Need advice on seperation please.

maxgwen

Ill try make this as short as poss but its a complicated 1.

Met a guy (singer in band) bought a house and had 2 children together, wen our 2 kids were 3yrs and 5yrs old i found out he had got a young 18yr old groupie pregnant she was 5 months into the pregnancy wen i found out.
He convinced me it was a 1 off so he got a second chance. we got married and within less than 2 yrs he was at it again. This opened a very large can of worms i was being informed of all my husbands infidelities by ex band members and various so called friends.
So he left for 12 yrs came to take the kids once a wk and an occasional 3 days in summer hols.
I carried on living in the house we had bought in 1987, he didnt pay maintenance as such he paid the mortgage but i had to maintain the house and the kids on a very low income. Even though we had seperated we still stayed friends, after 10 yrs he moved bk to his mums and unforseen circumstances brought us bk together, and it was out of compassion that i took him bk. we didnt talk about wat would happen if things didnt work out but it didnt take long for his feet to be bk under the table and for him to start building a workshop for his business. Things just didnt feel right for me my independence was being taken away he took control of everything i felt lonely as the kids had left home by now and it was just us 2 rattling round a huge house, i was being taken for granted and needed my life bk.
I left him 8 months ago and moved into a rented house with a girlfriend, he always expected me to "come to my senses" and go home but wen after 6 months of getting my self sorted i won a large sum of money on the lottery and bought myself a brand new house. :j:j:j he realised i wasnt going bk and started being awkward. says he needs a wife (more like a mug) so if im never going bk he wants a divorce from me and he wants to marry and move in to my house the woman he left me for 15yrs ago.
can any1 advise me where to go from here???

iamana1ias

maxgwen wrote: »

Ill try make this as short as poss but its a complicated 1.

Met a guy (singer in band) bought a house and had 2 children together, wen our 2 kids were 3yrs and 5yrs old i found out he had got a young 18yr old groupie pregnant she was 5 months into the pregnancy wen i found out.
He convinced me it was a 1 off so he got a second chance. we got married and within less than 2 yrs he was at it again. This opened a very large can of worms i was being informed of all my husbands infidelities by ex band members and various so called friends.
So he left for 12 yrs came to take the kids once a wk and an occasional 3 days in summer hols.
I carried on living in the house we had bought in 1987, he didnt pay maintenance as such he paid the mortgage but i had to maintain the house and the kids on a very low income. Even though we had seperated we still stayed friends, after 10 yrs he moved bk to his mums and unforseen circumstances brought us bk together, and it was out of compassion that i took him bk. we didnt talk about wat would happen if things didnt work out but it didnt take long for his feet to be bk under the table and for him to start building a workshop for his business. Things just didnt feel right for me my independence was being taken away he took control of everything i felt lonely as the kids had left home by now and it was just us 2 rattling round a huge house, i was being taken for granted and needed my life bk.
I left him 8 months ago and moved into a rented house with a girlfriend, he always expected me to "come to my senses" and go home but wen after 6 months of getting my self sorted i won a large sum of money on the lottery and bought myself a brand new house. :j:j:j he realised i wasnt going bk and started being awkward. says he needs a wife (more like a mug) so if im never going bk he wants a divorce from me and he wants to marry and move in to my house the woman he left me for 15yrs ago.
can any1 advise me where to go from here???

Divorce him and give him the house he paid for. Why wouldn't you?

esmf73

get a lawyer - am not sure if I'm right, but think that as you won the lottery whilst you were legally together I think that everything gets divided half and half - others will come along with more advice I know.....
Sorry

neneromanova

I think if you can prove that you moved out and left him before you won the lottery and bought the house then that is seen as monies earnt after the marraige even though you're still married.

Wishfairy2010

I've a feeling that a lottery win can still be taken into account for a while after seperation or divorce, especially if you used numbers that were 'shared' by your ex.

If you are financially secure now I wouldn't worry too much about divorcing him for adultry and letting him have the house, or at least enough money from the sale that he could buy another. Talk to a solicitor, most will give the initial consultation free.

mackemdave

If you were still married,even though you were living seperate lives, when you won the lottery then your ex is entitled to 50%.....

kalonasum

EEk bad luck on the man and well done on the lottery win - not sure what your legal standing is - or my own as my husband of 15 years has just walked out on me but I think as hard as it seems you need to walk away with your head held high and if that means being the bigger person and letting him have the house while you move forward I think that would be for the best - you can never get back what you have lost so look forward to the future and let go of what you had....good luck for the future xx

floss2

Go see a solicitor ASAP.