Really Dreading Next Month... Any Suggestions?

gpee_2

Definitely get rid of the Sky. Almost a year ago I sold my Sky HD box and bought a Freesat+ HD box as we don't have any freeview reception here. It did cost me £200 for the hardware which I couldn't really afford at the time, but it has more than paid for itself as I am no longer paying £50 a month to watch a load of channels that I never even knew I had, and I still get the timeshift and recording facilities that I had with Sky+.

josephine82

I think that you should just concentrate on tracking where the surplus goes- if you can work this out and actually find that money, or add it into your SOA then you will be able to make a real dent in things.

Why not start a diary on here to track your spending? I've done it and I have reduced my spending on entertainement, general crap and really notice a difference.

Bog-Pony

Mrs_Ryan wrote: »

Unless we were certain Freesat worked - we couldnt get shot of Sky. Freeview doesnt work round here, like I said - I dont think we could live without TV at all :eek:

We use Tesco - I'm going to have a go at OH about branded products, he refuses to eat Value stuff but Im sure most of their own products are fine.

Have you checked you can't get Freeview? Things change. If you weren't able to get it in th epast you might be able to now.

Your OH can't be precious about value products. He desn't get a choice any more if you want some more money in the bank. I don't understand why you can't go to Aldi etc? Are there no buses? If you don't drive and your OH won't go shopping on his own, go together. You must spend a couple of hours together a week. In Aldi, Lidl he won't be able to fuss about higher priced brands....or you can leave him in the car with a window open a crack

Mrs_Ryan

Ok - here goes.

The DMP is MINE. It is NOT a joint DMP. The DMP is debt accrued over quite some time, not necessarily all of it when we were together. I used to spend a lot of time off work in my previous job due to health reasons and trying to look after OH and so as such lost a lot of money in wages,and I also had to give up my nursing course due to my health so I fell behind to quite some extent. I currently have 14 accounts on there and there is abolsutely no way that the surplus would even touch it.
The house is solely in OH's name. We are talking about downsizing but trying to get a suitable house round here is like trying to get blood out of a stone :mad: he refuses (quite rightly) to remortgage to clear my debts - (thats why he got rid of his last girlfriend) my debts=my problem.
Most of the surplus is my wages tbh - I'm probably guilty of the overspend here.

Aldi and Lidl are on small industrial estates impossible to access without a car. The nearest bus stop is about 20 minutes walk away and with my back I dont even think I'd make it out of the store before collapsing!

Also, just let me reiterate - THE HOUSE IS IN OH'S NAME, ALONE. IT ALWAYS HAS BEEN. HE REFUSES TO EVEN CONSIDER PUTTING MY NAME ANYWHERE NEAR THE DEEDS. HE IS NOT, I REPEAT AGAIN, NOT ON A DMP. I AM. 90% OF THE DEBTS ON THERE HE DIDNT EVEN KNOW ABOUT AND SOME ARE FROM BEFORE I EVEN MET HIM. HE PAYS INTEREST ON HIS CAR FINANCE, HIS OVERDRAFT AND HIS SEASON TICKET. THE DMP COMPANY ARE NOT INTERESTED IN THE HOUSE AS TECHNICALLY I AM ONLY A LODGER!

The car is brand new - we cant sell it. I know this was incredibly irresponsible but that is OH's doing - not mine. He wouldnt have a used car. The last car we had was 10 years old and on its last legs and we need a reliable car as we have no suitable public transport here.I did try telling OH but would he listen? Would he heck.

And the shares arent even mine - theyre his - again, I have no claim on them, we are not married.

I think the problem lies more with me - not him, most of his money goes on bills whereas mine just goes on - debt, and wel.. god knows what else. I went on my DMP as I was paying out all my wages every month on repayments. My wages can vary wildly from anything from 800-1100 a month so there isnt always a massive surplus. We dont have a joint ANYTHING - we are not financially associated in any way - and he doesnt like taking money off me. Perhaps thats where the problem is...

I've got some good ideas and I know I need to buck my ideas up. Thanks everyone for their help. Im sorry if I got annoyed, but I didnt really explain properly about our situation - my fault. Sorry

rugbymum

Hi Missus
A couple of things -
You've listed your OH's bonds/shares, but then stated that the 35% debt is yours. Just how joint are your finances? If they are 100% together then you ned to look at ALL debts and assets as joint. In which case why not sell/cash in (depending on penalties of course) & get rid of 35% debt?
The tv. I know people keep going on about this, but seriously if you are on a DMP how on earth did you get the go ahead for that amount of Sky? I had to fight for my 18 per month!
I too live in a difficult reception area. However, check on the freeview website & see which channels will be available in your area after the switchover, then cancel the sky and your skybox will act as freeview receiver.
If like me, however, you wont get ANY freeview (in fact fewer channels than on terrestrial), then call sky & go to ABSOLUTE BASIC package ie 16/17 per month. Don't be too precious about this.
As for groceries - at the moment you are spending more per person than I do for me + 3 kids (one of whom still needs nappies!).
Again if you want to get shot of debt go down to basics on standard stuff and a few branded treats when they are on offer eg basic pasta, tinned tomatoes & mince but Lea & Perrins worcester sauce!
The spending diary in your case is URGENT! If I had your surplus I would be nearly debt free rather than facing Bankruptcy!

Mrs_Ryan

Hi rugbymum - no joint finances, at all. OH refuses!

The reason for the Sky is OH pays it - everything in his name. Because its a single DMP they didnt ask for details of his finances.

Have had a right go at OH about the shopping bill - we're going to look at cutting it. I'm going to look at my own SOA again and see where Im going wrong - something has gone mega-wrong somewhere - thats for sure.

josephine82

Hi MrsRyan

In that case why don't you work out the SOA based on your income, and what you pay out ? i.e a joint SOA is confusing if the debts aren't joint?

I'm sure we can get you sorted

josephine x

mum2one

would agree with josephine82, as the moment the soa is the pair of yours so it looks like your rolling in the money when as you have said technically you aren't.

Re do the SOA - what you get - I personally would use thehouse of cards one as a base but do your own, thats how I do mine every month, will all my incomings and outgoings so that way I can keep a track, tie that in with my spending diary, which is n exercise book borrowed! off my daughter, then when I'm out take a mini notebook, 20p Asda Value and write daily totals.

To meI didn't even think of it, but when I met friends for a coffee, I'm usually the one to say I'll get them, and 3 coffees 3 cakes, £10 gone, but added up over a year that £120 that I could of put off my debts, or even if I did 1 out of 3, still save £80. Its expensives like that, that add up.

Good luck with the new soa. xx

rugbymum

Mrs_Ryan wrote: »

Hi rugbymum - no joint finances, at all. OH refuses!

The reason for the Sky is OH pays it - everything in his name. Because its a single DMP they didnt ask for details of his finances.

Have had a right go at OH about the shopping bill - we're going to look at cutting it. I'm going to look at my own SOA again and see where Im going wrong - something has gone mega-wrong somewhere - thats for sure.

I suspect that if you redo the SOA based on your sole income & expenditure then you may well see where all that surplus goes....is it your OH's?
Just put in what YOU pay for & OH contribution to joint expenses (eg groceries). It might be a good idea if you pay half each. You say what you will pay & OH matches it. If he wants branded stuff then he could buy his own!

savingwannabe

Hello poppet, dont worry. It is really frustrating but you are making a start. Anything you do is a step forward. Make yourself a nice cup of tea. Remember we have all been here too. You have a lot of friends on here, it may look like people are being quite strict with their comments but it is because they are talking from experience and please remember that they do care. :beer: