I've done it - finally told him!!!

Lucifer

I have been hanging around here for a few years now, watching, lurking and the odd post and have been dealing with my debts slowly and quietly.
I was one of the women too scared to tell my sensible other half in fear that he would judge me and somehow not look at me in the same way. I know he loves me and there was never any doubt of that and I adore him.

Last night I had a moment..... and decided that I am not gonna live like this anymore, if he doesn't love me enough to support me dealing with my debts then we shouldn't be together anyway!! I duly wrote down every debt I have. I also added (which is important to me), that I have never been overdrawn, missed a payment or defaulted. I am not asking him to pay a penny just support me in doing so, put it in an envelope and left it for him to digest and think before he speaks to me (ok so that bit is not too brave).

But I did it and now am very proud of meeeee and I am proudly dealing with my debts all £23,000.00 of them :eek:

ANewEra

Well done! It sounds like you were quite brave in doing so, hope he is supportive for you. I bet you feel like a weight is off your mind now though!

gonzo127

well done for owning up takes a lot of courage to do so but so much better once it is out in the open

Tixy

Hi Lucifer

Well done for working up the courage. I do hope he is supportive of you.

Lucifa73

Had to pop in to support a fellow luc! Well done on owning up. It will make things easier going forward because he will know why you can't afford to do things...

Lucifer

Thank u sooooo much for the support, I hope he is ok too, I know he will be gutted but think he loves me enough. If not I guess I will find out the hard way!!

tygar2

Lucifer wrote: »

Thank u sooooo much for the support, I hope he is ok too, I know he will be gutted but think he loves me enough. If not I guess I will find out the hard way!!

Hope he supports you. It will be such a huge weight off your shoulders!
Support makes it easier even if its just talking about it. Whatever happens you always got the forums to turn to. To me, they are priceless.

Good Luck!

magical28

Hi Lucifer, I did the same thing two weeks ago with my other half (although I told him face to face. lol). He has been very supportive and spent time with me going through everything and speaking to people who can help. I am now starting a DMP with CCCS on 1st april to get it all paid back.

It's worked out way better for us both as now I can afford to pay some more into the joint account each month and he can stop stressing out so much as well.

Good luck and well done for not missing any payments so far.

Lucifer

He loves me!!!! He said 'whilst I can't pretend I'm happy, I would rather be with the love of my life with a debt, then a debt free life without her". It's gonna be weird getting his trust again. We r gonna rejuggle finances and he said he won't tell me what to spend my money on, is it ok if we have a sit down once a month to go through it. Of course was my instant reply, I would rather it than all the onus being on me.

Thank u sooooo much xxx

Jacobs_Crackers

Hi,

a big well done :T. I told my OH the other week & thought i was going to be single again so I know how hard it would have been for you. You should be really proud of yourself!

Also well done on your weight loss - that's fab!

JC.
x

gonzo127

so glad he has accepted it, to be honest the trust thing might not be as much for you to win back as you think now as once he has thought things through i hope he will come to realise how much corage it took for you to own up to it all

also with him on board it might be easier to make some of the simple changes in your life now which can save you some money such as changing your shopping habbits for food, dropping you TV/Mobile tarriffs if you have them etc

good luck with everything and dont be a stranger here, maybe get him to sign up as well (unless you still want a place you can come and have a rant if you need it even about him...)