Brilliant

Cleaver

This article from the Daily Mash sums up in about 250 words the British public's attitude to Labour, politicians and politics in general better than any other article I have ever read. It just captures the public opinion so well. Very, very clever (and very, very funny).

Before reading it I couldn't quite summerise why I hate modern politics so much. And this made me realise what it is: they need to stop just d*cking around with everything.

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/brown-now-dicking-about-with-fish-and-chips-201003042527/

GORDON Brown last night added the size of chip shop chips to his list of things to !!!!!! about with.

As the government's healthy eating experts told chip shops to increase the size of their chips by 32.7%, across the county 58 million people said 'oh for the love of f*cking Christ' in perfect unison.

A spokesman for the Food Standards Agency said chips 32.7% bigger than average have less saturated fat, can form part of a balanced diet and blah, blah, f*cking blah, his whiny little voice piercing the stillness like a red hot needle of unbelievably annoying dickishness.

Looking all serious, he added: "Myeh, myeh, myeh, myeh, myeh, myeh, myeh, myeh, myeh, myeh, myeh, myeh, myeh."

Helen Archer, a mother of two who has voted Labour since 1997 and enjoys a deep fried cod at the weekend, said: "I'm sorry Gordon, I just can't do this any more."

And Charlie Reeves, a chip eater from Stevenage, said: "What are you doing? Seriously, what do you think you're doing?"

"I've had a hard day at work and I am just trying to have a bag of chips, you utter f*cking pr*ck."

He added: "I'm telling you right now - f*ck the deficit, the environment, Afghanistan and the NHS. I will vote for whichever politician says this exact sentence - 'Chip shops can serve chips in whatever size they want'.
"I'm so tired."

Meanwhile, in a small cafe in Doncaster, van driver Martin Bishop placed his knife and fork gently next to his plate of haddock and chips, dragged his hands wearily down his face and added: "What? What the f*ck is it now?

"Oh Jesus Christ, can I just have my dinner? I'm begging you. Can I just. Please. Have. My f*cking. Dinner?"

Jonbvn

The DM is my first port of call every morning. The only honest news source!

Mr.Brown_4

I've thanked you so I don't seem too churlish. And I do occasionally like the Daily Mash - my favourite being the giant rat one of course. But I find them less funny, because it's feels formulaic. Bit like private Eye, where most of the stories can have the odd name changed, and off we go again with a 'new' article. Basically the same 'joke'.

Maybe this is a bit rich coming from me...

Cleaver

Mr.Brown wrote: »

I've thanked you so I don't seem too churlish. And I do occasionally like the Daily Mash - my favourite being the giant rat one of course. But I find them less funny, because it's feels formulaic. Bit like private Eye, where most of the stories can have the odd name changed, and off we go again with a 'new' article. Basically the same 'joke'.

Maybe this is a bit rich coming from me...

I know what you mean. And for that reason I do sit through articles and no even raise a smile. But every week or so they seem to come up with something, like this one, that I think is really spot on.

I think more than the writing and the humour, I kinda admire the way they often seem to really pick an angle to a story which sums up what you were subconsiously thinking about an issue, but perhaps hadn't realised. Clever.

markharding557

sorry can't see what's funny

Cleaver

markharding557 wrote: »

sorry can't see what's funny

Nearly every word is. Try reading it again.

Do you enjoy BBC1 sh*te-fest 'My Family' with Robert Lindsay?

carolt

I love the Daily Mash. Bit hit-and-miss, as the subjects they poke fun aren't always subjects I cared about in the first place anyway.

But I do love the totally OTT humour.

Great lines like:

"Looking all serious, he added: "Myeh, myeh, myeh, myeh, myeh, myeh, myeh, myeh, myeh, myeh, myeh, myeh, myeh."" :rotfl:

Quite Simpsons-esque in its hunour (only with more rude words).

I'm wondering what my favourite Daily Mash article was?

Maybe the one about the French - that was hilarious.

silvercar

Anyone read newsbiscuit?

http://www.newsbiscuit.com/

Snooze

Mr.Brown wrote: »

I've thanked you so I don't seem too churlish. And I do occasionally like the Daily Mash - my favourite being the giant rat one of course. But I find them less funny, because it's feels formulaic. Bit like private Eye, where most of the stories can have the odd name changed, and off we go again with a 'new' article. Basically the same 'joke'.

Maybe this is a bit rich coming from me...

Agree totally. I can find something to joke about in most things but the Daily Mash, News Biscuit etc just don't 'do' it for me. They all try way too hard to be funny and they end up not being. Personally I didn't even raise a smile at the article linked. Sorry to p!ss on your bonfire Cleaver.

Californication

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/horrible-dragon-threatens-council-worker-fantasy-land-201003012514/

was good too

--C

markharding557

Cleaver wrote: »

Nearly every word is. Try reading it again.

Do you enjoy BBC1 sh*te-fest 'My Family' with Robert Lindsay?

I don't find that funny either