is this a witch hunt at work or am I being paranoid?

gitw

several of my team have sent me emails 'singing my praises' as it were and have specifically said in the emails that they will happily be intereviewed and I can show the emails to HR so hopefully they will back me but I understand if they didnt want to get involved ultimately because they have their own jobs to worry about and at the end of the day work colleagues come and go.

I'm no longer confiding as getting paranoid about who is talking (I did consider myself and person 2&3 to be friendly and certainly they act no differently to me - well actually I don't go out to lunch or drinks with them anymore - but I dont drink alcohol so they don't ask me anymore which I dont have a problem with but now in hindsight...)

am i right to discuss it more with HR ? I feel happy to but am worried that they will think I'm being silly by tittle tattling saying 'well he said that she said....'

Gingernutmeg wrote: »

It sounds to me like Person 1 is bullying you, or trying to, and she's whipping up support from 2 and 3. However, I'd be a little bit wary of confiding in other people at work - there's always the risk that the things you say are then taken out of context and it's twisted to look like you're the one causing trouble. I'd also be careful of rocking any boat too much unless you're absolutely sure that people will support you when it comes to making formal complaints. People have a habit of promising all kinds of support but melting away if there's even a whisper that their own record might be tarnished.

Hard though it is, I think you need to keep your head down, and for the time being keep a record of anything that goes off, no matter how trivial. Facebook printouts would be very helpful, if you can get hold of them. Sometimes in these cases it's a case of giving someone enough rope and letting them hang themselves, if you can deal with it. Bullies have a habit of doing this if they think they can get away with it. I would make HR aware that you're not at all happy with what's gone off though.

gitw

i know!! and the person who sent the message to my team member lives on the otherside of the world and I've never spoken, let alone met them. glad that my life is obviously cause for some excitement in their dull lives though!!

pc always locked when away (work in asset man co so standard procedures) have also changed all access passwords (as previously given to PA's 2&3 for email access when on holiday), and changed security settings for who has access to diary, email - NO-ONE!

eamon wrote: »

The dangerous world of Facebook & gossip. One tip when away from you desk for any length of time lock down your PC to prevent unauthorised use.

gitw

another reason for my paranoia that i should mention:

last year my boss (works away lots) pulled me to one side and told me to watch out because someone had reported me to HR as they thought I was taking unauthorised days off. was someone in my team and my boss didnt know who as hr wouldnt tell him but he was worried that they had bypassed him (he is CIO). The fact was though that I had'nt skived - my boss was aware i was off it just happened he had been travelling for 2 weeks and hadnt been able to sign into the hr system to click approved.

after this, and not being from a corporate background until I started this job i couldnt udnestand why soeone would do that until hr pointed out that even as a pa my job was desirable to others as i work for someone very senior....

thats it for now

Gingernutmeg

gitw wrote: »

am i right to discuss it more with HR ? I feel happy to but am worried that they will think I'm being silly by tittle tattling saying 'well he said that she said....'

I don't think you need to say in that way - best to avoid getting into the 'he said, she said' as it always ends up sounding petty. But, you can say to HR that you are unhappy with the situation and that you feel you are being unfairly victimised, noting the situation with the leave and the more recent case as evidence. Hopefully this will get back to 1,2 and 3 and if they've any sense they'll realise that they left the playground years ago. If they haven't, then if it escalates that will give you the evidence you need to raise a formal grievance (although I appreciate that wouldn't be at all pleasant for you).

Decyfa

epatolles wrote: »

from personal experience I find being really nice to people who don't like you actually kills them inside so it's definately worth doing.

That is good advice.. The way to get back at rude people is to overkill it with nice. It really dos !!!! them off to no end!

Emmzi

ask HR lady for an informal chat for guidance. tell her you'd like to avoid an official complaint but you'd like her to be aware of what has been said, although you are aware it is only hearsay. And if it goes on you'd like her guidance. What does she think you should be keeping a note of? While of course hoping it all calms down, least said soonest mended etc.

Then she will be aware should any further malicious gossip come to her. But you don;t have to Do anything formal?

gitw

I think I will do that Emmzi. Have had time to calm down tonight and think about it properly. As I said i get on quite well with my hr lady so will ask for a chat and see what she advises.

Thanks everyone for listening to me today and giving me your advice. Hopefully Thursday will lay the issue to rest and I can stop getting stressed because it's not something I like I have to say!

Emmzi wrote: »

ask HR lady for an informal chat for guidance. tell her you'd like to avoid an official complaint but you'd like her to be aware of what has been said, although you are aware it is only hearsay. And if it goes on you'd like her guidance. What does she think you should be keeping a note of? While of course hoping it all calms down, least said soonest mended etc.

Then she will be aware should any further malicious gossip come to her. But you don;t have to Do anything formal?

getmore4less

From what you have said HR know whats going on, probably not the first time, the schemers stand out a mile when you look for the evidence.

1,2 are both at risk of no work, other seniors probably not too keen on having them as their PAs since this will be known even though HR might be keeping things as quiet as possible. your bos probl knows but is smart enough to not tell you.

3 is bringing the company into disrepute by discussing internal disaplinery with third parties.

Sounds like 1 as had a talking too, being so nice.

You work in a two faced world, update HR with what 3 has been doing let then sort out the evidence. someone(1,2?) has obviously been talking to 3 internaly when they should be keeping things confidential.

loisa

Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

epatolles

Decyfa wrote: »

That is good advice.. The way to get back at rude people is to overkill it with nice. It really dos !!!! them off to no end!

hehe I tried this on my ex's dad for months! he couldnt stand me for no apparent reason so I was always like HI HOW ARE YOU? CAN I GET YOU SOMETHING TO EAT OR A DRINK? in his face all smiley smiley!
eventually the worms ate into my ex's brain but at least I still got one up on daddy! :A