Struggling to cope. Need to tell someone!

code-a-holic

I need a vent!

I have been disabled for 5 years after a car accident 7 years ago has caused areas of my body to get slowly more and more painful and limited mobility. After 6 years of begging for a xray on my right shoulder i finally got a consultant who believed me and gave me an xray and showed i have shoulder impingment. I then had a MRI scan within 2 weeks and i have been booked in to have my shoulder shaved down to make a new joint.
So i know something will happen soon, but im in agony. Im struggling to arch my back, my hips are grating and my knees have started to sting. Im 25 and a mother to 4, my youngest is 10 months old. Im generally a tough cookie, i dont think many people i know have any idea about my condition. I prefer people didnt know - but then im probably pushing myself to do more than i should. I also have a huge issue with being accused of being a DLA fraud!!! It terrifies me. I am sure im entitled to it, i need a lot of personal care and im in constant pain, but to someone that didnt know me im sure they would think im a con. I do occasionaly go to tesco and get a full trolley with a baby in tow, or go for a walk with the children, if i didnt id also fail as a mother. People seeing me out wouldnt know that i get back to the car and cry in pain for the journey home and then hobble until my hip decides to click back in to position. Does anyone else ever feel like they dont deserve DLA or that they dont look like they need it?
I once, for a short time used to find myself turning on the oven in order to burn myself before going out so that i had a distraction from my pain. Better to feel a different pain for something visable i felt. It didnt last long, but im thinking about that more and worried I might get tempted to start again.
My husband is very supportive, but i just dont want to worry him, he already works so hard to do all he can for me. I see a chiropractor every 4 weeks, and this has improved my mobility for the last year. Im thinking about changing gp, my current one has known me since i was born and i dont feel she takes me seriously.

lolababy

Hi my oh is a chronic pain sufferer and like you has tried to distract himself from the pain he is in. Going on a pain managment course at our local hospital helped.
It may be worth asking your gp about morphine patches to control the pain. My partner has found them to be a god send.

jewelly

Please try not to worry what other people will think if you apply for DLA. Nobody needs to know and they shouldn't judge you anyway. Get the CAB to help you fill in the claim as it is a daunting form. I hope you get what you deserve.