How can you check that an executor is being honest?

Greenlight77

My MIL died suddenly in December last year. She was a widow and told my DH a few years ago that she had made a will where she was splitting everything 3 ways between him, his sister and brother with specific sums also to be given to the respective grandchildren. As my DH was then serving overseas and his brother was living some way away and is disabled she said that she was making DH’s sister the sole executor which seemed fair enough at the time. We don’t know which solicitor drew up the will.

We always got on well with MIL and had no reason to believe that she changed the will. Our relationship with DH’s sister has become very difficult though. She mutually separated from her husband a year or so ago. My DH always got on well with her husband and we continued to see him after the split and met up with his new GF as well. His sister found out and went mad –saying DH was a traitor to the family etc and we shouldn’t see her ex. She’s always had a bit of a temper and can be quite difficult. DH refused saying it was none of her business. They didn’t speak for a while but then patched things up with the shock of their mum dying.

DH offered to help her sort out all their mum’s papers etc but his sister has refused saying it was her responsibility. We’ve been over a couple of times though to MIL’s house to tidy it up before it is put up for sale. Last time we noticed that most of her valuable items weren’t there. DH asked his sis where they were and she said she was keeping them safe whilst the house is on the market. DH asked if he could take his share including some of the Royal Doulton animals which MIL collected (many of which we gave her as pressies and which our kids loved) but sis refused. They argued and sis then dropped the bombshell that MIL had changed her will after she and her husband separated and left her the house and contents in full with DH and his brother only getting a share of her savings on the basis that sis needed the money more. DH asked to see the new will but she refused and has since refused to talk to either him or his brother. We don’t believe that MIL changed her will –she was upset that they broke up but told us she thought the sister was more to blame.

I know that once probate is granted we can obtain a copy of the will and then put in claims for our fair share if need be but we’re worried that this could be too late. In the meantime we don’t trust his sis to carry out her role as executor fairly. We’re worried for instance that she won’t declare all the assets and think that she may sell some of the house contents to raise some cash which she would then keep for herself. DH is really upset about it all. If need be we’ll go to a solicitor but we know if we do this there’s a good chance that our relationship with the sis would break down completely and DH wants to avoid that if possible. Has anyone got any suggestions otherwise? Thanks

Bufger

doesnt sound like there is any way to salvage the relationship unless she is telling the truth? Still i wouldnt be taking her word for it, a statement like that would be followed with facts if it were true (ie she'd be willing to show you the paperwork to that effect).

Sounds like shes lying and you'll have to take her to court. I would get your husband to speak to his brother about it too and make sure you stay out of it completely (except to help your husband through the ordeal).

sp1987

This could be read two ways. In a role as executor I would probably remove any very expensive items and put them into safe storage e.g. at my property in case of burglary, where they would be insured, if not sufficiently at the MIL's property. But it is also a great way of wording how you are removing things you want if you are not honest.

The only bit I will say is;

''If need be we’ll go to a solicitor but we know if we do this there’s a good chance that our relationship with the sis would break down completely and DH wants to avoid that if possible.''

In my opinion...and with all due respect, you are already at that stage. You do not trust that probate will not come ''too late'' to uncover the truth if she is creaming off expensive items.

If the sister is not speaking to either of the brothers, do you know for sure if the will has been submitted to probate? People do some funny things over money. If this is a fraud, it is a pretty dopey one ''I'm getting it all, well bar a little bit''.

Personally, I would have a think about where my mum may have gone to write her will (i.e., did she use a local solicitors like most people or did she go to a large nearby town to do her business). Older people tend to stick with the same firm for all of their life where possible. As you (well, your OH) is a beneficiary they will show you the will, if you can find it. Have a ring round. Then take what you find (if at all) to a solicitor. It may save you a bit of money doing a little snooping yourself first.

Most people also leave a copy of the will in the house. The sister may have taken that copy, but you can't be certain of that. Maybe have a look if the opportunity arises?

My main suspicion arises surrounding the fact you have not been shown the will. An honest person will often let you see the will or a copy of it, if only to pacify you.

SailorSam

I wonder if you went to the court where probate will be issued and expressed your concerns would they look into in more detail before passing it.

floss2

Hoepfully the MSE'ers more experienced in Probate will be along soon to advise you - however, initially I would ring the local probate office and ask their advice.

This may help: Probate Service

RAS

I suggest you read this thread as it has a lot of the links and advice you need

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=2251119

It also links through to another thread, although in that one the OP's spouse is the executor having problems.

Also this thread http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=1972219

Errata

If the sister - the executor - has put the house on the market it may indicate that probate has been granted and a copy of the will can easily be obtained.

Greenlight77

Thanks for all your replies and suggestions.

The house isn't on the market yet so we're not sure if the will has been proved. It's been 3 months now since she died and I thought probate often took longer than that but her finances were all quite straightforward as far as we are aware so maybe it has gone through. We'll check and see.

DH did look for a copy of the will last time he was in the house but couldn't find one, sis had probably taken it already. MIL moved after her husband died and I think she used a solicitor where she's living now to draw up her will. If the will hasn't been proved yet DH can ring round to see if we can find out whose dealing with it and/or contact the probate office.

He's still hoping that she's just calling his bluff and it will all be resolved amicably but at least if we can find out what the will says sooner rather than later we take it from there.

Dillence

Probate can go through very quickly. It only took 8 weeks to get it after my mother died. Also you do not need probate to put the house on the market and I just put my mums on without any consent needed from my brother who is also a beneficiary/executor.

I would definately ring around solicitors and find the will asap.

*Louise*

Ring the solicitors - let us know how you get on

Some people can get so funny when it comes to an inheritance. Unfortunately if your SIL has decided to mess about then the relationship is already on shaky ground due to her own doing.

It speaks volumes that she won't even let you see a copy of the will.

floss2

*Louise* wrote: »

...Some people can get so funny when it comes to an inheritance. Unfortunately if your SIL has decided to mess about then the relationship is already on shaky ground due to her own doing.

It speaks volumes that she won't even let you see a copy of the will.

Our mum got round this issue by giving each of the 4 children a copy in an envelope that said "xxx's copy of mum's will".....then we all knew what she had wanted & who was getting what keepsake before the rest was added together and divvied up between us.