small minded people bringing me down!

lazy&indebt

Arrggghhhh!
Right, since coming on this website I have told everyone about it and my journey to become debt free. I have two sets of mates – one set are mature, my age and think it’s great that I’m doing something about it. The other set think I’m boring and spend all of their money on beer – some of them are in debt also but think it’s ‘cool’ to brag about the fact that they’ve been threatened with court action.
I’ve just been talking to one of them about general stuff. Just mentioned that I hadn’t spent anything at all since Tuesday and I’ve still got £100 left and I get paid tomorrow. He turned round and accused me of being boring because I’d spent every night in! So I accused him of being boring because he spent every night in the pub. Don’t think he appreciated that!!!
It really gets me down when I am trying really hard (working two jobs etc) and not going out much so I can pay off my debts and make something of my life and these small minded people keep bringing me down!!
I swear if I didn’t have you lot to moan too I’d go mad!
I can’t wait until 5/10 years time when I am financially secure and these idiots are still living off of their parents

Avogirly

lazy&indebt wrote:

I can’t wait until 5/10 years time when I am financially secure and these idiots are still living off of their parents

Definately, I really feel down sometimes, but knowing that I will be debt free sooner means that I will be able to go down the pub and have a good night knowing that the money I am spending is mine and not owed to anyone else! I long for that day and, wow, will that drink be a large one!:D

Iriahm

hey, i know exactly how you feel but they will have their lightbulb moment when you are financially secure and will probably come to you for advice. I don't drink very much any more, rarely go out, but have people round for supper and have found that MSE is highly addictive, as is selling on ebay....we are all capitalists on here! the energy and drive to make money and pay off debts is incredible....if only we could bottle it and sell it!!

you are not alone feeling like this! my OH is financially secure and i find it very hard as I don't want him paying for everything and this does put pressure on us as I do get down when he is out with "the boys" all the time. We have "us" time on a Friday night.

missk_ensington

Think you need a new set of friends! Friends are supposed to encourage you and support you, not drag you down. These are fair weather friends, only interested when things are good and you're out having a good time, don't want to know when it requires any giving from them.

You've outgrown them, it happens. Stick with the mature and decent friends you mentioned x

lady_fuschia

Agreed- I think you just have to (silently) take the moral high ground with people like this. Its not as if you're missing out by not peeing your money down a pub toilet after all.
Allow yourself a smug smile and a bit of a daydream about the day they're moaning about never being able to get out of debt and your minus-figure days are long gone. Perhaps you can echo this guys words back to him then, and see how he reacts?

Broken_hearted

I think there may be a touch of jealousy. You are in control and they still need to live on their credit cards.

spud30

True friends would understand Lazy love (hope the second job is going OK by the way) and would support your efforts to improve your situation.

If he would rather see his wages dripping off a wall every night, then it's up to him.

You can always come here for a moan but don't let em get to you

lazy&indebt

Lady fushia, that's a good idea!
It's just strange how a bunch of people all in their early twenties can be so different!
The way I see it, if I carry on working my backside off and spending next to nothing for just a couple of years - I'll be debt free and hopefully have a deposit for a house. Then hopefully (if I'm sensible!) i'll be set for life and these 'mates' will be struggling to find somewhere they can afford to rent!
Thanks you lot - knew you'd cheer me up!

lazy&indebt

spud30 wrote:

True friends would understand Lazy love (hope the second job is going OK by the way) and would support your efforts to improve your situation.

If he would rather see his wages dripping off a wall every night, then it's up to him.

You can always come here for a moan but don't let em get to you

Cheers Spud! New job is going well thank you did my first couple of shifts on the weekend - tiring but I made a fiver in tips! And all the people are friendly

Molanole

I think you just have to take everything these "mates" say with a pinch of salt, after all, we don't know what their financial situation is and for all we know they may be living off their credit cards and be in as much debt as the next person. Iriahm is right in that when they do have their lightbulb moment you can sit back and relish it as they come to you for advice.

Any true friends will commend you for what you are doing and will be proud of your efforts in making a difference. No real friend would want to see anyone struggling and in financial difficulty so just keep the reactions of those more mature friends in your mind and be proud of yourself.

My OH has a friend who continually tells us that he is skint but spends every night in the pub and blew 200 quid on clothes recently. We do wonder about it but will obviously be supportive if ever he needed advice.

For what it's worth, I think you're doing fab! Well done you

Mola x

lady_fuschia

Its possible that by calling you "boring" they're trying to make themselves feel better about spending that they secretly know is a bad idea - just plain old insecurity. Trying to justify something they know is ill-advised by saying "Well its a good thing because it means I'm not boring." Problem is, being in debt is VERY boring (well boredom interspursed by short periods of blind panic!)