Wednesday "No Mention of Humps Today Honest" Daily Chat 14th April

Buffythedebtslayer

postingalwaysposting wrote: »

BB, very good question! I think everyone has there reason for staying put etc etc but sometimes we all get a bit to comfortable with our lifes. Its easier to stay put, deal with the here and now and think about the future when it arrives...

I don't think it has anything to do with age btw. I am still relitivly young, have a low paid job (one of only two in my life), have very few qualifications, have no savings, have no relationship and very little prospect... However if I had it all in my grasp I wouldn't think twice. The problem is this 'day' you need a secure job, a secure home and an ablity to look somewhat into the future. This means if your income surfice and your home is secure its easy to become complacent. When someone travels and takes 'chance' at jobs there is degree of gambaling and obviously when you are young you take it on the chin and get on with it. But now even if you are young you seem to need to be secure in so many ways.

Take MSE for example you have people on the savings forum that is completing a degree and yet want to save £20k at the same time. On the housing board you have people at only 20 wanting to get a flat etc. None of these could be accomplished if you didn't become stagnant and become happy with what you have just now...

I think everyone wants to change thier lives in one way or another but they just feel they can't. Its all about taking a leap of faith sometimes but its not always easy <---- thats it exactly

And after that essay I shall return to the lurkers couch :rotfl:

That is the difference tho, I have had "it" in my grasp and not taken it, been offered jobs, dates, a flat share and stayed exactly where I am - going round in circles(see diary!) and I do think it is my age. I can't believe I am same person who moved out went to uni and did all sorts of bonkers dangerous things. The me I am today doesn't do that any more she settles - she would never have become a teacher. Its mad.

Can anyone tell I have been doing ALOT of thinking today!

xx

clairewop

scaredy_cat wrote: »

http://www.grabitnow.com/

oohh looks good not a bad price either is it?

scaredy_cat

yeah claire, and handy if you don't have much space.

clairewop

just bought one

ZTD

Burlesque_Babe wrote: »

Philosophical (and largely rhetorical!) question and random post of the day.....why do we settle for what we don't really want in so many areas of our lives? There are so many opportunities out there for change so why don't we do it? It's a big old world however much we now say 'it's a small world' and there could be so much more available which would lead to more happiness......fear of change? fear of failure? Does the fear grow as we get older, thinking back to how easy it was when younger to change things in our lives, job, where we live, who we choose to be with but say now 'I could never do that for x,y or z reason'.

sorry...........random rambling after something I saw a few minutes ago that grabbed me and made me think.....

Back to work....well, pretending to if I'm honest....ignore me...........lol....

In general, as you have more, there is a greater generic fear of "loss". So people with lots in one area in their lives will not take a risk to improve/gain more in another area of their lives, because they are afraid to lose it all. Change itself becomes difficult.

Of course there are exceptions: Some people just stick with misery in their lives because they have come to believe that's what they "deserve". It's a form of flagellation.

Burlesque_Babe

ZTD wrote: »

Of course there are exceptions: Some people just stick with misery in their lives because they have come to believe that's what they "deserve". It's a form of flagellation.

so....what if you know you deserve more in life (all areas) but still feel it is too much of a risk. I agree with Buffy - the bonkers things I did as a student :eek:

Lucifa73

Evening :hello:

I have made complete changes in my life on several occasions - left home to go to uni, moved to Switzerland, came home to go back to uni...

It hasn't always panned out the way I expected but it has always proven interesting.

The way I figure it, if it doesn't work out something else will present itself for another try.

But then circumstances made me self reliant/contrary and I do things sometimes just to flip a bird at the world;)

I am much more settled now though...

Lucifa73

Burlesque_Babe wrote: »

so....what if you know you deserve more in life (all areas) but still feel it is too much of a risk. I agree with Buffy - the bonkers things I did as a student :eek:

what precisely is the risk? the upside of it and the downside?

ZTD

Burlesque_Babe wrote: »

so....what if you know you deserve more in life (all areas) but still feel it is too much of a risk. I agree with Buffy - the bonkers things I did as a student :eek:

That's because the loss and the negative feelings are over emphasised to a degree that suffocates. Take risks; they don't have to be major. But it will help to desensitise the fear of loss.

scaredy_cat

we have already taken a risk with each other, when we have gone on meets....

everyone have a pat on the back!!