Wednesday "No Mention of Humps Today Honest" Daily Chat 14th April

redsquirrel80

elfen wrote: »

BB - we settle as we never think we'd get anything better. We settle as familisrity breeds contempt, and makes us feel worse, so by default, we refuse change or new opportunities in fear or upsetting our own status quo. Those who have had nothing but bad go against this, as they will change to see if something new, exciting, and to the;r eyes "good" happens.

Ahem...I wouldn't ignore you....I just have too much time on my hands.

Well said.. I'd also add that we might not think we deserve better.. so don't try for it in case we fail and confirm this view - if you don't try you don't have to face that.

And do people think this is a good idea...I've moved a ton of my grant and loan money over, and will move a load of my bursary over, so I can make it last....if I've still got some in Sept, I'm going to put it towards the debts so hopefully they'll drop a bit. And when my DLA changes in July (it goes up by about 15) I'll be putting 10 of that raise towards my debts....then I might have 3 paid off by my brithday next year.

Yep as long as you've budgeted enough for normal living/ eating etc etc

redsquirrel80

Would this be related to a certain Facebook post BB?

Butti

Burlesque_Babe wrote: »

Philosophical (and largely rhetorical!) question and random post of the day.....why do we settle for what we don't really want in so many areas of our lives? There are so many opportunities out there for change so why don't we do it?

Back to work....well, pretending to if I'm honest....ignore me...........lol....

God BB you have my sympathy working on your own. I used to work on my own, or even worse, with a guy who was always complaining (says B, who is working in her study on her own!!)

I think it's risk BB. I seem to become more confident yet more risk averse as I get older. Sometimes I feel like I force myself into a situation where I am going to have to take a risk......so I took a fixed term contract which has now come to an end. I would like to work in social housing but to do it I may well have to move, and I think I might have to move to the London area at least in the short term.

Terrifying but good for me I think. I am definately stuck in a rut at the moment.

B

clairewop

your job with the charity sounds great butti

still no builder:mad:

Burlesque_Babe

squizz.............yep....

Butti - it's weird, I work in a small but busy office in the morning but when I change jobs at lunchtime I come upstairs where are a max of 3 of us and often just me. In a way it is nice not to have the huffing and puffing and dramas of downstairs which do my head in, but it can be a bit too quiet really, especially when I'm not overly motivated to be doing anything other than daydreaming!!

I'm being naughty even now by being on MSE, it will be my turn to be picked again at some point to have my useage analysed for the month!!

Burlesque_Babe

Butti wrote: »

I think it's risk BB. I seem to become more confident yet more risk averse as I get older. Sometimes I feel like I force myself into a situation where I am going to have to take a risk.
Terrifying but good for me I think. I am definately stuck in a rut at the moment.

B

sums me up perfectly. When I was younger, moving around (ie as a student) didn't bother me and was exciting and just 'life'. Moving to Poole at 22 when I'd never been to the area before - didn't bat an eyelid about a new job, buying a house etc. Went to Dublin at 29 for a year, didn't think twice about taking the contract on.

Then, strangely got huge amounts of confidence in areas I never used to have after the Cruella episode (bullied at work, became very very ill but walked away with a payoff with the help of the amazing people here) but everything 'big' feels a risk now.

I sometimes think I would like someone or something to just do it for me so I could change various things in my life and I know that's avoiding the responsibility but if it is something I can't change (ie when you are made redundant for example) you have to change and you have to take risks..........

I'm rambling again.............I'll go away before the internet police come running up the stairs :rotfl:

Buffythedebtslayer

Burlesque_Babe wrote: »

Philosophical (and largely rhetorical!) question and random post of the day.....why do we settle for what we don't really want in so many areas of our lives? There are so many opportunities out there for change so why don't we do it? It's a big old world however much we now say 'it's a small world' and there could be so much more available which would lead to more happiness......fear of change? fear of failure? Does the fear grow as we get older, thinking back to how easy it was when younger to change things in our lives, job, where we live, who we choose to be with but say now 'I could never do that for x,y or z reason'.

sorry...........random rambling after something I saw a few minutes ago that grabbed me and made me think.....

Back to work....well, pretending to if I'm honest....ignore me...........lol....

As we get older we get more scared and so take the path of least resistance, the easy way out.

Hi All

Just given my e mail address to a POF guy............................

bank_of_slate

Hello peeps :wave:
...Linda xx

redsquirrel80

Hi Linda

BB - I think you should at least look at it.. you can always pretend you're pretending..

Buffy, what's POF?

scaredy_cat

i think going outside of our 'comfort zone' has a lot to do with just sticking to the same old, same old, iyswim.