Rant about DH yet again!!

EagerLearner

In our house my OH is not great with cash so 2 months ago we properly sat down and agreed that I would handle it all for both of us. I enjoy doing it and he doesn't have to worry.

If you do talk to him try not to incriminate or nag, as it's already as bad as it can be, making him feel bad may make things worse. Ask for a proper adult talk about your finances - as £390 has already been given away free to the bank.

Offer to try and get that £390 back yourself (this site has lots of free info), but that you would like control of the finances so that he's less stressed and he doesn't have to worry about things as he has work etc. I know it sounds wrong to put it that way, but if he thinks he'll be better off, less stress and you won't be angry with him anymore it's a better message than ending up arguing and blaming him for all the recent goings-on.

Play that card now and in a few months it won't matter anymore how you got to be in control of finances, just that you got there.

Good luck hun & let us know how you get on - try not to worry - just seems like you guys are at a stalemate and need to talk carefully.

AMILLIONDOLLARS

If you don't mind my asking? what excuse did he give why he wanted his wages paid into his own account, instead of the joint?

Personally my husband and myself have our own personal accounts, plus a joint account for the mortgage/bills etc. we each put in enough money tocover these bills and whatever is left in our personal accounts is ours to do whatever we wish, I would approach this problem from this angle, it could be that he is resentfull having to give all his wages to the joint account, which you have control over, agree an amount that he can keep in his a/c and makes sure he transfers over the remainder in good time for the household bills.

EagerLearner

I agree with AMillionDollars - a joint account & personal accounts for each of you are essential to retain your independence - as are standing orders and direct debits to make sure things get paid on time & you get no surcharges.

Prudent

Money can be quite a difficult area to communicate about. Most people have their own strong feelings about how it should be managed. Your hubby seems to be unable to deal with the issues. Either he is going to need to talk about it and be proactive with the finances or hand the responsiblity over to you properly and respect your decisons. That doesn't mean he has no further say, but it is about him acknowledging he is not dealing respoensibly with it.

dancingfairy

Perhaps explain that it's making you feel ill and you've had enough?