hubby with crohns, osteo arthiris, and diabetes..

melie3

hi looking for advice...
my hubby has all the illnesses above, he has just been told after 16 yrs his crohns is active again. i lost my just the day before we found out also....
ive told tax credits of my job loss, so thats increased. im sooo worried for our future now with hubby, that im thinking of selling our house and going into rented accomodation.ive been directed to this board, as they think we might be entitled to some sort of benefits...i lost my job last sunday, and only worked sundays. i am self employed and have my own business, which isnt that profitable to be fair. im looking into what other ways i can sell my products etc, but it requires money usually, marketing and advertising, so a vicious circle....
hubby is working full time, and does have occasions off sick, but im worried he is in a manual job which entails lifting etc, and he isnt that well, but battles on because we have to for sake of mortgage....i really just want out of it, as if we have nothing we have nothing to lose.... but downside to renting is our mortgage is £400 and renting is gonna set us back £900.....id have to use our profit out of our house (around 35k) to pay for the rent and to pay off our other debts we have....

we currently claim child tax credit as weve 3 kids and child benefit

any advice appreciated...

karenx

Does your partner have care and mobility needs? If he does he can try claim DLA.
I wouldnt go about selling your house just yet! Have a look at the shelter website theres info on help if struggling paying your mortgage. Can you get another job to help just now? Even a part time one?

Oldernotwiser

If your business isn't making any money,why not look for a job in case your husband is no longer able to carry on in his job?

If you use the equity out of your house to pay off debts it may be considered to be deprivation of capital and will stop you getting means tested benefits.

Has your husband thought about looking for an easier job and perhaps retraining for something else?

melie3

no hubby is fit and working, and doesnt need my care yet, and hopefully he wont, but if he does have a ileostomy bag, not sure what he will need then. cross that bridge when we come to it. altho we are in debt and have a small arrears balance only £400 quid, i think its more a case of just pulling in our belts. my business takes soo much of my time that i couldnt commit to a part time job (would have to be evenings coz of children etc..) im a cake maker and have lots of weddings booked this yr, so it can work and could be profitable if i stop buying tools i need and just use what ive got etc...
.hubbys been where he is for 19 yrs, and they havent really offered him an easier job, just offered office work, which he is reluctant to do, confidence thing... he has tried for courier jobs which i lighter work, all to no avail, but this has downers because of crohns he needs to be near a toilet at all times to be fair, his job allows that...
my debts are small, and im paying token payments anyway to them, but just thought it would have been a good idea to have no debts... i guess im wrong then.
i really just need to move, but now just fell stuck, we have 3 girls all sharing 1 bedroom, 12, 5 and 3.... not a good situation, i cant extend, and we have divided the wall but its left 1 room 6.5 foot x 5 ft in which she has a loft bed but cant sit up...
moving to a bigger house means a £40k probable increase in or mortgage, but as we are in arrears as it is, the mortgage company wont increase our mortgage quite rightly so....
we've lived here 15 yrs.. i guess we should have moved years ago... is repossession our best option then?

bestpud

I think you are getting way ahead of yourself tbh!

Try and take a calm look at this and plan a sensible way out as I am sure there is one that doesn't involve you having your house repossessed!

You can see what is going wring with your business so make changes - perhaps use money you spend on tools to advertise?

Do you utilise free advertising such as facebook?

As for your oh, could he do a course to help his confidence - would his employer offer any training for him?

An ileostomy in itself won't require input from you and won't prevent him working - my dad drove hgvs and coaches happily with his and coped with service stations etc.

Is the £400 arrears your only debt?

melie3

ok thankyou...

yep i advertise for free on ebay, facebook, and its taken off well considering i only set up in aug. i try to save and buy lots of stuff which i do use, but it is always outlaying with money i get.. ive got some cakes in a party shop advertised so dunno where that might lead... i just need more space and another oven!! lol..

wish 400 quid was our only debt.. nope ive several old credit card debts, which we pay token payments to, others with DCA's and ive had 3 wiped off...so done all i can with these just plodding on....so just really worried if hubby cant work we cant pay mortgage etc... and we need more space and cant borrow more, which is necessary where we live i think.....

Oldernotwiser

As your husband's been offered office work, I'd encourage him to do this, perhaps doing a course first to gain some new skills and build up his confidence.

As he has multiple health conditions it would probably be a good idea for him to move away from manual work, particularly as this seems such an easy possibility

My father had a colostomy bag fitted when he was 80 and managed it by himself, even though he had crippled hands, so I don't see that this need to be too great a consideration.

I wouldn't rush into any major changes at the moment, I'm sure that your husband has enough on his plate without considering moving and you seem to have lots of options.

SuziQ

melie3, I had an ileostomy last year after years of colitis and then cancer-please don't think it is the end of the world or that it stops a high quality of life, as it doesn't. Most people find they are more fit and vibrant than they have been for years, as the disease is insidious and most people don't realise how under the weather they feel until they get rid of the diseased colon/small intestine. Please advise your hubby to come onto this forum when he is ready for more information on this, as it really should be looked upon as a positive not negative thing

http://www.iasupport.org/forum/

the NACC is also an excellent source of info and support

http://www.nacc.org.uk/content/home.asp

I didn't need/didn't qualify for any extra benefits from this surgery, except I qualified for free prescriptions as I had cancer.You are covered under the anti-discriination law against disability with a stoma though which can be helpful when in work. An ileostomy is pretty diffewrent to a colostomy but I have some arthritis and know others withmuch worse arthritis and none of us has had major problems coping with a stoma-I think a positive approach really helps enormously, if it comes to this there are specialist nurses now who prepare you prior to the surgery, plus the IA can arrange for someone to talk to your husband about the practicalities/emotional side who have also been through this (ordinbary people with stomas who have had some training.)There are many newer treatments that your husband may not have tried yet, so he may not even need surgery and may go into remission-fingers crossed for him!