Off incapacity and onto jobseekers but getting ill again

jonty1970

As the title says - I was on incapacity benefit for nearly 2 years, due to a breakdown and agoraphobia and depression.
I had an interview with a DWP doctor in Manchester and was taken off IB and told to claim jobseekers allowance as a single parent, which I did
I really tried to get better. I felt that, seeing as though I was taken off IB, it might be a kick up the bum to make a fresh start and try and get a job.
I stopped taking my anti depressants.
Now, I feel everything is too much for me and I can't cope. I can't remeber things and am getting in a mess with bills and household jobs.

I don't know wether to claim IB (now ESA) again.
I do feel the doctor led me to answer how he wanted. I was crying and told him I hated being like this and wanted to work and it would help me get better.
I was supposed to be getting a lift from my sister on the day, but she couldn't come at the last minute, so I got the bus there and she met me after the appointment.
he said "Well you can use public transport" and I said yes.
I also told him I had recently had a panic attack where I thought I was going to die in the street and had to ring for my sis to come and get me.

I don't know what to do. I want to find a job, but just feel useless and I can't cope with home life really, so don't know how I would manage my kids and home and work.

I also don't want to tell my doctor I want to just go to sleep and not wake up, as I am scared my kids will be taken off me. how do you admit how bad you feel as I don't want people to think I am a bad mother.

healy

jonty1970 wrote: »

As the title says - I was on incapacity benefit for nearly 2 years, due to a breakdown and agoraphobia and depression.
I had an interview with a DWP doctor in Manchester and was taken off IB and told to claim jobseekers allowance as a single parent, which I did
I really tried to get better. I felt that, seeing as though I was taken off IB, it might be a kick up the bum to make a fresh start and try and get a job.
I stopped taking my anti depressants.
Now, I feel everything is too much for me and I can't cope. I can't remeber things and am getting in a mess with bills and household jobs.

I don't know wether to claim IB (now ESA) again.
I do feel the doctor led me to answer how he wanted. I was crying and told him I hated being like this and wanted to work and it would help me get better.
I was supposed to be getting a lift from my sister on the day, but she couldn't come at the last minute, so I got the bus there and she met me after the appointment.
he said "Well you can use public transport" and I said yes.
I also told him I had recently had a panic attack where I thought I was going to die in the street and had to ring for my sis to come and get me.

I don't know what to do. I want to find a job, but just feel useless and I can't cope with home life really, so don't know how I would manage my kids and home and work.

I also don't want to tell my doctor I want to just go to sleep and not wake up, as I am scared my kids will be taken off me. how do you admit how bad you feel as I don't want people to think I am a bad mother.

You can put in a claim for ESA if you feel you cannot cope on JSA.

Details here: http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/DisabledPeople/FinancialSupport/esa/DG_171894

Oldernotwiser

It sounds like it was a bad idea to come off anti depressants just at the time you needed them most. I'd start off by going back to see your doctor to see what s/he thinks about your starting them again.

taxi97w

I can't say much, but what I do feel from your post is that you are a good mother otherwise you wouldn't be worried about being a bad mother. Dwelling on that won't help in any way, and is probably zapping the last of what mental energy you still have left.

jonty1970

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

It sounds like it was a bad idea to come off anti depressants just at the time you needed them most. I'd start off by going back to see your doctor to see what s/he thinks about your starting them again.

I read the letter saying I was well enough for work and being taken off the benefits and I was trying to be positive and look forward to finding a job.
It hasn't worked and I know I shouldn't have come off the pills.I don't want to come across as a scrounger. I want to be better but feel rotten at times.

One day I am up and ok, next day I can feel suicidal and have told my doctor ages ago. I just get pills. I had a short course of counselling but nothing came of that.

jonty1970

thanks everyone

jonty1970

just read this on the link up there
Evidence shows that people are better off in work – not only financially, but in terms of their health and well-being, their self-esteem and the future prospects for themselves and their family.

I want to be like normal people. I was just chucked off one benefit and put on new deal for lone parents.
There is no help for me. I go once a fortnight to sign on and tell them I have looked on the net and in the papers for jobs.
There is nothing I can do. I have only ever been a mum. I have no references from anyone.
I feel useless and the job centre staff do nothing to help.
Plus, there aren't many jobs here or anywhere at the moment.
I can't admit how bad I feel

jonty1970

I'm so sorry. I just sound like I am moaning about everything

Oldernotwiser

jonty1970 wrote: »

I read the letter saying I was well enough for work and being taken off the benefits and I was trying to be positive and look forward to finding a job.
It hasn't worked and I know I shouldn't have come off the pills.I don't want to come across as a scrounger. I want to be better but feel rotten at times.

One day I am up and ok, next day I can feel suicidal and have told my doctor ages ago. I just get pills. I had a short course of counselling but nothing came of that.

But there's nothing wrong with being on anti depressants long term. I've been taking SSRIs on and off for more than 15 years, particularly during difficult times.

I certainly don't think that you're a scrounger but if the pills help you to cope and the doctor wants you to take them then that would be the best thing to do.

jonty1970

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

But there's nothing wrong with being on anti depressants long term. I've been taking SSIs on and off for more than 15 years, particularly during difficult times.

I certainly don't think that you're a scrounger but if the pills help you to cope and the doctor wants you to take them then that would be the best thing to do.

I know I will fell better if I see my GP. I will get there next week. I feel like I should be out working though. Other people cope so why can't I? After being taken off the benefit, I did feel better for a while and got through Christmas and everything is getting on top of me again.

dmg24

If you do not feel confident in telling your GP how you feel, could you write it down and give your GP a letter? You could even show him this thread if easier?

It is true that some people are better off in work, but equally there are times where people need to take time out and focus solely on their personal situation. Hopefully your GP will be able to guide you as to what is best for you.