i dont knoiw which way to go very messy

kickingkay

lou_lou_skinty_poos wrote:

big hugs to you i can tell your in a bad place right now but the last statement you made was spot on you have a right to be happy and i cant imagine your kids want to see their mum shouted at and pushed around so maybe leaving is the best for them and you leave the house just get out if you have to make yourself bankrupt its over in a year as a last resort. i think ther worst thing about the debt we all have is that it restricts our lives and keeps us in places or relationships we dont want to be in thats the real cruelty of debt. look after yourself and let us know how your getting on

thankyou for that only my concern is i gambled and i dont think i can i can go bancrupt because of that however it could b e part of the reason for my gambling and therefore might be considered but the other thing is im a CPC licence holder ofr my dads firm and transport manager and the problem is if i go bancrupt then it would cause huge problems for them unless anyone knows different
i dont want to put them in a difficult posistion this is his livley hood and if he had to employ another transport manager it might force them to lose the business,
anyone know how much for an iva if i didnt have the house (sign it over to him) and i was then single with 3 kids debt around 44k?
cheers

Emmzi

kk, wondergirl can advise better, but I think you need surplus income of £150per month, from memory.

lynsayjane

sweetie i think everyone on here is damn right, you need out of this destructive relationship, you are strong enough to do it, he is just trying to convince you your not.

i wouldnt worry about the kids in it though, i'm a child of divorce and yes when i was wee i did have a hard time of not seeing my dad, but when i grew up and was able to think on it with an objective mind i decided it had been for the best. i now have a mum who has a good partner and is happy and a dad who has the chance to be happy (long story). i see friends who stay together for the kids and they fight in front of the kids and surely thats got to be more destructive for them than having two happy seperate parents.

i'd get in touch with cab and sort out your rights to take the kids away, i wouldnt want there dad to turn around and try and take them back. i'd also start organising my finances applying for benefits etc in so far as you can before you actually leave, the better prepared you are when you make this leap the better your chance of success.

good luck darling, we all deserve to be happy and i hope you finds yours x

Kevicho

Having read your post your fella sounds like a complete d***

Yours and your families saftey is more important than money or anything else for that matter.

I think you should ditch this chump and take him to the cleaners for his false allegations and his abuse

Best of luck

JAMIEDODGER

you have to leave. get out asap. men like that do not change. ever. your children are hearing and seeing this and it is totally destructive for them. have you family you could got to? i would say dont prepare first, just leave now, worry about everything else later, your safety comes first and you dont know what will happen next time he loses his temper.
i have been where you are now. i stayed, it got worse, much worse. leaving when i did probably saved my life, literally.
when you are out of there then you can deal with all the other stuff, im sure you will get loads of help here on dfw. call CAB and contact womens services.

nearly 4 years on from my hell, i have a nice home and four happy kids.....i wouldnt like to think what our lives would have been like if id stayed.

beanielou

Think you know this yourself but its time to move on
Contact CAb and Womans aid for help & support
Someone who knows about the specialised q's on bankrupcy will be along soon
Sorry not sure what a CPC holder is?
Take care
Huggles

kickingkay

beanielou wrote:

Think you know this yourself but its time to move on
Contact CAb and Womans aid for help & support
Someone who knows about the specialised q's on bankrupcy will be along soon
Sorry not sure what a CPC holder is?
Take care
Huggles

its a governmental title given to a holder of an OPERATORS LICENCE which is needed for hire and reward in the lorry business

Janey51

You poor thing to be caught in the middle of this.
At the moment your brain must be working overtime. You are like a frightened animal backed into a corner and fighting for her babies.
But you really do have it in you to survive this. Your kids obviously love you and whatever you decide is best for you will be best for them. Your husband is a bully. He is using your children against you. Bullies attack people with what they know will hurt them most and for a Mum, thats their children.
I'm not an expert, but I can't see that any authority in this country would want to place children with an abusive, violent person.
I don't know how old your older 2 kids are, but if they are at school, its holiday time...so couldn't you go visit friends in Somerset for a while? Give you both a bit of space and let him realise what he is doing?
He sounds like a waste of space but only you know if its truly the end of your relationship...it doesn't matter what other people think.
But remember, you are wonderful:A and don't let him try to make you believe anything else.

kickingkay

ive been to my friends house and feel so much better than i did this morning
thankyou will update tomorrow cant really chat now xxx