Give pocket money as pay, otherwise you're 'trust fund teaching': blog discussion

bongolo_2

This is a constant battle in my house. I have dd 9 and ds7 and they are both expected to keep their rooms tidy, put dirty clothes in the wash basket and put dirty plates in the dishwasher. I started to offer them 20p for 'jobs' but they took it to the extreme to the point where I was saying 'I'll do it myself because I can't afford to pay you!'

I have just read this thread and started writing out a plan for them but it occurred to me that most things I have to remind them to do, the worst thing being dd wanted a dog and she had to wait to get one on the understanding that she would walk her and clean up after her. We only have a back yard and she does leave the mess cleaning to the last minute and I do end up doing it because I can't keep waking past it,ewww.

So I've just thought of a chart with a traffic light system. If they do the job while it's on green they get 100% of the money, if they do it on amber they get 50% and if it gets to red they still have to do it but get nothing. Do you think this might work?

I'm thinking I'm going to go with 10p per week for each year of age and they are to do what is expected of them for this (what I mentioned before and also 3 specific tasks each), if it's not done (using traffic light system) then they don't get it all. And they will get between 5p and 50p for extra jobs above and beyond.

I think recording in a book is a good idea, I don't always have change and then they get disheartened by this or I forget and they argue with me about what they haven't yet received etc.

Will have a chat with them tonight, no doubt there will be flaws somewhere lol.

Acapella_2

I currently give my two children (11 & 9) weekly pocket money of £3 (11yr old) and £2 (9yr old). This is on the understanding that they have done their required chores. They each have a list of essential chores (Make beds, keep room tidy, leave bathroom tidy after use etc) and extra chores (take dogs out, empty dishwasher, clear garden of dog poo, put recycling out...etc) for which they may get a bonus (if done without nagging). This can lead to complications...how strict to be? Do you pay if you've had to ask? It also leads to them wondering what a job is worth (I NEVER pay if they ask that!). What they can spend it on? How much they can blow on c**p!

I also pay £10 per month each into an account for larger items e.g they have just used £100 each from this fund for surfing lessons on hol.

I pay a further £25 each per month into CTFs but will be transferring these into something that performs better soon.


Overall I am disatisfied with my system. So do you link pocket money to chores or not? How do others save so that their kids understand the value of money?

themull1

I don't give my kids pocket money.

Justamum

themull1 wrote: »

I don't give my kids pocket money.

Neither do I.

gibson123

My daughter is 13 and gets an allowance of £150 per month. before I get shot down in flames, she has to buy EVERYTHING with this, including all her own clothes, bus fares, lunches, music lessons (guitar and keyboard) and other activities such as horse-riding. She has been given an allowance since she was 11 and could get her own cash-line card. She has an excel spreadsheet that she updates with spends. The main difference I find is that when we go shopping, she looks for the cheapest clothes and is not scared of the charity shops. her friends think their parents are mean if they spend less than £60 on trainers and £5 on shampoos, my daughter and i do not argue about money. She is looking for a job at the moment and occasionally gets paid for pet grooming or sitting for friends and family.

themull1

I'm 44 and i don't even have £150 for myself never mind pocket money!!

gibson123

themull1 wrote: »

I'm 44 and i don't even have £150 for myself never mind pocket money!!

Have you ever added it up?

Bus fares
Lunches
Clothes
Toiletries / deodorant/ shampoo etc.
Classes/social/activities
Cosmetics
coffee with friends
hairdresser / hair products
mobile phone costs

themull1

Bus fares - 40, mobile 10, lunches, cup a soup 20, toiletries 5, no classes/social activities, can't afford clothes - i use what i have, cosmetics maybe 2.00, no coffee with friends, mam pays mobile hairdresser, 6.00 every six weeks, mobile 10, ex husband pays. So, no, i don't have £150 a month.

kerri_gt

horsechestnut wrote: »

I think that children should get a small amount of pocket money as being part of the family. And if times are hard then they have to learn that things can be difficult- there is enough about "the credit crunch" on T.V.
Equally, I feel that children should not be paid to do any work at home; it should be done as being part of the family. Everyone pitches in.
This way they do not grow up expecting to get paid for everything that they do and it fosters a good attitude to just getting "stuck-in" and not expecting extra pay or time off in lieu etc. (Makes them more employable because they have a positive attitude)

Exactly how I was brought up -in fact I remember asking to wash the car for money and was told that I could help wash the car but wouldn't be paid for it as the car was for my benefit as well. That also instilled a want to earn extra money independently as well, as soon as I was old enough I got a paper round, follwed by after school jobs etc.

kerri_gt

makeup wrote: »

Both me and my sister were given pocket money in the same way. (I'm now 35 and she is 32).

I think we started off on 20p which was all spent on sweets (and that was when you could still buy 1/2p sweets).

I once spent some of my PM on bubblegum which was strictly forbidden and I was furious that my Dad wouldn't refund me the money on it when he threw it away!!!!!

When I got to about 13 or 14 - I got an allowance which was a monthly amount and that included money for clothes. I think my Mum still bought my uniform and a winter coat but all my other clothes I could buy with this money.

Wow! that is like looking in a mirror - i got given the allowance (£40 a month I believe it was) at that age too. tbh I wasn't that interested in clothes so my mum did still buy me the odd few items. I think most of my money went on music.

I recall going to the sweet shop with my 20p and choosing either sweets or a packet of stickers (which I think were 20p a pack at the time). If i'd been good my dad sometimes treated me to the item I hadn't chosen but only after I'd made my inital choice and paid. tbh I usually chose the stickers as my mum would often eat the sweets i bought :eek: