self representation in court

sc123_2

Can anyone offer an advice please.

I a representing myself in court next week (family court) regarding a contact order for my children. My ex is taking me back to court as he says that I am breaking the order. Basically I have 2 children (9 & 7) who have regular contact. On several occasions the youngest has not wanted to go and has sometimes been in a right state about going so has not gone. The eldest has always gone, up until about 6 weeks ago when she wanted to attend a friends party along with the youngest child. This is obvioulsy what caused my ex to take me back to court.

I am representing myself as I refuse to pay out anymore in solicitor fees. The first time round cost me £4000+ to get this sorted and my ex was on legal aid.

The hearing next week is a directions appointment. My ex's application is based on lies. His reason for taking me to court is a lie (at the time the application was submitted anyway). I also know that he is taking a barrister with him, he has legal aid again, although I have asked for this to be investigated. I am worried that a barrister will run rings around me. I have no idea whether I can put my point across and when I do this.

Does anyone have any experience of this that could offer me any advice.

Thank you.

By the way, I am not entitled to legal aid.

hankc35

Can anyone offer an advice please.

I a representing myself in court next week

Yes, dont.

sc123_2

Thanks for the advice. Unfortunately I do not have any spare money to pay a solicitor or barrister as all my spare money goes on my children, my ex pays nothing towards them.

dmg24

Hi sc,

Have you been to the Family Courts before? Have you had any contact from CAFCASS, or the Children's Recorder/ Officer from the court?

The best advice I could give for representing yourself is firstly to let the court officer know that you are representing yourself. Give them a call and ask them to make sure the judge is aware, also if you haven't been before ask if it would be possible to visit to see the layout of the room and have a brief chat with someone about the process. I know this is possible at some types of court but am not 100% sure about the Family Courts because of the hearings being private.

I haven't been to a Family Court but my understanding is that they are pretty informal and the staff will be as helpful as possible (or at least they should be!). I am very surprised that a barrister is attending a directions hearing, a solicitor would have been more than adequate.

With regard to the actual hearing, my advice is very much common sense stuff, remain calm (not easy when people are telling lies about you), and take a moment before you respond to any questions.

As it is only a directions hearing there may be very little decided, it may even be the case that they just refer you to mediation.

Though the judge is obviously unbiased towards either party, remember they are there to help in the smooth running of the case. They are very experienced as to how barristers will try to twist things, especially in cases where the other party is not represented, and they will do everything they can to help you in putting across your view.

On a view of getting some help beforehand, have you spoken to Citizens Advice? They may be able to give more information on the actual process, and/ or assist in arranging a visit beforehand.

Could I ask exactly what your ex wants to obtain from the hearing? Just to enforce the current order, or to vary it?

Sorry I can't give you anything more specific, but if you have any questions, or anything more specific you want to know, I'll do what I can to help.

sc123_2

thanks dmg

Yes I have been to the family courts before (the first time round) and had discussions with CAFCASS. I think i went back 3 or 4 times before it was finally sorted out with my ex not accepting any of my proposals and therefore I had to take a barriester with me for the final hearing .

I will contact the court and let them know that I am representing myself and will also take your advice at the hearing by remaining calm and certainly thinking about my response to questions.

I am pretty sure that at this hearing it will be suggested that we discuss things with a CAFCASS officer as I know that the hearing had to set when they were at the court.

I will contact the CAB and see if they can give me any information.

I think my ex just wants to enforce the order but I personally think that if I am going to court anyway I might see if it can be varied as, like I mentioned, my youngest is sometimes distraught and just doesn't want to go. My health visitor has told me that she suffers from separation anxiety. She was only 2 1/2 when my ex and me split.

thanks again for your advice.

hobo28

Hi

Firstly I don't blame you for not wanting to use a solicitor. They are so expensive and i do sometimes wonder if I would ever use one again or if I could do a better job myself.

You will be classsed as a Litigant In Person (LIP). I do know a few people who after running out of money on solicitors have fought on and swear by it. They reckon they've had more success however, you WILL need to be very familiar with the law. A judge may give you a little leeway if you are a LIP but ultimately things must be done by the book.

What might help is if you enlist the help of a Mckenzie friend. This is someone who can help you with points of law, give you moral support in court BUT is not allowed to speak on your behalf unless the judge asks them to.

Here are some links you may find useful:

http://www.fnf.org.uk/mckenfr.htm
http://www.bushywood.com/litigants_in_person.htm

The eldest has always gone, up until about 6 weeks ago when she wanted to attend a friends party along with the youngest child.

Sorry but I have to say that you did the wrong thing here. The party was within your ex's parenting time. Therefore permission should have come from your ex. He should have been informed and asked to make a decision and tell the children. Thats what I do. Often it does mean my kids miss out but its not my time with the kids and not my decision to make. Occasionally I will press the issue if its something my kids REALLY want but I have to accept my ex's decision as final. Just as I would expect the other way around. A court will also see that. If an order was in place then you did indeed breach it.

Unfortunately I'm not sure what you can do about the fact your youngest doesn't want to go. Courts will not take into account her views at her age and besides, his barrister will undoubtly spin it that you are preventing contact or alienating him as a father.

Have you discussed this with your ex? Because I cannot see how a court case would help. Lets say he won and the court says "OK, you must make the children go." So what? Your youngest will still get upset. What would be more useful is to discuss ways with your ex of faciltating contact and ways to make it a positive experience.

Kazipoo

Hi there,

A little different, but I represented myself in a sex discrimination case and the judge and everyone else for that matter (apart from the opposing solicitors) went out of their way to ensure that I was allowed a fair and balanced trial. Mine was settled before the final hearing because their case was shoddy to say the least. It was most daunting, but I took a friend with me and took my time. Most importantly I stuck to the facts.

mummy_Jay

Is it a court day or a dicussion with the Judge?

When I thought all was sorted with my ex he tried this, he also agreed with me that neither of us would use solicistors. So I wrote a letter to the court requesting that we could both have our mothers with us for moral support. Which was granted but then he turned up with a solicitor too.

If you have a diary with the details of each event and if possible why you youngest didn't want to go it may help. The judge is a person and will listen to you. AT 7 & 9 both children are old enough for their wishes to be taken into account.

In your shoes I would detail out the dates, which child attended and why the child that didn't attend, even if it was just to have it striaght in my own head.

Walk into the court with your notes, and try not to have dicussions with his solicitor before hand, they will try and wind you up so your more emotional in the court room.

But the one question I would ask is what does he want? and what does he expect you to do if the child really doesn't want to be with him?

Mrs_P_Pincher

Good point hobo re the McKenzie friend - OP should take a sensible friend with her who can help her out in the discussions, if any before the hearing and sit at the back in the hearing itself and take a full note of what is said.

I did this for a friend earlier this year. I wrote to the Court beforehand and told them what my background was and that I understood the Court process and how to behave and there was no problem. It was a good job I was there because afterwards her husband and his solicitor tried to twist everything, but I was able to go back to my notes and prove what had really been said.

Best to find someone who your ex doesn't have any issues with.

As costs come up and LA comes down , more and more people are representing themselves and the Courts are getting better at dealing with this.

Good luck

Mrs P P

francespoggle

It's been really helpful reading everyone's comments.

I have just been advised by my solicitor that she cannot represent me next Wednesday for personal reasons. She has advised that I self-represent. It is only a directions hearing and I have been to court 3 times before, but I'll admit to suddenly feeling a little nervous about going it alone. In the past I've always attended with a solicitor or barrister. My understanding is that barristers are NOT required for direction hearings and that I will be able to speak directly to my ex's solicitor before the hearing to try and thrash out what he want's (he's forced the hearing).

In a nut shell, we have a residence order which was agreed in court last January. The arrangements have run very well and our 2 young children, 3 & 7 years, are for the most part happy & settled in their routine. The children spend their time close to 50/50 between the two of us. Recently, my ex has employed an au pair and I, as I, under the terms of parental responsibility have asked him to provide references, CRB checks, details of clean driving licence etc about this carer. He has refused, citing that he is not obliged to provide any details. It concerns me that this person will change every 4 to 6 months and I want reassurance that the carers are suitably qualified and have been carefully checked. The current carer is not even fluent in English.

My ex appears to have taken such umbrage at my request that he's slinging mud all over the place and trying to make changes to arrangements that currently suit the children very well. His 'specific issue' order, I think, is for the judge to grant that he DOES NOT have to provide information on carers.

My solicitor advised that no judge in the land would ignore a mothers plee to seek reassurance about those employed to look after her children, but it would be good to know it anyone else has any views or experience about this?

There has never been a welfare issue in the past, so CAFCASS have not had to get involve. This time around, I think there is potential for this situation to affect welfare.

gratefulforhelp_2

francespoggle and indeed he has a responsibility to ensure that she is legally free to work and live here.