Can I find out about a hospital admission?

belfastgirl23

It's worth checking the local newspapers for death notices for the lady - you might be able to go along and pay your last respects either at the wake or at the funeral if it would help you, and I'm sure the family would welcome talking to one of the people who was there when their loved one died. Especially her son, if he was distressed at the time he might be glad to have a chance to say thanks in person.

You are pretty amazing having done so much for her!

nigem

What an incredible thing you did. I need to do learn CPR as part of my job and we are always told that the person is effectively dead anyway, and you will probably make no difference to their outcome in most cases, but just occasionally you can.
You must never feel that you have failed...YOU HAVEN'T.

slightlyconfused1

Just wanted to say how much just trying to help her will have helped her son. He will take great comfort from knowing how much you tried, especially if he was unable to help her himself.

If you are finding itall hard to cope with please go and speak to your GP as I am sure they wll understand how you are feeling and should be able to help.

I think what you did was fantastic.

74jax

nigem wrote: »

What an incredible thing you did. I need to do learn CPR as part of my job and we are always told that the person is effectively dead anyway, and you will probably make no difference to their outcome in most cases, but just occasionally you can.
You must never feel that you have failed...YOU HAVEN'T.

That is what I was told 3 weeks ago with my friend. At the time i thought the paramedics were trying to make me feel better but maybe with you saying that it is true.

A friend has told me that even though I couldn't save her, at least her son won't have any regrets. If the ambulance had arrived and pronounced her dead at the scene he might have been reallt guilty he didn't try or do anything. At least this way he will know she had CPR right up until the ambulance arrived and at that time although they couldn't re-start her heart she did have some signals. I'd have hated him to have to live with the thought he did nothing because he was so overcome, so I'm pleased in a way I was able to, even though unluckily for me it had the same outcome in the end as my dear friend only 3 weeks ago.

Janepig

It may be worth you getting in touch with the paramedics. A friend of mine witnessed her father having a heart attack and had to perform CPR on him whilst her mum was on the phone to the ambulance service until the paramedics came to take over. Unfortunately he died a short while later and she was in an awful state because she felt she should/could have done more. The paramedics were able to reassure her that she had indeed done all she could and there was little anyone could have done. I'm not sure how much it helped at the time because of the shock, but I think it has been able to subsequently put her mind at rest.

Jxx

74jax

Janepig wrote: »

The paramedics were able to reassure her that she had indeed done all she could and there was little anyone could have done. I'm not sure how much it helped at the time because of the shock, but I think it has been able to subsequently put her mind at rest.

Jxx

I have a lot of guilt over my friend, he is my neighbour too and I found him only moments too late. The thing that gets me is that I was in my house next door and just didn't hear him fall, so he was lying there for what we think was about half an hour. The coroner has told us (myself and his partner) that even if we were then when it happened we would have made no difference whatsoever. This did help me and I was coming to terms with it, but them this happened again today and it's just another set back.

i know what I am feeling is nothing in comparrison to the lady's family, but with what happened to my friend only weeks before the timing is so bad and I can't actually believe it happened to me again.

Janepig

74jax wrote: »

I have a lot of guilt over my friend, he is my neighbour too and I found him only moments too late. The thing that gets me is that I was in my house next door and just didn't hear him fall, so he was lying there for what we think was about half an hour. The coroner has told us (myself and his partner) that even if we were then when it happened we would have made no difference whatsoever. This did help me and I was coming to terms with it, but them this happened again today and it's just another set back.

i know what I am feeling is nothing in comparrison to the lady's family, but with what happened to my friend only weeks before the timing is so bad and I can't actually believe it happened to me again.

I suppose it's one thing to hear about the death of a friend/family member, but the shock of seeing it played out in front of you must be awful, and then for it to happen again, albeit to a stranger, so soon after must be terrible for you. I know for my friend, the shock she suffered for a while afterwards was the worst thing. I've lost a parent but it was expected and it was fairly peaceful, although awful for us as a family. I can't imagine what my friend must have gone through to lose her father in such a way and be unable to save him.

It sounds trite, but it is one of those things that will only really get better with time.

Jxx