Ex hassling me for money

missmontana

ses6jwg wrote: »

lol i wud liike to see her try

i have joint parental responsibility

i would have her in court for a contact order before she even put the phone down :rotfl:

parental responsibility doesn't mean a whole lot, and you can go to court for a contact order, but doesn't mean she will abide by it, I've seen a few go down that road and fork out thousands but still never get to see their children, sad but true!

Honest_broker07

Actually the courts will enforce contact orders !

and I know of a case where the PWC was threatened with jail if he continued to refuse his ex access to their son.

Strange that the only case I've seen taken to extremes was against a male PWC

Actually the whole court system is biased against blokes, when my ex was in court for theft from the kids ( yep she's that low ) the judge said had she been a man he would have sent her down but because she was a mother it would be unfair.

Kimitatsu

ses6jwg wrote: »

lol i wud liike to see her try

i have joint parental responsibility

i would have her in court for a contact order before she even put the phone down :rotfl:

Joint PR being honest has nothing to do with it apart from it means that you can apply to the courts. You could have her in court but in reality the family courts are that backed up at the moment you could be waiting 8 weeks to get a hearing, then if she plays the "its having an adverse effect on my child" card it could be referred to a CAFCASS officer, which could take at least another 8 weeks, so you could be looking at 4 months without contact.

Not fair and not right I know but some PWC's will use this and forewarned is fore-armed!!

clearingout

I agree - it can take an age to get child matters through the court system. We had a CAFCASS report ordered on 1st April 09 and didn't get it till 14th January 10. Very efficient!

But I did want to point out that it's not always necessary to have legal representation in these cases - the law does support both parents having regular contact with their children. Family law courts are not scary places and I have found judges to be entirely reasonable (more than I'd have liked to see with my ex, that's for sure!). Organisations such as Families Need Fathers can help with the logistics of it all and there are various sites online frequented by parents who have been there, done that, and finally won the t-shirt, all happy to guide others in the process.

ses6jwg

another one now....

I'm going on holiday for 2 weeks at the end of April and have asked whether my Mum and sister can still pick my daughter up and see her on the dates I would normally have her (as they love her and miss her when she is away)

ex has said flat out no and says she isn't letting daughter go anywhere where I am not present.

the only reason for this is spite, as my Mother is in her 50s and has raised 3 kids, and has no criminal convictions

Anything I can do in this situation?

missmontana

Tell her you won't give her any money for 2 weeks as you need it for spending on holiday...;)

AnxiousMum

You as a parent are in a position to be able to choose as well what is best for your child/ren. When my kids are/were with their father, I respected his rights to only do what is best for his kids - he would not leave them in unsafe surroundings or with people who did not have their best interests at heart, just as neither would I. When it is your time with your children, it is YOUR time - it's not for a PWC to put stringent terms on who they can and cannot see - as long as you are seen to be a fit parent (in any case if you weren't, I'm sure she'd be fighting you in court to only have supervised visits or something).

Why can't separated parents see that the children need to be treated, and are entitled to, as much of the same life they would've had if parents had been together. When you were together, and the wife went out for a day with friends or whatever, would there have been an objection then if you left the kids to visit with your mum for a bit while you went and had a hair cut or something? Likely not - but why does that become an issue when parents separate?

ses6jwg

AnxiousMum wrote: »

You as a parent are in a position to be able to choose as well what is best for your child/ren. When my kids are/were with their father, I respected his rights to only do what is best for his kids - he would not leave them in unsafe surroundings or with people who did not have their best interests at heart, just as neither would I. When it is your time with your children, it is YOUR time - it's not for a PWC to put stringent terms on who they can and cannot see - as long as you are seen to be a fit parent (in any case if you weren't, I'm sure she'd be fighting you in court to only have supervised visits or something).

Why can't separated parents see that the children need to be treated, and are entitled to, as much of the same life they would've had if parents had been together. When you were together, and the wife went out for a day with friends or whatever, would there have been an objection then if you left the kids to visit with your mum for a bit while you went and had a hair cut or something? Likely not - but why does that become an issue when parents separate?

One word - spite.

maggied_2

AnxiousMum wrote: »

You as a parent are in a position to be able to choose as well what is best for your child/ren. When my kids are/were with their father, I respected his rights to only do what is best for his kids - he would not leave them in unsafe surroundings or with people who did not have their best interests at heart, just as neither would I. When it is your time with your children, it is YOUR time - it's not for a PWC to put stringent terms on who they can and cannot see - as long as you are seen to be a fit parent (in any case if you weren't, I'm sure she'd be fighting you in court to only have supervised visits or something).

Why can't separated parents see that the children need to be treated, and are entitled to, as much of the same life they would've had if parents had been together. When you were together, and the wife went out for a day with friends or whatever, would there have been an objection then if you left the kids to visit with your mum for a bit while you went and had a hair cut or something? Likely not - but why does that become an issue when parents separate?

ses6jwg wrote: »

One word - spite.

Completely agree with that sentiment! Our BM is the same.

I remember from one of your other threads that you actually wanted to take your DD on this holiday and your X said no.

I'd be tempted to accept her decision on this one, just to disarm her slightly; as though she is being deliberately obstructive and if you're not asking any 'favours' from her then she can't mess you around.

It's horrible and of course you should be able to do want you've stated but has a little power here and is using it.

We've learnt this with our PWC. If we ask for nothing from her or her family then she's nothing to fight with - she absolutely hates it!