Homeless and helpless?!?!

hermum

If you speak to your council housing advice team they should be able to put you in touch with any deposit bond scheme operating locally.

absent_dad

Hi, new here also but was in a similar situation. I was given all the same advice, contacted council, shelter etc...no use. Council just haven't the resources and you are not a venerable person. When I contacted shelter when I was homeless, they arranged an appointment with me 'week Thursday' at which point they would assess my needs and at most offer me temp accommodation for a week in a hostel.

Of course if this is any good to you great. What I did however, was stay with a mate for a few weeks, this is where friends and family support kicks in, once you are on your own you can claim ib-JSA but more importantly you can apply for a crisis loan, this is your deposit money, you can also get HB and CT. Make sure you ask for enough but I think the max you can apply for first time is £1000.

It is difficult also to find rooms/houses that will accept dss, again I was advised that the council has a list of landlords that would accept dss but when I contacted these people I had no luck, you may have better. I managed to convince an agency that I was a good boy, I know I lied, but they only put down no dss to put people off it isn't the law, sometimes they put you forward to the landlord and if he says yes you’re in. I get upset as some agencies charge hundreds for credit checks and agency fees so hunt out the cheaper ones or trawl the papers newsagents for people privately advertising rooms/flats, they are probably trying to avoid the agency fees so more likely to take you on.

Now it will be tight but this is how I managed it, the fact that I am now homeless again is due to them stopping my payments but hay ho such is life. But you will need to get a job asap as the only person you can rely on is yourself, only you can make this happen, no one else will.

Good luck

terryw

Could you not find some work of any kind, even short-term, purely to obtain the funds to rent a room somewhere to give you a breathing space away from your ex-partner?

mattcanary

None of us oviously know the full details of the OP's situation but Olderwiser, based upon what raininghere has said - the OP is the one that wants to end the relationship, not her partner. Why should he move out if he doesn't want to end the relationship?
Sounds like the OP seems to think that is the case, as she is saying that she will move out anyway. How do you know if he has any money to afford a deposit, either anyway?

Jowo, how can there be domestic violence when he won't force OP to move out? Surely, doing the opposite is more likely to be domestic violence??!! Or don't you believe in one side in a relationship still wanting to make a go of things if at all possible? Would you still be claiming there could be domestic violence if the roles were reversed??!! In effect, raininghere would be making herself homeless if she left of her own accord, with no-where else to move to. It would not be her ex making her homeless. And that is how the council would see it too.

mattcanary

Raininghere, I want to make it clear I'm not having a go at you. But I strongly disagree with what some other posters have said. You possibly seem to be thinking more along my lines, anyway.
Is there any good friends who could help you out? Maybe with a home of their own already?

Also are you by any chance on the housing waiting-list (or housing register, as they are called sometimes) for council or Housing Association housing? If so, maybe you could be found a new home through this route in the near future? Particularly if you have been on the list for a while and you don't restrict your options too much about which area you would be happy to move into.

I moved into a council home this January after being on the waiting-list for about 4.5 years. However, I was not any real housing need (unlike yourself). If you inform the council, that there are two people living in your home (when you have a 1 bedroom house) and that you are not a couple, then that would mean that you would get either a pretty large number of points (if your area uses a points-based system) or be on a higher banding (if a choice-based system) meaning your chances of being housed may be fairly high.
This probably does depend on what area you live in and how high a demand there is for council-housign. However, maybe you could explore this option. I live in Norwich which has got a pretty high demand for housing and I was successful so maybe you would be too?

Good luck for the future, raininghere. I realise it must be a difficult situation for you.

Is there any chance of a reconciliation with your ex, maybe Relate could help? Or is this just not going to happen?

Jowo_2

mattcanary wrote: »

Jowo, how can there be domestic violence when he won't force OP to move out? Surely, doing the opposite is more likely to be domestic violence??!! Or don't you believe in one side in a relationship still wanting to make a go of things if at all possible? Would you still be claiming there could be domestic violence if the roles were reversed??!! In effect, raininghere would be making herself homeless if she left of her own accord, with no-where else to move to. It would not be her ex making her homeless. And that is how the council would see it too.

You have misunderstood my post and I do not appreciate you citing information provided later by the OP that wasn't present at my intitial response to make it look like I regard her as being oppressed by him when I was clearly seeking more information about her circumstances.

I did not assume her ex was some evil battering tyrant. I simply asked the OP for clarification about what she meant by "thing is he will not kick me out!". I also did not assume they were a victim of domestic violence, though I did raise the fact that a victim doesn't need to be physically assaulted to be a victim of domestic abuse.

I asked a simple query to establish the circumstances of the breakup which the OP then clarified in a later post. I wanted to understand whether her ex was frustrating a potential homelessness application on her part as part of controlling behaviour, whether he was actually letting her take her time to find onward accommodation or whether the OP was hoping to be able to make a homelessness application with the council. This was designed to help me and other posters give more accurate advice.

Many people seeking social housing or local council housing advice know that they will not be considered a priority unless they can demonstrate that they will be homeless through no fault of their own. Some know how the system works and manipulate their circumstances so they can leapfrog to the top of the queue, others don't and inadvertently ruin their chances.

Other women posting on this forum ask quite simple questions about their housing rights following a relationship breakdown and gradually reveal that their partner have acted deviously and sabotage them economically.

mattcanary

Your last paragraph says it all - surely it should start "other women and men"??!!!!!!!
Women are just as capable of acting deviously and committing financial sabotage as men - or have you not considered that?

Sorry, if I sound argumentative but this issue really gets my goat.
Women and men should be treated equally and the circumstances should be looked at in isolation, separate from other situations. Women are not always the innocent party and men always the guilty. And sometimes there is really no guilty party. Relationships are so complicated.

raininghere

Please dont argue, i really do value all advice i have been given. I appreciate that i havent gone into all the bones of the situation, but i am a private person and it doesnt come naturally to me to give out too much personal information. And being sensitive subject such as relationship problems, just makes it doubly hard.

I've been on the housing waiting list for 5 years, and to be honest have pretty much given up all hope of ever being given a council property. I am ardently looking for work, in many fields not just the area i am experienced in, and as yet have had the grand total of 1 interview, and the agencies have nothing for me, and if i dont contact them, they will only contact me to 'confirm you are still looking for work'.

My boyfriend is not well off, and would not be able to help finacially, since losing my job, we have used all our savings, without being extravagent, so we literally only just get by on his wage alone.

I feel at the moment, without having the means to support myself, i would hardly be making myself happy or have a better life by leaving. But i feel i'd be using my boyfriend if i stay for convenience. God its just not fair!

I think i am going to have to try and work things through, and see if we can do something to repair the relationship. either road i take, its going to be far from easy. I definitely feel my hands are tied until i get another job.

mattcanary

Fair play to you raininghere, and nothing wrong with not disclosing full details of your private life.

Good luck and I really hope things work out well for you in the end, whatever you decide to do. Sounds to me you are doing all you can. Hopefully he will start doing likewise.

I am out of work at the moment, and understand it is not easy finding work at the moment. Have you considered doing any voluntary work? This might help you take your mind off the situation at home to a degree, you will be helping someone and will also look good on your CV when you apply for jobs in the future.