Separation / Divorce

Keith70

Hi all,

My wife has just left me as she feels we no longer want the same things and have changed. She feels we don't bring the best out of each other anymore. I offered to try anything to make it work but she wasn't interested. No real grounds for divorce there but so be it.

She's currently living with her parents and I'm living at our house until it sells; it was put on the market this week.

Also, she hasn't worked in over a year as she quit her job and started full time education of which I paid around 10k for the 12 month course. I'm also paying everything else including mortgage, bills, credit cards and a personal loan of 15k for a car I purchased last year. Trouble is, the car's in her name so she's held on to that for the time being.

We also have shared debt on the credit cards but I'm on a good wage so it won't be a problem clearing anything I'm left with.

Her course finishes in July when she'll be looking for a job but until then I'm having to hold the fort.

Basically I need advice on where I stand with the car and any other good relevant advice regarding the debt etc.

What I don't want to do is end up having to pay all of the debt off while any divorce drags on nor do I want to start saving money now if she can get her hands on it at a later date.

Should I still be supporting her as she left me and is now living with her parents?

What am I best doing with any future earnings; hide it, spend it, save it?

If I pay minimum payments on the credit cards for the time being will all debts be split 50/50?

Will the fact I've paid over 17k in mortgage payments alone over the last 12 months have any bearing? That's before bills etc.

One last thing; her mum seems to be only interested in money regardless of anyone's feelings. My wife was given 10k from her parents as a gift just after we were married to use as a deposit on our first home. The same gift was also given to my wife's brother. Her mother now claims that she lent the 10k to my wife! Pretty obvious what she's doing there but will that be taken into consideration or dismissed?

Thank you

MatyMoo

Keith70 wrote: »

One last thing; her mum seems to be only interested in money regardless of anyone's feelings. My wife was given 10k from her parents as a gift just after we were married to use as a deposit on our first home. The same gift was also given to my wife's brother. Her mother now claims that she lent the 10k to my wife! Pretty obvious what she's doing there but will that be taken into consideration or dismissed?

Thank you

Sorry to hear your predicament.

I would swap the £10k loan for the £10k car!

I think the companies owed the debts will go after whoever can pay but you may want to check this out on the Debt Free Wannabee boards as they are very knowledgeable.

Maybe you can get her half of the debts taken in to account when she gets her share of the property?

neneromanova

Who's name are the debts in? Joint, yours or hers?

MsDee

Hi Keith,

With regard to your savings - is there anyone you really trust implicity like mum/dad or brothers or sisters.

I would be inclined if you do have extra money to pull it out of your account in cash and then give it cash to your family member who can put it in an ISA/regular saving account in their name.

I would do this if I was in your situation to stop my ex partner who has not worked for a year, and whose education you have funded and who has now chosen to leave you to prevent her getting.

Also, book an appt at the Citizen's Advice Bureau and I believe that most solicitors offer a free half an hour of advice.

Debt_Free_Chick

Keith70 wrote: »

Should I still be supporting her as she left me and is now living with her parents?

The fact that she left you is irrelevant - support is needs based. If you have no children, then no - the law doesn't expect you to support her. If you were going through the divorce process just now, the aim would be that you both have a "clean break" and stand on your own two feet. If that means that she has to work to support herself, then so be it.

What am I best doing with any future earnings; hide it, spend it, save it?

It doesn't really matter as you will still have to declare it. When you come to divorce, you effectively swear an affidavit that you have truthfully declared all your assets. So if you hide them, you either have to declare them or lie and run the risk of being found in contempt of Court (as an affidavit is effectively a Court-sworn declaration).

If I pay minimum payments on the credit cards for the time being will all debts be split 50/50?

Probably - all part of the divorce proceedings. They will either be split or one of you takes on the whole amount, in return for an extra slice of divorce-finance pie.

Will the fact I've paid over 17k in mortgage payments alone over the last 12 months have any bearing? That's before bills etc.

As above - all up for negotiation. Arguably, you won't get any "credit" for anything you've paid since she left, though. If you haven't already done so, see if you can switch to interest only as there's little point in you "saving" in the former marital home.

One last thing; her mum seems to be only interested in money regardless of anyone's feelings. My wife was given 10k from her parents as a gift just after we were married to use as a deposit on our first home. The same gift was also given to my wife's brother. Her mother now claims that she lent the 10k to my wife! Pretty obvious what she's doing there but will that be taken into consideration or dismissed?

I don't think it matters either way. A gift to your wife implies that she has £10k worth of equity in the house that belongs to her, rather than to you both jointly. Expect her solicitor to claim this as part of the divorce-finance pie.

caeler

If the debt is in your name then it will be your responsibility. You perhaps could try to agree amicably a different split on proceeds from your house sale (once estate agents, conveyencing fees, etc are discharged) but she will need to agree this and a judge agree (consent order) however if she's not working this may not be easy.

I recommend making a list of all your debt and whose name it is in, where it came from (ie if you've moved it from card to card, person to person) so its all clear in your head. Make sure you have details of the amount, repayment period, apr, etc.

I assume you are also paying 1/2 of the mortgage. I recommend you keep a record of everything you pay since you seperated. It might have been quite right you paid everything whilst your together but its not now. I expect you to pay all of the bills but not the entire mortgage, keep a record and tell her you intend to recover that from the proceeds of the house sale before its split for your shares.

With regard to the 10K gift. I experienced this, not in such a large sum, but suddenly the 'present' needed paying back. Do not ever agree to pay this back out of the house sale prior to the split. They won't be able to prove the sum of money or that it wasn't a gift.

Visit a solicitor, get some advice. Most do a free consultation.

Most importantly decide how you feel about all of this your seperation and potential divorce. Its a dreadful thing and take time for yourself.

Kimitatsu

Hi Keith

Sorry to hear about your situation its never easy when you seperate.

Legally if the debt is in your name and your name only then you are liable for that debt, the companies have no remit to chase your wife for it. However the same applies to the car, if the car was bought on HP in your name then the car belongs to you regardless of what is on the V5 document (technically it belongs to the loan company until the last payment is made but thats by the by)

The debts you need to document as they are all debts which have been accrued within the marriage and so when the divorce goes through all of that will be put into the melting pot and the equity in the house and the savings split accordingly. Whilst you will still be responsible for the debt, she will trade some of her equity for her share of the debt if you see what I mean.

As for her mother claiming it was a £10K "loan" it has no bearing on the situation at all, legally it has no standing as her mother does not have a consumer credit licence and therefore it could be construed as illegal money lending should she wish to pursue that course of action!

When you say you are supporting her? How are you supporting her? If you are living in the property then you need to pay the mortgage and associated bills for the property, but you do not need to pay her living expenses nor car insurance etc etc. You need to inform the local council that your wife has moved out as you will be eligible for a 25% reduction in liability.

I would advise seeking legal advice, you can get all the forms for divorce yourself but this sounds like it may turn messy and for the financial side alone you need legal advice so that you get your fair share. I would not recommend hiding your money as I am sure your wife knows how much money you earn and where your savings are etc and the courts will only hold you in contempt if they think you are messing about, not to mention you will incur higher legal costs and her costs may be awarded against you.

I would suggest that you document all of the debt and equity in the property and see if you can come to an amicable agreement with your wife, as the courts like to see that mediation has been tried even if it has then failed. As well as the savings, inheritence and equity in the property that will come into it if youhave any pension provision that will also be taken into account - however so will your wifes future earning potential so dont get too disheartened!

Good luck