Shopping...

Annie_99

Hello Everyone.
I wonder if you can help me. I suffer from dyslexia and dyspraxia and kinda stumble through life that seems a constant struggle..
Dealing with bills and shopping is a total nightmare so last night after being honest with my husband he has offered to only get me to deal with shopping and he will totally manage the rest. This means what money I am given is soley for food and nothing else.

What happens is I get shopping money out of the bank in cash, and within a day or so its all gone. I just seem to spend it and feel a complete failure. Me and cash obviously dont work. So I thought about doing a menu and just shop for that but then thats hard work for me.
Nothing seems to work and if it does it only lasts for a week and im all in a jumble again.
Im not a kid im 41 and been married for 21 years!!

I get so cross and upset with myself that I cant seem to get into a routine and stick to it ( dyspraxic symptoms) and I feel like ending it all or leaving my family so I only have to deal with me.. No one knows how bad this is..
Do I shop daily, weekly, monthly, use cash, card, menu, Ahhhh
Thanks Annie x

GemmaBuckle

Hi Annie,
First of all, (((hug))). This is obviously very difficult for you to cope with, but there are fantastic people around here who will be keen to offer advice.
My OH is VERY dyslexic, so I have an understanding of the difficulties you face with that. I don't know much about dyspraxia but I've just been looking at some of the symptoms online and I can see why you're struggling. Perhaps the best thing would be to do one thing at a time.
Are there some meals that you can always have as backups? For example, we often have pasta bake, which just needs pasta, sauce, and grated cheese to top. These are all things which you could have in your cupboard / fridge for those times when you've run out of grocery money.
Have you had a look at the grocery challenge thread? I'm not sure that joining it "officially" would help as there's lots of menu planning, but there IS a list of meal ideas at the beginning of the thread which might help.
Do you tend to eat the same things each week? If so, and you're happy to continue with this, a weekly shop should work. You'd be able to get the same things each week so could type up a list and just print one out. Perhaps you could quickly jot down your usual meals and start from there.
There's another thread - Weekly mealplans - where other people post what they're planning for the week. Maybe that would help?
Please please post if you want more help - or PM me if you would like.
Please don't beat yourself up over this - I'm one of those awful hyper-organised people and this time last year my OH and I were in an awful mess financially. It's difficult to deal with but you WILL get there.
Gemma

threemuttleys

Hello from a fellow dyslexic ( we are a wonderful breed, dont beat yourself up! ) One of my teachers said to me, that dyslexic people are the nicest people, because they know they are not perfect.
Right...now shopping...Im terrible with it too, really bad at keeping tabs on what I have to spend/not allowed to spend.

Have you thought of doing your main groceries onlines (ambient and frozen) that way, while you are doing it, you can watch the total so far, and remove anything that you really dont need.

Then, maybe take a maximum amount of money (for me, its £20) and then use that for fruit/veg/meat from butchers whatever...if you run out, then you have run out...but at least you have some food and some fresh stuff

Get yourself a little note book, and write down what you need/what you are planning to eat for the week/month to make it easier for you to see where the money needs to go (im quite sad, I get excited at going looking for the cheapest alternatives/freshest apples/local meats)

Good luck sweetie, and big hugs.

Triker

Hiya, I had a quick look and found this as an explanation re your dyspraxia and dyslexia

Dyspraxia Foundation - FAQs

Category: General



Q: What is the overlap between dyspraxia and dyslexia?
There is a lot of overlap between the signs and symptoms of dyspraxia and dyslexia: research suggests that 52% of children with dyslexia have features of dyspraxia (Kaplan 1998). The term dyslexia is used to describe a difficulty learning to read, write and spell. People with dyslexia often have poor organisational skills and may have difficulty with language (spoken and heard) and with maths. Like dyspraxia, the term dyslexia is used to describe a set of symptoms. It is usually identified by educational experts, and help focuses on specialist teaching of reading, writing and spelling.





So its hardly surprising you struggle hun with an organisational feat such as a shopping list, buying it, working out costs and money, never mind processes the writing and numerous 'labels' and 'offers' in store.




I'm not sure if this would help but would online shoppng work for you?


It's a bit complicated to work out initially so maybe your husband could help sit down with you to navigate the shopping page with you.


You could draw up a list together and go from there. I know the Tesco online shopping page has the option to save what you have previously bought.


That way you can get your basics and add in your different foods when you wish to change them weekly, fortnightly or monthly.


You do have to remember to factor in the delivery cost but sometimes there are codes that give you money off or free delivery.




Other than that my other suggestion is to ask a friend or relative to go with you. That way shopping is less of a chore and they can help with what is better value in terms of cost and volume.


Good luck.

GemmaBuckle

Hi - sorry, me again!
I just had a thought - do you have a freezer? If you do, perhaps you could make a few "emergency" ready meals, like soup or bolgnaise sauce, and you could whip them out if you're near the end of the week don't have anything else in.
Gemma

Triker

I don't know if this is any use to you but there is a wealth of evidence that shows that coloured lenses can significantly help people with dyspraxia and dyslexia amongst other things including autism.

My friend on MSE Lil-Me told me about this person, an optician who specialises in treating people with these kind of conditions.

http://www.jordanseyes.com/page2.htm

They're in scotland though but there may be others who could help.

Annie_99

I have though of online shopping and dont think it would be as stressful as the place I am in now!
I really want to succeed in managing my money while my lovely husband sorts the rest of the mess out!!
Im gonna have a look now what to do and maybe just get enough for a week so its not too long for me.
I will let you know how I get on xxx

Annie_99

I tried to do the online shopping and failed, I must have been doing it wrong as if got all messed up and so did I. I think Ill let my 2.5 year old grandson do it, he will work it out!!! Gonna get my hubby to do it with me tonight

Triker

Annie_99 wrote: »

I tried to do the online shopping and failed, I must have been doing it wrong as if got all messed up and so did I. I think Ill let my 2.5 year old grandson do it, he will work it out!!! Gonna get my hubby to do it with me tonight

Annie, don't get disheartened, just wait and try later with some assistance.

You can do this and you'll be fine, just takes some practise hun. x

Annie_99

Triker, your kind words and all the others made me burst into tears. I feel like im on the edge all the time cos I so want to manage my money and my shopping.
Its truly horrible.
Gonna try again tonight ( With help!!!)

passthewine

Annie, stick with it you will get there. The first time I did an internet shop it was a nightmare and I'm not dyslexic.
You are starting from scratch but once you have done your first one it is stored so all your favourites are there when you log back in and you just add them to your basket.

Good luck with it. x