Can someone advise...

Tiff_2

Hi Everyone.
Sorry for the length of this in advance.I'm feeling my way through the dark in trying to help out my sister who is in crisis in every area. She's had depression & personal problems & was on the point of a breakdown when she accepted my offer to help - or try.
I've done the MSE budget planner and sent off letters to creditors with a letter of authority from her. Most have been fairly positive. At the end of last week she was diagnosed with epilepsy undiagnosed for 20 years!
Natwest is her main creditor - over £4000 - and while they've agreed to hold the charges as I've requested, they won't stop the interest on the amount.
My sister is now on £59.20 Incapacity a week (£1.93 too much to go on Income Support) & has no other income. She's getting housing & tax benefit too. I'd like to know if there's any way we can stop the interest charges continuing please? They know what she's on and that she's had to leave work 21 weeks ago. I've sent off for her DLA pack and made her a home visit appt with DIAL, checked her benefits etc
She's in debt with everything. The stress is making her health worse & I'm trying my best. I've just become severely disabled, our dad died at Christmas and our mum is terminally ill. I'm struggling to cope with her problems and I've got health problems to deal with. As well as the severe physical ones, I was held hostage & got Post Traumatic S. D. as well as agoraphobia I'm ashamed to say, though I am working on overcoming these. She can't get to CAB due to epilepsy and is too depressed to talk to anyone regarding debts.
I don't want to let her down by my ignorance. Any ideas would be appreciated. Thank you

astonsmummy

Hiya,

There is hope! phone the debt adviceline - i did yesterday and they were really helpful. 08088084000
www.nationaldebtline.co.uk

If you have a look at this thread it will tell you what they told me i could do as i'm on benefits -

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=237217

Please dont worry, there is lots of help out there, and i'm sure there are lots of other people on this site who can help more - hope this helps hun xx

beanielou

Hiya
I think you are doing great trying to sort it all out for your sister despite your own problems.Are you seeing a health proffessional re your PTSD?

dancingfairy

Hi. Just wanted to say hi. You sound like you're really having a tough time of it right now. Is she on the internet. Perhaps she could pop in here and see how positive everyone is and if she posts an SOA (statement of affairs) with her incomes and outgoings perhaps we can help save her some money. There is a thread that tells you how to do it I'm just not sure where it is. Perhaps someone else can tell you. Also perhaps she could check out the grocery challenge board about cheap meals etc.

Also have you tried any local support groups for either of you? my local Mind has loads of info about support groups- also try library, council etc.

Good Luck

Tiff_2

Thanks beanielou.Yes hun, I am. Am at the point where I've able to go out shopping with someone to AsdaLand. It's like going on holiday for me - except on a Friday when it gets like the Middle East!
As you can see I'm a newbie to this forum so probably shouldn't have been posting advice - I just thought it would be a great way to learn & also to pass on the bits and pieces I do know about.

Tiff_2

Thanks astonsmummy - that will be my next port of call I appreciate your time & advice

Glitterari

Tiff - are you receiving any help or services yourself from social services?

Be careful not to burn yourself out hun - it is admirable what you're doing for your sis. I've recently had to take control of my Mum's finances.

Tiff_2

Thanks dancing fairy. She was on a bundle package with ntl of phone, tv & broadband & lost the lot, even though she was in touch with them. That's why I'm a little bit wary of these all-in-one deals because when something unexpected happens in life, which it can , and you can't continue the payments, you lose the lot. I think she's still trying to handle the seizures which are now happening regularly & the shock that she's got epilepsy too - especially after a doctor's been telling her it was just panic attacks for 20 years!
I really appreciate everyone's kindness - thank you all.

Tiff_2

Hi Glitterari. Bless you - no Social Services aren't involved with me. I've been fighting a year to get my own DLA increased to highest levels care & mobility which I've just heard they've granted & they will backdate to Aug 2005. They kept refusing me - very frustrating especially as they hadn't even contacted my GP at all. I think Victor Meldrew said it best "I don't believe it!"
Social Services did send an OT round but as I've already got the aids in the house & because a stairlift or ramp can't be fitted basically she said "Move house" & that was it. I'm with Orbit Housing who are amazing - they transformed my bathroom into a wet room bless them - but they've got nowhere. I've just got to be strong & help my sister.I'm tempted to pay little bit of her debts with my backdated benefit of couple thousand buy it would only dent her debts & I've got a 16 year old son due to start College & want to keep it for him- his Dad no help as we left him due to domestic violence. Don't know what to do. Feel bad having this money coming & my sister in this mess - & I'm not debt free either. PRIMAL SCREAM!!!

Glitterari

I understand how you feel about wanting to help, but resist the urge to help her out financially - you can't afford to do that because you have your own debts and it's very common that people who have had help in that way don't 'learn'.

I'lll PM you about applying for DLA - I worked in physical disabilities social services team last year. Oh and OT will say that if it is impractical to fit a stair lift or whatever, say if there is not enough space.



xx

Tiff_2

Hi Glitterati,
That's right, there isn't enough room & I've got a dog-leg staircase that goes back on itself over 3 levels & not enough room for thru the floor. To be honest, as much as I love this house I am leaning towards findind a bungalow wishfully or if I have to a ground floor flat as I'm worried about fire risks etc in the future & only want to move once more. You've been an angel - thank you for your commom sense and good advice. x