What would you do?

*Louise*

I would always help a family member if I could, in the past to my own detriment. I never learn though, I am too soft. The only family member I wouldn't help is one who got 30k last year, rubbed everyone's nose in it and has since blown the lot on booze and bingo. I'm not THAT soft lol.

I echo what was previously asked - if the father has worked for so long and for so many years, why doesn't he have some sort of nest egg/early retirement plans?

All seems a little vague tbh.

Curious_George_2

this may be an unpopular reply....but,
you say the father worked so hard, 90+ hours a week, away from his family for weeks at a time...

could it be that he son resents this? i dont imagine he had a good image of his father growing up as the man was never there... making money was more important than spending time with his young son?

well now years later the father has no job and he turns up on the sons doorstep...still not bothered about anything but money??
if you think of it that way...im not surprised he got turned away

MrsE_2

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

What an awful thing to say; family resonsibilities work in both directions.

Actually I think they had a fair point, certainly made me think...

misstipsycake

Sunshine12 wrote: »

I would give my last penny to my parents if they needed it. Granted, every situation different but I would do anything, without question, to help any of my direct family whether it be financial or otherwise.

Agree 100%, and we have helped each other out over the years.

paddy's_mum

Harry Chapin's Cat's in the Cradle.

Curious_George_2

paddy's_mum wrote: »

Harry Chapin's Cat's in the Cradle.

exactly... glad im not the only one! lol

GSXRCarlos

My mum and dad have helped me so much with money (only lending, never giving - and i wouldn't have it any other way)

So if they came to me, i'd do what i could, like other have said, family responsibilites work both ways

if we want to go deeper, i think this is why our attitude to old people, and theire welfare is shocking.

Other communities look after their elderly and take them in, we ship ours off to homes!!!

mookiandco

My dad is a millionaire but on paper only. He is abroad at the moment looking after his sick father. He just e-mailed me and asked me to transfer £500 into one of his bank accounts as he has had to prolong his stay due to his dad's illness and he doesnt want to go into his overdraft! I only have £350 in my daughter's savings account and our wages are spent before it even touches our bank accounts. However, I did not hesitate in transferring the money even though I was due to use some of it this month.

If I won the lottery the first thing I would do is pay off my dad's mortgage and share it amongst my family. I could never put a price on the love and support my family have given me and would give them my last penny (actually I just have!) if they needed help.

nzmegs

I lent a substantial amount of money to my Mum when she really needed it. She said she would pay me back, but just couldn't. I was a student at the time and needed it. But I got to thinking about how much she did ofr me and decided to just let it go.
She paid it back in lots of other ways...

Never lend to friends and family with the expectation of getting it back it just creates bad feeling.

Counting_Pennies_2

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

What an awful thing to say; family resonsibilities work in both directions.

It is not an awful thing to say. You cannot inflict yourself as a parent on a child for the rest of their life. It is up to you as a parent to develop a mutual respect between one another in order to stay in touch and have help in the future.

No child should have to be forced to look after a parent, there is no god given right to it.

I learnt this a long time ago, a child is lent to a parent for the first 18 years of their life. What happens after that time is up to the child.

If a good relationship is there between the parents then of course that is wonderful and they will want to care for their parents, but if it isn't a good relationship why the hell should that child then be forced to deal with their parents for the rest of their life. They should be allowed to do with their life as they see fit.