Divorce using the internet

ocemeer

If anyone has any advice on the above would be greatly appreciated. Do we need to get a 'clean break' consent order?
Sorry not much information given but everyone seems to think i am joking about it so quite painful to talk about

Bossyboots

There are some online divorce companies but I don't know how reliable they are or how much advice you actually get.

For the practical side of the divorce, what to do and all the forms you need are on The Court Service website.

You definitely need a clean break financial order which must include a clause that neither of you can claim against the other in the future. This is not something I would personally trust to an arms length company. Going to a solicitor armed with all the details of who is getting what and asking them to incorporate it into a consent order would be my chosen route. You will be advised that you should have full financial disclosure from your spouse but you can sign a disclaimer saying you have had that advice and have chosen not to take it. You spouse can then be sent a copy of the order to sign and they will be advised that they should seek independent advice. They can choose to take or ignore that advice. The Courts seem to be tightening up on the issue of whether a consent order is fair and asking for an explanation when an order appears on the face of it to favour one party over the other. This is another reason for having it drawn up professionally so that it is correct and covers all the points.

ocemeer

As far as both of us is concerned not really the courts business about how we are splitting things financially and possibly to the outside no split would be seen as fair surel it sould be what both parties agree to. This isnt something I would do lightly hence asking whether or not we need a consent order, sending it through solicitors just seems like a way for someone else to take away andpartition things off how they see fit and not how it would benefit the two of us. Money is not everything and as despite everyone else thoughts there is only the two of us in this and we would like to resolve it with minimum fuss and to do.

Bossyboots

ocemeer wrote:

As far as both of us is concerned not really the courts business about how we are splitting things financially and possibly to the outside no split would be seen as fair surel it sould be what both parties agree to. This isnt something I would do lightly hence asking whether or not we need a consent order, sending it through solicitors just seems like a way for someone else to take away andpartition things off how they see fit and not how it would benefit the two of us. Money is not everything and as despite everyone else thoughts there is only the two of us in this and we would like to resolve it with minimum fuss and to do.

For 99% of cases, the Court will rubber stamp a consent order and all is fine. The concern of the court as to the fairness of a consent order is for the benefit of both parties and it would be exceptional for one not to be signed off but sometimes they just ask for an explanation of why an order is fair. For instance, if one party was to receive, say 75% of the marital assets. On the face of it that would not be a fair split but it might in fact reflect the fact that one party paid all the deposit for the marital home. Once the court know that, they would let it go through. The way round this is to ensure the consent order explains any apparent inequalities but as they have really only just started getting tougher on these, this is a new concept.

You need the consent order. Without it, you would both be open to your ex partner claiming against you in future years. Say for example you won the lottery. Without the consent order with the clause preventing future claims your ex could claim part of that win if they have not remarried. You need it approved by the Court to have legal standing.

You really do not need to get a solicitor embroiled in the details as long as you bear in mind what I have said, but I really would advise you to get a solicitor to draft the document so it is legally correct. They have a duty to advise you to seek full financial disclosure and a duty to advise your partner to seek independent advice. That does not mean you have to do so and you will be asked to sign a disclaimer stating you have received that advice but choose to proceed without full financial disclosure. The solicitor can then get on and draw up the deed very quickly. You can both sign it and it can go off to the court for approval. This "approval" is pretty much a paper exercise and it will go straight through unless it is glaringly obvious it is biased to one party. Unfortunately, there are still vulnerable people out there whose spouses try to take them for a ride and the court has a duty to protect them. This is the only reason they would query an order, they aren't interested in picking apart the nitty gritty unless there is clearly something questionable in it.

Becles

ocemeer wrote:

If anyone has any advice on the above would be greatly appreciated. Do we need to get a 'clean break' consent order?

Yes!

I didn't get one. It was all amicable and nice and friendly when we split, so I didn't think I had any need to get one.

Some time later down the line, I had a property and had benefitted from rising house prices. He lived in rented property and went mad spending money, and got himself into debt problems.

To cover his debts, he got a solicitor to send me a letter to say he wanted some of the equity in my house. However I couldn't raise a loan/mortgage based on my earnings, so I would have had to sell the property to give him the cash. This is mine and my childrens home, and I didn't see why I should have to do that, so I had to get a solicitor of my own to fight it out. We got rid of him by saying that I would claim for half of his inheritance when his wealthy parents die, and that scared him off! I got the consent order drawn up after that.

Although it may seem amicable now, you don't know what is around the corner financial wise. Money makes people greedy and they act differently when they are chasing it. By not getting the order, the spouse could come back at any time in the future and demand a share of your money, which could cause you problems and worry as it did for me.

Our was a simple document, worded so the split was in my favour as our children live with me, and it went through the courts with no problems at all.

ocemeer

Thank you both for your good advice. Feel like an evil witch hurting a very good man so thank you for all the advice.

Jet

Becles wrote:

Yes!

I didn't get one. It was all amicable and nice and friendly when we split, so I didn't think I had any need to get one.

Some time later down the line, I had a property and had benefitted from rising house prices. He lived in rented property and went mad spending money, and got himself into debt problems.

QUOTE]

I'm in a similar position and am just at the beginning of the divorce process. My solicitor has advised me that it's highly unlikely that he would have a claim on me as we split our assets 60/40 in my favour when we separated. As I have our child and he has never paid a penny in maintenance, she has advised that no court would make me sell up to pay him off.

I will be getting the consent order though as I don't fancy him getting a share of my lottery win one day! :rotfl:

Just a thought actually, what happens if he decides not to disclose his assets and income (likely), can the consent order still be drawn up?

Bossyboots

[/QUOTE]


Just a thought actually, what happens if he decides not to disclose his assets and income (likely), can the consent order still be drawn up?[/QUOTE]

It can but the idea of financial disclosure is so that both parties know what the other has and can agree to the division with open eyes. You can however choose to agree that you are not going to have full disclosure and that would then apply equally to both parties. You would have to decide whether you trusted him enough not to have hidden accounts and vice versa. If you strayed off the friendly route, the court can order the disclosure but you really want to avoid that if you possibly can. Anything you might gain by doing that is likely to be eaten up in costs. You will have a judgement call to make on whether to proceed without disclosure or go the whole way and risk spending more than you gain.

Jet

No there defintely wouldn't be anything hidden in bank accounts and if there was, I wouldn't be interested anyway.

Just want to protect myself from him coming to me in the future.

Veedubya

ocemeer wrote:

If anyone has any advice on the above would be greatly appreciated. Do we need to get a 'clean break' consent order?
Sorry not much information given but everyone seems to think i am joking about it so quite painful to talk about

Hi,

I have recently found myself in the same position. I have ordered the DIY Self-Help kit called Separation and Divorce from Amazon and it has got me started on how to get my Divorce underway.

I have found that I will need a consent order to ensure there is a clean break for both parties without any future comebacks. Like you we have been able to agree how everything will be divided up and there are no children involved. What worries me is that this may not be seen to be fair by the courts. However, from the above posts it seems as long as there is an explination it should be OK.

As for consent order itself, there is an example in the self-help pack wich I will have to type out and change to fit my particular circumstances. I can't find any free examples on the net. I see there are a lot of people out to make money though by drafting one up for me. Once I've typed it up I will post it on here just incase anyone else wants to see what it looks like.

Its "nice" to see that I am not the only one struggling through this minefield.

Good luck
V

aimex

sounds like some of you have had a terrible time of it on here. it must be awful trying to do things amicably and then getting stabbed in the back a few years down the line. That is the thing - consent orders must be "right" otherwise they are open to challenge, id say everytime its worth seeking the advice of a solicitor, just to be on the safe side.

good luck to those who are going through divorce at the moment, im sure there will be light at the end of the tunnel soon