Death of estranged father

kyliechild

I have just discovered that my estranged father died in 1996 and myself and my siblings had never been told. I decided to try and find him after we left the family home with my mother 20 years ago. My parents divorced and we had no contact with him. He was a violent man and my mother took us away for our safety.
I have found a copy of his death certificate and have spoken to someone who lived near by and identified him after he died. He had a sibling with whom he had a long running dispute but who seemingly cleared his property after his death. I have no contact with this sibling as all ties were cut by my mother out of fear that my father would find us after we left.
Can anyone advise if there is any legality in informing relatives of a death? Also what are the procedures if he did or did not make a will and yet we weren't informed of his death?
Obviously I am quite shocked at the moment and unsure of where I stand legally. I do feel very upset that I did not know he had died.

GotToChange

I don't know how much help I can be but would suggest that you look for a Solicitior who can advise on this... I suppose that his wishes would have been made clear in his Will and this was the time that you would have been contacted - unless you were difficult to find... Sometimes, the Solicitors place adverts in newspapers - you know the type "Relatives of Joe Bloggs etc - to contact Blah Blah Solicitors" - but again, it would depend on how off the map you, your Mum and siblings were at that time. If your Mum didn't want you to be found, well that's just what happened.

It is such a sad thing to have happened; I hope that you find out what you need.

x

Pee

If there was no Will, legally you are his next of kin rather than a sibling. If there was a Will say appointing that sibling, they would be entitled to do what they liked and not to notify you.

Obviously it would be nice in the circumstances had they tried to notify you, although it sounds like your Mum wouldn't have made that easy, so it is possible they did try.

Do you think your dad had any assets worth arguing over?

Curious_George_2

I understand that your upset you just found out your faher died but i dont really get why your asking where you stand legally...

im sure there were attempts to find any family, and im sure there would have been announcements for anyone with an interest in the will in the paper etc
what are you after? someone to get a slapped wrist because you were not informed (because your mother did a great job keeping you under the radar) or are you looking for money? (which i imagine would be long gone by now)

Weeyin

Curious George, think your comments are a bit on the nasty side. Any child has a right to know about their father dying and if they are due anything inhertitance. It's no about 'slapping someone on the wrists' or money grabbing. The children have no say in a seperation and i think finding these details out my provide some sort of closure if nothing else. Also, if there was any estate, the father may well have wanted it passed onto his kids, even if he didn't formally write a will. If i was the original poster, i would contact a solicitor and find out.

woody01

Curious_George wrote: »

I understand that your upset you just found out your faher died but i dont really get why your asking where you stand legally...

im sure there were attempts to find any family, and im sure there would have been announcements for anyone with an interest in the will in the paper etc
what are you after? someone to get a slapped wrist because you were not informed (because your mother did a great job keeping you under the radar) or are you looking for money? (which i imagine would be long gone by now)

I understand i think.
Basically the OP wanted nothing to do with him when he was alive, but now wants his estate now dead.

kyliechild

Blimey Curious George, I was after advice not a dressing down. My reason for asking wasn't about money or inheritance as I have no interest. It was purely to establish the processes that should have been undertaken after his death. Thank you to those who reponded, I didn't know about the newspaper adverts which may have been the case as he was in a different county.

floss2

kyliechild wrote: »

I have just discovered that my estranged father died in 1996 and myself and my siblings had never been told. I decided to try and find him after we left the family home with my mother 20 years ago. My parents divorced and we had no contact with him. He was a violent man and my mother took us away for our safety.
I have found a copy of his death certificate and have spoken to someone who lived near by and identified him after he died. He had a sibling with whom he had a long running dispute but who seemingly cleared his property after his death. I have no contact with this sibling as all ties were cut by my mother out of fear that my father would find us after we left.
Can anyone advise if there is any legality in informing relatives of a death? Also what are the procedures if he did or did not make a will and yet we weren't informed of his death?

Perhaps your aunt/uncle could not find you because your mother had made such a good job of keeping your whereabouts a secret and you could not be found? Or perhaps they did not bother looking because they did not know where to start? Or perhaps your father had left instruction that you were not to be informed?

kyliechild

Thanks - it might be the case that they did try to contact, although I believe some relatives had addresses. Perhaps they did have instructions not to tell us. I hadn't considered that but it might make sense. To be honest I was only 6 when we left and could never ask my Mum too many questions later on as she used to get very upset. Hopefully using some of the advice given here I will be able to find some answers.

GotToChange

The thing is hun that your Mother wanted all ties between him/you children severed - so in that sense a "good job" was done.

But there is no need for anyone to make the harsh comments on here that they are doing - it simply says more about human nature (i.e. cynical/judgemental) than anything else. Big tut tut to whoever says upthread that kc didn't want to know her Father - she had no choice.

This is of course very much after the fact (and now you tell us it was not in this country...) - but that shouldn't mean you can't find out the things you want to know; although agree with another poster who says that any inheritance will in all likelihood be long gone so it's as well that that's not what you are interested in. I am not sure of the route to finding out something like this but am sure there will be a way - after all that's what t'Internet and Google were born for.

trufflebuggy

Sorry for your loss, even though you were estranged from your father for good reason this doesn't mean you shouldn't feel upset. He was your father after all and the person who helped bring you into this world. Emotionally you are rightly feeling upset and at a loss that you did not know that he had died, even though you weren't close it is a natural feeling to wonder what exactly happened, was he alone, what did he die of etc etc..... and why did no-one bother to tell you!

You can easily find out about any wills and probate by a bit of form filling. hmcourts-service should give you lots of helpful info.

I got my grandfathers will for my dad, as he was never allowed to know what its contents were his mother refused to discussed the contents with him and on her death I asked him if he'd finally like to know. (he felt he couldn't whilst she was alive).

I'm guessing you have no desire to contact your father's sibling, but obviously they would be the person to fill you in with details of your father life/death after you were estranged.

You can also get a copy of the death certificate. from gro.gov.uk

As for who should legally be informed upon someone's death I really don't know.

hth

Steph