New job - how long to settle in?

Samanthamum

Fire_Fox wrote: »

What exactly is he going to do if you do the overtime and don't have tea on the table? Have you considered buying a slow cooker? I can throw a meal together in literally five minutes and then leave to cook for four to six hours. Can make soups, stews, curries, bolognese, chilli con carne etc. :cool: Some people do fry off onions and meat but many don't and there is little difference.

I do use a slow cooker a lot, but there is still the spuds/pasta to prepare when I get home. I do not joke when I mean DH does not do anything around the home. Boiling some pasta would make him feel like he has "made" tea and thats "my" job. He likes his tea between 5 and 6, any later and he gets a bit cross.

We had a big row last night when he told me how lazy I am and how his mother keeps a showhome even will a full time job. he is very old fashioned, that is just his way.

Samanthamum

paulwf wrote: »

To be honest as you are only doing 4 hours unless you are having an appalling work environment I think you should just put up with it until you can find something better. If you were doing 40 hours a week then my advice would be different, but for 4 hours a day you hardly get there before you will be going again so you should be able to stick it out. Trust me it will seem so much better once you have been there a month or two...good luck with it.

Yes, it is feeling much better already as my confidence is growing.

paulwf

Samanthamum wrote: »

I do use a slow cooker a lot, but there is still the spuds/pasta to prepare when I get home. I do not joke when I mean DH does not do anything around the home. Boiling some pasta would make him feel like he has "made" tea and thats "my" job. He likes his tea between 5 and 6, any later and he gets a bit cross.

We had a big row last night when he told me how lazy I am and how his mother keeps a showhome even will a full time job. he is very old fashioned, that is just his way.

That's a real pain, I guess it is because it has been like that for 15 years. We manage to do the housework and both have full time jobs by having "relaxed" standards

Could you get them to do other things such as getting the teenager to do the washing up and your DH to take the bins out and pop into the shops on the way home? There must be plenty of small jobs that will add up to saving you a few hours.

With regards to tea give your husband a choice...either boil some pasta and you earn extra money, accept the drop in pay, live off ready meals, or have dinner late. Personally I think you should have your own life as well as being part of the family unit so do overtime if you want to, he will soon learn how to boil rice etc when he feels hungry.

mqandy

Get a cleaner with the extra income you've got - £25 a week could save you a lot of housework when your most worn out!

Call centres usually have very high staff turnovers - there may well be slightly better (supervisor, team leader, etc). positions available within months even - something better to look forward to, if nothing else.

RiverStar

mqandy wrote: »

Get a cleaner with the extra income you've got - £25 a week could save you a lot of housework when your most worn out!

Call centres usually have very high staff turnovers - there may well be slightly better (supervisor, team leader, etc). positions available within months even - something better to look forward to, if nothing else.

I agree with most, give it 1-3 months and then look for something better, more suited to you.
The family summit is a good idea, remember your family is adjusting too, I'd also have a chore timetable in place, pin it in the kitchen/on fridge, then everyone knows their jobs and when to do them.

Re getting a cleaner - IMO you earn little enough 4 hrs a day on NMW so I'm sure you'll want to spend the hard earned cash on some treats... you won't need a cleaner once you have summit/job timetable in place. Good luck

Samanthamum

Short update. It has been 3 months and I still hate it. My mental health is suffering and I cry daily. I cannot afford to give it up and am at a loss what to do as jobs are very thin on the ground here.