Maintainance, not under CSA

freddie2

I wonder if anyone can give me any guidance.
I was divorced in 1991. At the time a court order was made for my ex to pay £330 per month, half for my daughter until she finished full time education and half for me until such time I remarry. This figure was reached through amicable negotiaition as it covered the cost of my mortgage at the time. When we divorced he did not earn a huge amount so I agreed to drop the amount to £250 (informally) which he has continued to pay since, initially to me and when she went to uni to my daughter. He has since remarried and done very well for himself financially.
My daughter finishes uni in Sept and he has said he will no longer give her any money, in a way that really upset her. Obviously this is right in terms of her support, however I assume he will still have to pay me (I have not remarried). He has not supported my daughter in any other way (no help with clothes, treats or taken her on holiday) so part of me wants nothing to do with him, and part wants to get every penny out of him. Would it be straight forward to enforce the court order and would I be entitled to claim for any previous underpayments given that there is no evidence of a variation in payments, although I have accepted the lower amount for years .

maggied_2

Wow.......

karenx

You say he has not supported your daughter but yet he has been giving her £250 per month for her to spend as she pleases.
You have accepted lower payments so I dont think you would have a case there.

freddie2

I said he has not supported her "in any other way"! Most fathers I know who do not live with their children are supportive when needed!
The £250 ( when I think of it £90 of which was actually my maintainance) was used to help fund her through university!

speedster

i think you've done kinda ok out of the whole situation compared to a lot of others.

after 20 years, isn't it about time you learnt to do without his money now?

LizzieS_2

Strictly speaking you can enforce past payments, but you can only go back a set number of years I think. Due to the number of years you have accepted the lower payments, your chances of succeeding are restricted.

You have spent years knowing your ex only paid what you both privately agreed to, realistically you should have spotted he would only help with extras if he had to so the current situation should be no surprise.

For the spousal maintenance, if he is refusing to pay this, you can enforce payments through the courts. Payments will count from around court application. One other thing to consider here is that either of you can apply for a variation of maintenance which could mean the amount goes down or up. His current success is unlikely to higher the amount, but a change in your circumstances (such as now been able to work more hours) could reduce the figure.

DX2

speedster wrote: »

i think you've done kinda ok out of the whole situation compared to a lot of others.

after 20 years, isn't it about time you learnt to do without his money now?

Especially as she now appears to have another partner! Cake and eating it.

chriszzz

Pure greed and jealousy!! Just because your ex wont financially support her no more you now want to take him to the cleaners!!
I think its disgraceful that you want to keep him tied to you and your daughters purse strings.

Maybe when your daughter finishes uni in sept and gets herself a job and instead of expecting from dad she may want to consider taking pops out for lunch and thank him for helping her through her education.

I think you both have been very lucky, lots of kids get nothing but you want more....when does it stop???

karenx

Surly now that he is not needing to pay for his daughter you can see this as being free from him and never having to deal with him or talk to him again. Unless its an emergency to do with your daughter

freddie2

Thank you for those who have given factual information rather than opinions. As I said I am not particularly interested in the underpayments. My ex is now a very wealthy man and has been for the last ten years, and in order to try to ensure he maintains a relationship with my daughter I have agreed that he pay far less than he would under the CSA, and I accept this was my fault!
However what I wanted to know is how straight forward is it to enforce an existing court order for spousal maintainance.
As for me having a new partner yes I do, after 19 years of being a single parent I do, although we do not as yet live together....hardly having my cake!!!!!!

speedster

if you don't want opinions, then don't post on a "public" forum......


simplezzzz