off sick and a grievance at work

iamana1ias

MummyHol wrote: »

Thats very rude. I was only refering to the fact that i need to leave the house to get things prepared. If i was not off sick i would be deing these things outside of my work hours. I didn't plan to go off sick and had even planned paternity leave and holiday.
Taking paternity leave and paid holiday when the baby is born would have been much better for me, but unfortunatly i am ill and it was my DR that has said i need time away from my job. Don't jump to the conclusion that i've planned to fake illness to get some time off work :mad:

Hey, I just read what you posted. It's all extremely convenient, that's all.

olly300

MummyHol wrote: »

MummyHol's OH posting on her username.

Hope someone can help me. I was signed off sick for stress and anxiety for 2 weeks at beginning of last week, waiting for an appointment with a counsellor and on medication. I have to go back to the drs on thurs to review and possibly to be signed off for longer.

You need a proper diagnosis and need to establish the cause of your stress and anxiety.

MummyHol wrote: »

HR called me on friday but i was unable to take the call and HR told MummyHol that they needed me to call back to arrange a meeting with them. Didn't get a chance to call back and saturday morning received a letter for a meeting with a senior manager and HR for this week (whilst still off sick) about a grievence i raised against a line manager the same day i got signed off.

Send a letter to them by recorded delivery stating that unfortunately you can't attend the meeting on xxx date, state what is wrong with you clearly on the letter, that you are receiving treatment and when you hope to get back to work. If you find the phone calls really distressing you can also explain why you haven't phoned them.

The reason to send it recorded is so if the issue escalates they can't deny not receiving your letter as the post office and royal mail are neutral third parties.

MummyHol wrote: »

First thing this morning HR called to confirm meeting and I have refused to discuss the greivence while my dr has signed me off, feeling its conterproductive to my recovery. HR have told me i have to go to the appointment anyway to discuss my ''absence'' and spent the remainder of the call trying to persuade me to attend the original grievence meeting and to make me discuss my reasons for raising the grievence.

HR are trying to protect the company against claims of you stating they made you sick, and from a personal injury claim/ a claim under the Disability Discrimination Act.

MummyHol wrote: »

Firstly i want to know if i'm in the right to refuse to attend the grievence meeting until my return to work. I don't want to cause myself any trouble for my return to work.

Yes you can if you are clear as I stated above.

MummyHol wrote: »

Secondly i'm concerned about being 'backed into a corner' at the meeting about my ''absence'' (as they are calling it) and where i stand on refusing to answer any questions relating to the grievence. Its complicated because the problems i have with my line manager have caused most of the stress and anxiety that i've been signed off for.

If you are in a union or know someone who is a trade union rep, you can add in the letter that you want your union rep to also attend all meetings you have with them when you get back to work as this would make you less anxious.

They can decline but if the issue escalates it could cause trouble for them.

olly300

dmg24 wrote: »

I would agree with jdturk. All too often we hear of employers who are slow at sorting out problems. Your employer is being efficient and trying to resolve the problem that is causing you stress. Why would you not want to co operate with that? Your stress will not go away unless you address the problem.

That's not actually true we don't know the actual cause of the OP stress and anxiety.

The work issue may have contributed to it but he also has a baby on the way, and may have had other trauma in the past.

I know people who have been signed of work for stress, anxiety and depression who had very recent traumatic things happen to them a manager with an inconsiderate style which their colleagues have been able to ignore has caused them to completely crack.

MummyHol

iamana1ias wrote: »

Hey, I just read what you posted. It's all extremely convenient, that's all.

My post was in response to questions on why i didn't take the HR call and my reasons for leaving the house.
And actually it's not convenient to be suffering from anxiety when MummyHol is going through a difficult pregnancy and so close to our baby's birth.

olly300

MummyHol wrote: »

My post was in response to questions on why i didn't take the HR call and my reasons for leaving the house.
And actually it's not convenient to be suffering from anxiety when MummyHol is going through a difficult pregnancy and so close to our baby's birth.

Just a tip. Instead of arguing with posters like iamana1ias who clearly have no understanding of mental health issues put them on ignore.

And concentrate on the posters who are giving you balanced advice even if you don't like the advice given.

scoot1on1

iamana1ias wrote: »

Good job you're off sick then, isn't it? Heaven forbid you use your annual leave to cover getting ready for your baby being born! (Unbelievable).

You don't sound like an employee worth hanging onto from what you've said.

Well that will help the OP ...I guess you haven't actually ever suffered from Stress. Same old views from people who don't know how this can affect individuals.

Stress can affect people in different ways, and the best way to get over this illness is to try and live your life as you would do when you are feeling normal. This stops you getting into a rut which can lead to severe depression.
So although the OP wasn't available to take a phone call does not mean he is pulling a fast one.

As regard to HR wanting to talk to you, they are required by law to give you a duty of care to return to work...If you don't feel ready for this meeting say that you don't feel quite up to it yet, and can they postpone it for another week.
They will not try and pressure you into a corner as if they do they are only going to make your condition worse. they will only want to see the best way forward to get you back and more importantly back in full health.
I understand the stigma associated with work related stress as unfortunately a few people think that it is someone pulling the wool over a companies eyes as such, but being struck down with this and very nearly getting to depression stage because of the actions of a manager I for one will not ever think of this illness in the same way as I had previously.

I hope you get better and don't rush or feel pressurised.

dmg24

olly300 wrote: »

That's not actually true we don't know the actual cause of the OP stress and anxiety.

Maybe you should learn to read the post?

MummyHol wrote: »

Its complicated because the problems i have with my line manager have caused most of the stress and anxiety that i've been signed off for.

MummyHol

Thanks Olly300

I did agree to go to the original absence meeting but not to discuss the grievence. They've now sent another letter pushing the date of the meeting because the manager who will attend wants to do the absense and grievence meeting at the same time. This letter sates that i can ask a colleague or someone from my union to attend, but i'm not part of a union. I do intend to take a colleague with me though.

olly300

dmg24 wrote: »

Maybe you should learn to read the post?

I read all the posts in the thread including the one before you posted which stated their OH was pregnant and had mobility problems.

Though to be fair the OP didn't mention it is a difficult pregnancy until afterwards.

The employer won't take the word of the OP that it's only the manager causing the stress and anxiety when they have difficult personal circumstances.

scoot1on1

Is it the same manager as the one you have the grievance with?