Can you uninvite a guest?

Jilly5

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neneromanova

I think you just write a nice letter saying that after all of the invites have been recieved back that there are too many people and just the girl is invited. To be honest, the fact that the girl was standing up for her husband and told someone to talk the lady home and give her a slap, i'd say both of them couldn't go.

MyRubyRed

Unless she comes to work tomorrow with a grovelling apology to all, from her and her disgusting OH I would not let either of them attend. Your wedding is your day and you don't need prats like that potentiallly spoiling your day.

deborahmcgeachy

Yeah id go wiv the to many people excuse and just let her know you have to stick to the legal requirement of the venue!!! What a horrible horrible situation to b in!!!!

tabskitten

I'd say that for the sake of your other guests he must NOT be invited. And from what you have said it seems that his wife is no great loss of friendship to you so I would really not fret about it!

If she was at all embarrassed by him she will decline anyway. But to make sure I would politely inform her that you can no longer ask those who have not yet replied to bring guests as all the extra spaces have been taken.

Jilly5

Thanks tabskitten - you are so right!! He would definately upset my other guests, it was awful last night, people didn't know where to put themselves - including me!! I would do that about saying too many guests but i've given til mid april to RSVP and still have some to send out. Its gonna just have to be the truth unfortunately!!

Wish me luck!

J x

tabskitten

Good luck!!
Let us know if we need to ''send the boys 'round''!!

beks

Sounds awful Jilly. I think you are within your rights to uninvite someone like this, it would only cause stress and upset to other guests, particularly your friend who he accosted.
tabskittens idea is good but personally I would go down the honesty route and tell the wife that you are disgusted at his behaviour and because of your friendship with your other friend, you are not willing to have him at your wedding day. She wont be happy but then her husbands behaviour is unacceptable and no way can he come to your wedding.

Good luck today, I dont think it will be easy but stay strong and stick to your guns.

Curious_George_2

i think you may have to tell the truth here, as awful as it will be surely its preferable to having this letch you barely know and already dont like smarming over all your guests and generally ruining the day... the last thing you want is when people talk about your wedding in years to come to say "it was lovely... except for that horrible bloke"

maybe you could put it all in a well thought out letter, that way you will get your message across without getting flustered or saying what you think she wants to hear out of embarrassment... i know its the wuss way out but i think thats the way i would do it... we arent talking about you univiting a best friend here (who deserves a face to face chat)... plus with a letter you dont bear the brunt of her initial anger at being told her husband is an unpopular octopus...
or of course you could sit the wife down and say something like "look... this is a bit embarrassing but i have a bit of a problem with my wedding invites, basically your husband made a few of my friends really uncomfortable the other night and im afraid some of them wont come or wont enjoy themselves if there is a repeat performance... sorry but i barely know the 2 of you and only invited you out of politeness but they are good friends of mine and its important for me for them to be there"

i wouldnt expect to be friends with her after you have had this conversation though...

floss2

Curious_George wrote: »

.....or of course you could sit the wife down and say something like "look... this is a bit embarrassing but i have a bit of a problem with my wedding invites, basically your husband made a few of my friends really uncomfortable the other night and im afraid some of them wont come or wont enjoy themselves if there is a repeat performance... sorry but i barely know the 2 of you and only invited you out of politeness but they are good friends of mine and its important for me for them to be there"...

I think this is the best way - honest, factual and it may even prompt her to take a fresh look at her own complicity in his behaviour.

laura2481

I sympathise with your situation Jilly as I have a colleague at work I want to invite but NOT her partner as he is an absolute **** (insert insult of your choice there, any and all would apply) but I am inviting other colleagues partners as they are all lovely so it would look really obvious. At the moment they have broken up (because he cheated on her, again, what a treasure he is) so I am hoping for her sake and mine that they don't get back together

As to solving your dilemma- I would go with the more tactful- we don't have the numbers to invite OH just to ensure the peace is kept at work as I would hate a bad atmosphere. But TBH her behaviour was pretty bad too so I would consider uninviting both...

Good luck!