MSE Parents Club Part 11

elle_gee

:bdaycake: _party_ Happy 1st birthday to AF's LO! _party_ :bdaycake:

weezl74

good morning

here's a little piccie of fergie and kester together, as requested:





Happy birthday V and very well done to AF for being her kind brave resourceful mummy for a whole year

My midwife debrief went really well, I'm so impressed that they offer this, Kath the midwife was so amazingly humble, asking us if there was anything we felt she should have done differently.

She also wanted to explain a couple of her clinical decisions to us so that we didn't take away a wrong idea.

I was very glad of her explanations because they helped me to know what had worried her and what she was going to do, and why they had moved me around as much as they had.

It felt very respectful for her to say that.

Also lots of the images that I'd been seeing played back now made sense, syringes being filled, surgical kit out, the need to make my pushing more effective, pronto! Now made much more sense and I don't think I will remember these events in any bad way now.

I'm aware as I write that that I feel VERY lucky, and really gutted that such a good idea as a debrief wasn't offered to a lot of my friends on here, especially as you needed it much more because your events were much, much worse.
I suppose I still wanted to tell you about it though, because sometimes it can help to think, 'well obviously I'm going to feel traumatised because no-one did that for me, and it would have put all that to rest if they had!'. and then you might feel that it's really legitimate to feel that way.

I hope that makes sense.

redmel1621

Morning Weezl - I see you are up at a reasonable hour;)

Beautiful piccie:D
I am so glad the debrief helped and you feel a lot happier with how the whole experience went. I asked before but you may have missed the post, are you still happy/with your decision to home-birth and if/when more children are planned, would you choose home-birth again?

Thankfully I managed a bit more sleep last night so am feeling slightly brighter this morning.

Mel x

Becles

awwww - that is a gorgeous picture Weezl

aless02

weezl, u seem to have the gift of producing beautiful children!

weezl74

emlou2009 wrote: »

Seth toddled all alone and I cried he went from the armchair on one side of the room to the sofa on the other, a good few steps, and its the first time he did it without one of us holding him to start off he is most pleased with himself!

Awww emlou! Yay for sethie walking :T:T:T:T:T he's such a clever boy, and I really liked seeing the birthday pics of him

redmel1621 wrote: »

Beautiful piccie:D
I am so glad the debrief helped and you feel a lot happier with how the whole experience went. I asked before but you may have missed the post, are you still happy/with your decision to home-birth and if/when more children are planned, would you choose home-birth again?

Hi Mel, I hope you got some sleep?

Is DH still in your bad books?

Yes, I am still very happy with the decision to give birth at home, and would definitely choose to again.

I'm guessing that yes and yes probably isn't the most helpful answer though, so I'll try and say why too!

With the speed of this labour I don't think we'd have made it anywhere with enough time for things not to become medicalised unnecessarily.

My established labour was approx 1 hr 15, with a 40 min pushing stage (because I was waiting for the second on call MW) my BP was quite high and Kester's cord was wrapped around his chest, so his heart was dipping in an odd pattern.

Kath having met us before (she delivered fergie too, first time in her career she has delivered both the babies to one couple ) and been with us from 11pm was less worried about this speedy presentation, but if we had turned up at 4cms with fetal distress I think we'd have had to go to theatre. I get highs in my blood pressure when worried, and I think going in would have made this look worse.

I think I'm a very mind over matter sort of person, and also quite sensitive and anxious. So for me, if I was in a hospital and frightening things happened I'd be more likely to interpret them in a worried way and make things worse for myself. In my own home, I manage to comfort myself somehow and it makes things go away... There's a dialogue between panicked weezl and normal weezl which reassures me, does that make sense? At one point when I heard kester's heart slow, I thought, 'he might die and I might die!' and then the next thing I saw was the cupboard where my stockpile of lovely bargain red skinned potatoes lives. And then I thought 'don't be silly weezl, this isn't a room where people die, it is the room where your potatoes live!'

next reason: My DH's personality type. As susan has also said about her DH, mine is a very lovely man who is non-confrontational and who is respectful of authority. In a hospital, he would defer to midwives and doctors, even though he would want to be my advocate and actually knows a great deal about health care. In our own house he quietly but surely asserts his right to look after me, and also to think of creative solutions for things. Example: the Midwives wanted to get me out of the water, and began to lift me. DH: (gently but firmly) 'No, I want you (to first on MW) to draw up that syringe of Peth, and I want you (2nd on MW) right there with it by her thigh as soon as I hand her to you!' :T:T:T

rapid return to normality: Fergie goes to bed at 7, I give him his night night kisses in between contractions. He wakes at 7, comes downstairs held by granny and I'm in the kitchen having just had a nice bath.:D All very normal.

Only one medical emergency would be handled differently/be a horrible outcome if at home vs consultant care, which is cord prolapse. If this were to happen we'd be stuffed if we had been at 2 out of the three local hospitals too as there is no consultant cover there either. I'd still have had to transfer with blue lights. And my house is nearer the consultant-led unit than the other 2 hospitals and 4 mins from the ambulance station .

If I thought I was at risk of cord prolapse I wouldn't book a home birth, but K was firmly engaged at 35 weeks with a very normal HB so I knew the chances of him popping back up and his cord coming down, and then being wedged back in again by his head were incredibly remote.

I'm a wimp about pain. Yep, I know this sounds odd when given as a HB reason, but hear me out! I have entonox, because it's there and I have Peth because I can. If I were in hospital, I think I'd ask for an epidural, because I could. But I think I'd ask without REALLY needing to and perhaps trigger unnecessary interventions.

And also a million and one silly reasons: hospitals smell of savlon and have blood on the walls (well ours did when I looked round) my house is pretty and smells of hyacinths :rotfl:When I go to the loo in labour it's on my old familiar nice warm loo seat with the looroll I buy, it's comforting I can see the daffs I planted out of my window. It just doesn't feel like a place where bad things will happen to me. And lo and behold, because therefore I'm better at not panicking, they don't.

But this is just me, many other people make right, good choices to labour in a hospital. But for me, I feel this is/was the right choice and would be again, as long as I remained low risk.

Hope all that helps

Love weezl xxx

money_maker_3

Morning
Weez; that photo is so utterly adorable !!! I LOVE IT

Well I have to get a shower, pack my toothbrush and toothpaste and make up and then have some lunch and leave just after 2pm, and spend as much time with the kids as I can, although Jas has decided that she will see me later and is playing hte computer and Dylan has fallen asleep !! The cheek of it lol

Hope everyone is feeling well this morning xx

weezl74

money_maker wrote: »

Morning
Weez; that photo is so utterly adorable !!! I LOVE IT

Well I have to get a shower, pack my toothbrush and toothpaste and make up and then have some lunch and leave just after 2pm, and spend as much time with the kids as I can, although Jas has decided that she will see me later and is playing hte computer and Dylan has fallen asleep !! The cheek of it lol

Hope everyone is feeling well this morning xx

Oh mm! Gutted! I really hope Jas and Dylan manage to max their mummy time soon

We'll miss you while you're away or do you have a sexy phone you can catch up with us on

money_maker_3

Yeah, have my blackberry but its hard to read on !!
Jas was crying last night when I was packing my bag, but then I told her I would bring her home something and she stopped hugged me and said goodbye !!! I was like ''Im not going till tomorrow !!! '' lol Kids

You lot are only allowed to talk 2 pages per day till Thursday so I can catch up properly !!

Riht am off for my shower, might get on later but if not BYE have a nice week xx

Glamazon

weezl - glad you have been reassured.
That picture is gorgeous!

MM - hope this week goes quick for you.

I have a stupid pop up on my lappy which keeps saying I have viruses and trojan horses and stuff but it's just a bid to get me to sign up to the XP antivirus stuff. I have McAfee which I am scanning now but nothing showed up in basic scan. AGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH