both wrong ) I just wonder how I am going to find time to do it all with second bub's? (DD is 22 months, baby due in June)

I think it's natural to be concerned but I tried to appease my new mum guilt by thinking of children that I have worked with who have had basically nothing done with them and can still walk/ talk/ count/ read etc etc. What I'm trying to say is you are doing a great job, try not to worry, bub's will soon be doing all sorts and you will wonder why you ever worried!

ETA: As Ellay say's, daily tasks and jobs we see as a chore are all brand new to little ones so they love to join in what you are doing (like you say you put him in his chair so he can see what you are doing etc) as he gets bigger he will want to 'help' you out too! They can never have too much 'you time' but at the same time they do need to fit in with you to an extent as well, sounds like you have found a nice balance!

ellay864

deannatrois wrote: »

He'll soon let u know when he's had enough of either being on his own or playing with u, I promise you. Babies are very good like that he he!

And they do it even more when they're teenagers :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:I'm not broody again but I really miss that time when I could be with them. It sounds a clich! but believe me it is true it goes so quick so forget rule books, don't get hung up on educating - he will get nursery and school in a few years - enjoy playing with him and that in itself is learning for him. OK...maybe I AM broody again :rotfl::rotfl:

xxvickixx

I carried mine a lot in a wrap sling (mine was a Moby) as he really didn't like to be put down. It was more so I could get things done rather than to stimulate but I like to think it was helpful in that sense too.

Counting_Pennies_2

I would just go about your day to day tasks and little one will take these tasks as interaction, then enjoy sitting and cuddling when you sit down.

Make sure you get time to rest too.

I did the Baby Whisperer routine which was EASY

Eat, feed baby
Activity, I popped baby on play mat, showed him black and white book then coloured books as he grew, sung, baby massage.
Sleep, pop baby down for a sleep
You time, time for me to have a rest, or watch some tv. Catch up on jobs etc.

hth

[Deleted User]

Yes now my younger one is four, I'm missing the baby stuff and in an ideal world would love another. Unfortunately I'm mid 40's and suspect my body's already signing off for to that kindof thing lol. Its ok tho, I'm so grateful for the two I've got.

[Deleted User]

totally agree with ellay 864 post. Babies vary. My three, now grown, were very differnt . 1st born (girl) would push me away when she was a baby. She was and still is very independent. I felt guilty that I did not spend much time with her! Middle one was middling in his demands and the youngest (boy) wanted constant attention and someone to play with and still likes a lot of support.

Talking and engaging his interest in things which you are obviously doing is important. Very soon he will be indicating to you what he wants you to help him with.

Remember too that there is no "right way" to be a mother. It is what works best for you and your baby.

Have fun and enjoy your time together.

Glamazon

I think interaction with other LO's is important to.
My DS has picked up so much from watching other babies his age - after watching another LO on all 4's he suddenly started doing it after a couple of days!

My LO watches me while I do the housework either in his walker/door bouncer/jumperoo or just on the floor.

He definitely lets me know when he's bored of me :rotfl: