disorganised person, need help!!

jasperconran

hi all,

have been posting/lurking for a while, and have now started a diary over on the debt free wannabe board. however, I feel I need some help from you wonderful peeps on this board.

Basically, I work full time now, have 1 child, hubby and 1 dog. My days just fly by and I never seem to get anything done!!!! I admit, I have been burying my head in the sand trying to ignore debt/relationships problems, but I cant do it anymore!!!

I am sick of OH saying that I am a useless housewife. So I think I need more help with stretching food cos I feel I still spend too much on groceries plus I need help in organising my time for housework.

So can anyone of you guys give me some help/useful tips? and perhaps the odd kick up the backside?:rotfl:

seriously tho, I do feel I need some help. OH has threatened to walk out on me and DD so many times, blames me for everything and is always moaning. my life is a living hell, I need to help to bring some much wanted peace and harmony to it!!!!!!!!!!!!

please please someone help me:eek: thanks x

wssla00

Hello Jasper

Hope you are well! Firstly, don't beat yourself up about it! We all have off days and at least you are trying!

I find joining in with the challenges keep me focussed-

Flylady (first time this week, but very good!)
Grocery challenge- very useful to get your budget down

and to make me feel positive about it- 5 OS pleasures of the day!

Baby steps help and before you know if you will be making gloop like the rest of us (although I gave up on that and went back to fairy and arial!)

Come join the warmness of the OS! Welcome!

Pink.

Hi jasperconran,

It's not easy working full time and managing the home but I'm sure the Old Stylers will be more than happy to help. If you take the time to read these threads you should pick up some tips:

Can you do OS and work full time too?

What's your daily routine ...

Housework routine

being organised

Organising Your Week - The Way Granny Used To Do It

But I think the best threads where you will get help in both managing your budget and with organising your home are the Grocery Challenge and the Flylady threads. These are links to the current threads:

April 2010 Grocery Challenge

Weekly Flylady Thread 19th April 2010

If you join either or both of those it really should help you to get into some sort of routine that will make your life easier and while you're at it you will get lots of support from others in the same position.

Pink

PasturesNew

If you're working full-time you're probably out of the house 12 hours/day, five days per week..... point out to your OH that it's not your fault as you're not at home long enough to be blamed. Suggest to him that if he were a proper man you wouldn't have to work and you'd have time to wait on him hand and foot.

He sounds priceless.

gunsandbanjos

I think my first step would be to declutter your lovely OH! However i don't actually know you so you may have reasons to stay.

Planning is the key to success, meal plans and shopping lists cut down spending hugely.

Come join us on flylady, you don't have to post/ keep up with the thread if you dont have time. Just grab the list in the morning and do as much as you have time for. Its amazing what you can manage in a half hour burst. Make sure your lovely OH helps too, if you both work full time there is NO reason he should not do half the house work too.

morganlefay

Well done you for being brave and asking for help...it's a hard thing to do. I have been trying to sort my VERY untidy house for a while now, in between bursts of depression, and I know that some days you can do it and some days you can't. But people on here are very helpful, and I think you've already made a start....well done ! :T

Tish_P

If you both work full time you should be doing equal shares of the housework and household management, so do ensure that any kicks up the backside are equitably distributed. I've seen it recommended that instead of rotas you each have areas of responsibility (eg laundry is his, washing up is hers), so then you don't have to spend time and energy keeping tabs on who's done what.

I can't be much help apart from that, and to say don't be so hard on yourself. There may be some people who can keep a house spotless AND work full time AND bring up children AND stay sane and happy, but I've never met one.

nuttybabe

when i worked full time (before having kids) the house was always a mess as I never had time to clean as i was working or out so I dont know how people with kids who are working full time do it!!!!

Anyway, I found posting on the 5os pleasures every day a great way to feel more positive about things. If you feel more positive you are happier and it rubs off on people around you. I have also been meal planning for a while which helps keeps costs down and i know what i have to do each day. And this week after lurking for some time, I have joined fly lady and have already done todays list.

Maybe your hubby could help out more if you are both working as a housewife doesnt work, she stays at home and looks after the house!!!

jasperconran

wow thank you all for your responses/ideas. Im overwhelmed by your kind words and support. thank you all. I wish that I had found this site years ago, but better late than never I guess! You are all truly wonderful, giving people, and its appreciated.

I will definately check out all the links that you have suggested and I think its about time I joined some of the challenges cos I defo need help with these things. I know that this probably sounds pathetic, but sometimes I feel so overwhelmed by everything and then of course, I get moaned at, so I feel even more overwhelmed!:eek:

thank you again guys for all your help, will let you know how I get on!! x

ellas9602

Hi jasperconran
Your OH sounds a bit cheeky :mad:. What does he do? my OH is responsible for washing up, walking the dog, all odd jobs, gardening etc. I'm responsible for everything else.
I'm happy with this because I love being messy in the kitchen and loathe washing up
I have 3 girls work full time. Do you have any planning time at work? I tend to organise myself by keeping a diary/list and making sure I have a plan for each evening when I get in.
I list things in the order that they need doing and also how long it should take. :osad i know but I do have lots of spare time at work!
So for example tonights list is
1.make beds, vac upstairs, vac stairs (20 mins)
2.tidy & polish living room (10 mins)
3.Sweep kitchen & Hall (10 mins)
4.Vac & mop downstairs (15 mins)
I'll set a timer and will whizz through the above, it may take longer but Mondays tend to be busier because I don't DO housework on a weekend, this is when I cook/plan meals and spend time with the family. As you can see from the timings I also don't do a very thorough job, quick quick quick is my way.
My list also has things to do later in the evening, make packed lunches, sow seeds etc. I cook sunday lunch and usually another meal or two at the same time for later in the week. yesterday I made steak pie which I'll bung in the oven when i get in before starting chores. I'll also plan the next days meals in my diary, they are always something ready made (on a weekend) or dead easy like jackets, oven fish&chips.
We usually have time to sit and watch a film, play wii in the evenings.

My house isn't spotless by any means, but I don't feel stressed or guilty.

Take care & go easy on yourself.:)

mlz1413

It sounds like you need to talk to your OH - seriously.

He really needs to get involved so why not sit and do a time table together?

Try and share things equally so for a 7 day week you should each have 3 evenings where you clean and 3 when you cook and the 7th day is shared - be good if this was Sunday.

This can also work for the bath/bed time and chores like ironing/ getting w/m set up to run with the 7th day being a shared shopping trip.

When you have OH on side then you can sit and work out budgets together - choose the Bank Holiday weekend on 1-3rd May as you will have an extra day together.

Getting OH involved will stop him moaning too - if he has time to moan he has time to go and do whatever it is he is moaning about!