What to wear for mess ball?

adouglasmhor

Off Topic, I remember at a garrison summer ball in Lisburn where I was waiting on one of the WRAC senior NCOs was wearing a beautiful sari. I being a gentleman told her she looked stunning in it. One of my colleagues said to us all afterwards “he liked the WRAC sergeant who was dressed as a Paki”. I like to think mine was the better version.
Though I got pelters from the SNCOs in my team later (Right up to the RSM and RQMS) , according to them it had never been heard of for a junior rank to make a pass at a senior rank at a mess ball ever till I came along apparently. I only gave the lady a compliment

esmf73

Hi, Have been to many of these (married for over 10 years!) and rules are different depending on the mess. I'd advise a wrap to cover your shoulders (just for warmth, as well as for being comfy), I normally use a pashmina type thing. Then for comfort (and for not being too aware of what you're wearing compared to others) I'd go for something long - ankle length. Floaty fabric is fine, just a long dress or skirt. I have bought mine in the past in sales, ebay - all sorts of places.

There might be a theme as it is a summer ball, so you could go in themed costume or not. Definately no trousers, no matter how dressy. But you'll be surprised at what some wear. I've seen one girl wear a dress so tight and short I actually thought she'd forgotten to put on her skirt, or had ripped it!!! LOL.

You'll have a great time - specially on the fairground rides! xx

Bigun28

There is nothing that causes more angst amongst military wives and partners than trying to negotiate your way through the very sensitive dress code ‘minefield’ as to what is and is not acceptable for ladies to wear at a military function in a Sgts’ or an Officers’ Mess. In my time, I have seen everything from a full length, full bodied and hooped ball gown (that wouldn’t have gone amiss on top of a toilet roll) to the range of various Top Shop strapless ‘wide belt’ special glittery tops that 'ladies' have attempted to wear as a dress (and failed miserably), and just about everything in between.

Then you start getting into the intricacies of design and what is acceptable – the long dress that meets the dress length code, but has a full length split up to the hip that reveals all when they sit down. Or the long dress with a low slashed front that looks great, but reveals the all over tan every time they lean forward. Then you have the issues of is the back too low, or the sides too revealing? Is it too see-thru? Does it need to have a fish tail or is mid-calf acceptable? Is it too frilly, too plain, too bold, wrong colour ………..?? Hair up, hair down ………….?? Don't even mention shoes, what underwear, jewellery or if you need a handbag or purse or not!!!! (And guy's are meant to understand all of this???)

Gentlemen will tend to always stand back from trying to make any decision on acceptability, and you will always find that there will be a few ladies at every function who will try to push the boundaries that little bit and perhaps get away with it, much to the annoyance of the other ladies attending who will always complain bitterly to anyone in charge listening. That said, I have been to balls and functions where ladies have been turned away at the door for being dressed inappropriately. Likewise, I have seen occasions where the husband has failed to tell his OH the dress code because it would have meant buying a new dress (resulting in a night on the sofa for some!!).

The normal policy is that the Xmas Draw (normally a black tie affair) will be more formal than the Summer Ball (Mess kit affair). But in either case, the norm is that ladies should be dressed in long gowns (ballerina length at least). It could be a dedicated ball gown, but more often you will also see long evening gowns being worn and being acceptable. Fish tails may look nice, but in a crowd and on the dance floor they can/will get trodden on and damaged. Two piece affairs can be acceptable as long as they are ‘stylish’ and meet the length code, although many tend to opt for a long dress rather than a 2 piece affair. The chest area should be appropriately ‘attired’ (perhaps slight cleavage on show but not everything 'in your face' style ala Jordon), particularly if you are planning to sit down for a meal where it is often appropriate to wear some sort of shawl across the shoulders during the meal. The reason for this is traditional and historical in that when the catering staff either serve you or clear your plates etc they cannot look down (or be tempted to look down) your cleavage etc, thus protecting your modesty and their embarrassment. Often, once the meal has finished, the shawl can be removed later for when you are dancing or enjoying the entertainment.

Other points to remember are that Summer Balls can also involve all sorts of activities, from sitting at a table for a meal to climbing in/out or on/off fairground rides, dancing the night away and all sorts of other fun activities. So you need to bear in mind how ‘revealing’ a dress with a slit or a strapless number may be in a variety of situations if you want to partake.

Above all, either function will be a ‘dressy’ affair and a chance for ladies to glam up and dress up for an evening and have fun with their OH. So enjoy.

13Kent

Other points to remember are that Summer Balls can also involve all sorts of activities, from sitting at a table for a meal to climbing in/out or on/off fairground rides, dancing the night away and all sorts of other fun activities. So you need to bear in mind how ‘revealing’ a dress with a slit or a strapless number may be in a variety of situations if you want to partake.

On that note I have to say that at one summer ball I did see a huge crowd of onlookers around the bucking bronco (mainly male) and astride it was a voluptuous lady who was blissfully unaware in her drunken state that her top was around her waist :eek: - so the above post is a good tip!!

choccyface2006

Thank you all so much for your comments....I have bought this and will get a pashmina to cover my shoulders...

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Sarah xx 7 days and counting! xx

ariba10

As a male, it is the easiest event of all to dress for.

choccyface2006

ariba10 wrote: »

As a male, it is the easiest event of all to dress for.

Yes! How easy have the men got it! Not fair!

choccyface2006

Pashminas all seem to have fringes, won't that look odd?

13Kent

Your dress is lovely! Don't worry too much about your pashmina - you probably won't wear it for long! Have a great time!

Babe1

A beautiful dress - elegant and timeless.

Enjoy your evening - I hope you have a woderful time