Argh my baby doesnt like sleeping at night!!

karenx

Hiya all!
Hoping someone can help me with some advice! I asked about this a few months ago and took on some good advice however still having a few problems.
I have a 7 month old baby, absolutly brilliant during the day. Full of smiles and giggles. Eats and drinks well and only has a few little naps.
Come 7pm its bed time and 9 times out of 10 he goes down easily within about 10mins. On the odd ocasion it will be about 7.30-7.45 before he is off to sleep and usually on those times he will have a good cry.
Thats him sound asleep till about 11ish. Taken on some advice previously from here about giving him a dream feed. So about 10.30-10.45 I will give him some milk and he will take about 30ml without really waking up. Then hes asleep till about 2-3ish. Usually just wakes up and cries for a bit, he wont settle in his cot so I need to take him out and cuddle him. I cant leave him to cry himself back to sleep as I dont think its right to let a baby do that and also I have my partner and other son who is 5 to think about. 9 times out of 10 once cuddling him in bed he will nod off to sleep after a few minutes. Odd ocassion he will take a few sips of milk to settle him back down if he has gotten himself into a bit of a state with crying.
Again about 5ish he is up crying again, after a few sips of milk he will go back to sleep. But after he is up at about 2 he wont settle back into his cot unless I leave him sleeping in my bed about half an hour to get him into a good sleep but as you can imagine its impossible for me to try stay awake in the dark at that time of morning to let him get to sleep then put him in his cot.
Advice from before was to leave lavender near the heater, also leave something that smells of me in his cot so he gets the impression I am still next to him. I think both of these have certainly helped as he is going almost straight back to sleep once cuddling him. Whereas before it would take a good while to get him to sleep again.

I cant really think of anything else that could help him to stop walking up? Do you think another dream feed about 1.30 would help if I set my alarm to get up?
Im soooo tired through all this and Im now back at work 4 days a week so Im usually up about 6.30ish to get lunches ready and showered, hair washed etc plus getting my son ready for school. I feel physically tired. I keep getting told I dont look tired but I think its due to the fact the past 7 months I get harly any sleep so this is just the way I now look lol! Added in with some good eye cream, foundation and under eye brightner!

I would really appreciate any other ideas or tips anybody has to try help my little one sleep longer!

Thank you so much in advance x

JBD

I think the solution is too stop taking him out of his cot when he wakes at 2-3 am. I would try and soothe him by stroking his back or his head rather than lifting him out and cuddling him. I don't think he needs any more milk ,the problem is that he hasn't learnt to settle himself back to sleep. How does he settle himself for his daytime naps?

karenx

JBD wrote: »

I think the solution is too stop taking him out of his cot when he wakes at 2-3 am. I would try and soothe him by stroking his back or his head rather than lifting him out and cuddling him. I don't think he needs any more milk ,the problem is that he hasn't learnt to settle himself back to sleep. How does he settle himself for his daytime naps?

I cant leave him in his cot, once he wakes he sits up. When I try lie him down he cries even more. I try leave him sitting and lean into his cot and rub his back and touch his face but it doesnt work. I always try this first before taking him out. But the longer I leave him in the worse he gets.
For daytime, he has a sleep about midday which he cuddles into me and within minutes he is away. And about 3 he has a nap in the car when picking my son up from school.

JBD

I'm afraid the only advice I can give is to try putting him in his cot during the daytime so that he learns how to fall asleep on his own.I did this with all my babies and they all slept really well at night. Yes they do cry a little at 1st and it does seem a little harsh but it does really pay off.

katglasgow

If you don't want to bed share with your child then I would strongly urge you to think about leaving him to cry whilst he is young as it gets harder the older they get. IMO I think it is kinder to teach a young baby how to fall asleep by themselves so I would always put them down for a nap/sleep awake. I did this with both my children, and whilst it was hard the first time I let them cry, even by the second time there was a huge improvement. All in all it took 2-3 nights. Both my kids, are now great sleepers, they love their beds and are quite happy to go to bed when told its bedtime, they get a story from one of their parents and are left awake in bed to go to sleep themselves.
I would also see what happens if you don't given him a dream feed at 11. By giving him one when he enters his first "light" sleep as you encouraged him to think that they only way he can resettle into a heavy sleep is by having a feed or a cuddle?
If you feel unable to go down this route, given that you are now working 4 days a week, is bed sharing an option? You need sleep and I am sure he wont still be sharing your bed when he is 10 :eek:
Can you also ask your hubbie to make the lunches the night before, lay out breakfast things and school clothes so you can have a little longer in bed?
Good luck x

Philycheesesteak

7 month old... just a few months younger than my youngest.

Possibly teething, have you tried some teething gel or granuals.

Have you started weining yet? If they're hungry solid food will sustain them longer.

We introduced a night feed but it became habitual, we've eventually reduced the volume to non at all. She may wake at 11:00 but sleeps through the night now.

I know this may sound cruel but have to waited to see if they get off to sleep on their own. Wait no longer than 10 mins (which WILL seem an eternity). Again I echo the comments to avoid picking them up (unless they need winding) and stroking their chest or legs or head normally does the trick... or even letting them grip a finger.

adj_2

Agree with the ideas of previous posts. I completely understand your reluctance to leave your baby crying, but perhaps by cuddling, feeding, he's merely learning that this is the set routine to settle back to sleep. I know it sounds harsh, but for us, using the controlled crying method worked a treat.
This basically means that you do your normal bedtime routine and lay them down to sleep then leave the room. If they cry, leave them for 2 minutes and then return. Don't interact with them, just lay them back down, say goodnight and leave the room again. (If your child sits up, that's fine, still leave the room.) Increase the time you leave them crying by a minute each time and repeat until they have fallen asleep. I know you said that your baby settles fine at 7pm but then wakes throughout the night/early hours. Still impliment this throughout. (It is hard though, with another little one asleep, but it will pay off).

The first night for us was awful - we had to do it for 2 hours, but with every night, it got easier and quicker. By the end of the week our daughter went off no probs and learnt to settle herself in the night. Just try to see it as teaching your child to settle himself. I know it's tough, but it does work. As someone else said, the older they get, the harder it will be. As long as your child is safe, well, fed etc, no harm will come to him and before you know it, you'll have your full night's sleep.

Good luck!

missindecisive

does he have a dummy? welcome to the world of motherhood:beer:

pinkclouds

karenx wrote: »

9 times out of 10 once cuddling him in bed he will nod off to sleep after a few minutes. Odd ocassion he will take a few sips of milk to settle him back down if he has gotten himself into a bit of a state with crying.

Sounds like a perfectly normal baby to me! In my opinion, the easiest solution is to co-sleep, as he goes back to sleep as soon as he knows you're there. Put him between you and a bed guard (not between you and your partner) and he'll be quite safe and you'll have a good night's sleep. If he's not really nursing through the night (just a "few sips of milk") then you may find that co-sleeping helps him to sleep through completely and you can move him back to sleeping in his cot. Of course, every child is different... By a process of trial and error, I discovered that bed socks helped my eldest to sleep through. She wouldn't use a baby sleeping bag, always kicked all the bed covers off and had cold feet whenever she woke up. Warm feet = sound asleep. Anyway, good luck!

karenx

Thanks for all the suggestions. I have tried leaving him to go to sleep himself at 7ish and he just ends up crying. I definatly cannot do this through the night as his cries are piercing ones and my partner is up for work at 6.30, so its bad enough one of us harly getting any sleep.
After his first wake I take him into bed with me for rest of the night, although he is safe I dont want to continue doing this for months down the line. Everynight bar about 10 Iv had a babsitter he has always ended up in bed with me since he was born.
He is teething and it could be 1 cause of this but he has been like this everynight from birth. He gets gel and calpol and granuals regurarly. He also has 3 meals a day aswell as some milk.
Guess I just gotta keep going like this for the forseeable future:(

patchwork_cat

I am sorry that this goes against what you beleive, but by giving him a bottle and a cuddle he is not learning that he must sleep and it is not cuddle time. He doesn't know this. I can't think of any way other than not picking him up and not giving him milk to stop this. The quickest way to stop it would be controlled crying- it was the only thing that worked with our second child, DD, it was absolutely horrible and the first night horrendous, but within 3 nights she was sleeping through.