frightened of bankrutcy

katedavis

I have been adviced by the cab to make myself bankrupt but feel scared.
been living with my partner for just over two years, he doesnt know the mess i'm in.
my previous partner was not paying the bills i've found out since with the letters that keep arriving on my doorstep and they were joint loans.
will my new partner be involded in my bankruptcy because he has his own property, i dont have anything to do with his bills.

Sunnylooloo

Hi Kate,

well done on speaking to CAB and also posting on here. I can not tell you how good the advice I got from CAB and National Debthelpline has been.

I understand how you are feeling and you really have taken a big step and you will be surprised to hear that all of us have been in that place.

Please don't be scared and someone will be along with some advice for you soon (I just wanted to offer some support and don't want to give you any wrong advice as I am still very much at the begining of my own journey)

One big thing I would say.... it might help talking this over with your new partner. I know it is really hard and I felt awful about my situation and there is was nothing my new partner could do to help me as he has no spare money, but the support and love he has shown me really helps. Once I plucked up the courage to tell my family and a few close friends I found the support amazing.

You will also find the people here are fab, everyone has their own story and you will get nothing but help and advice and no one will judge you.

Take care it is such a big step but you are not alone

LL
x

immoral_angeluk

First of all you really need to talk to your partner about it. If you have any joint finances (even so much as joint household bills) there will be an effect on his credit rating as well as yours. But if you hide the fact you've gone bankrupt from him and he finds out, it's likely the trust between you will be seriously damaged and I've seen far too many clients at work who have ended up splitting because of money problems and mistrust.

Edit: It is worth checking your credit files to see if there is a financial association with him. If there is, he will be affected by your credit rating and visa versa.

skylight

It's possible, although really difficult to keep quiet, to go BR without telling anyone. But if he finds out then thats the trust gone. BR is a big thing and you cannot support the ones you love if you don't know what's happening in their lives.

You should be honest with him. It's not the end of the world. Even if you live with him then it shouldn't affect him in any way if his property is in his name. Do you two have any joint debts together now??

katedavis

Thanx to both replies, we have not got anything joint regarding the house or otherwise. just sacred of telling him.

immoral_angeluk

Another thing to think about is what about the future? Do you see you having a future with this guy? What about if you want to get a mortgage together?

katedavis

we are engaged to be married sometime this year. dont think at 55yrs old i would want a mortgage

Sunnylooloo

Hi Kate,

I know it is really scarey, but come on you have taken a big step by even speaking to the CAB it shows you are facing up to things.

I felt terrible telling my partner, having to say it's my own stupid fault for ending up in this mess, but all he could do was support me and say I needed to do what is right for me.

Immoral Angel is right, this is quite a big thing to try and keep secret, and as hard as it is.... honesty is the best policy. Esp for the future.

Take a deep breath and please try not to worry, but I do feel you do need to speak to your partner.

xx

immoral_angeluk

Ah ok. It still stands though that you don't kno what the future may bring. Burying your head in the sand and entering into a marriage founded on a huge secret will only lead to heartbreak. I'm sorry if that comes across as harsh but it's true. I work for the CAB and I've seen tonnes of cases where a couple have split/divorced because of debt. Don't forget that the OR may publish your bankruptcy in the local papers also. It's a very big thing to hide and I can't see it ending well if you do sadly.
Honesty is the best policy. Your husbandtobe should be there for you through thick and thin.

As the vows say, "in sickness and in health, for better or for worse".

katedavis

tell you what guys.. feel better already. i'm going to TRY and tell him tonite.

immoral_angeluk

The more factual you can be the better in my experience...
Tell him you have a debt problem, it's happened because of x,y,x..... I owe &x to x people and I've done a,b,c to resolve it and feel bankruptcy is my only option having been to the CAB for advice. I have been scared of telling you because....

It will be emotional and he may not be very pleased, but you will probably be surprised how much better you'll feel for getting it out in the open. They always say a problem shared is a problem halved.