Money + Family/Freinds = BAD PLAN! Or is it? Let me know please = )

elyk

Money and finances normally comes down to figures. I have in the past argued that it's basically binary no matter how complex... a string of ones and zeros where 1 and zero represent yes and no responses to choices. Obviously this is a simplification to the extreme, but the purpose of the arguement was that it really doesn't have to be complicated.

Family and freinds are human beings and as such very complex. You don't need a background in psychology to appreciate that. Having experienced being financially involved with family and friends in the past. My experience has been fairly negative. I commented on the thread of a young individual who is in a really complex situation at the moment with her family and I want to know more about situations where other people have mixed these up succesfully or not.

Hopefully we will all learn some useful money saving tips as well as get a laugh, gloat or even a place to vent. I have added a polling mechanism to the top of the page so we can indicated using binary 1= good stuff 0 = bad buzz what your experience is.

All the best,

elyk

dipsy

Avoid like the plague.......

onlyroz

I think loaning money to family members can be a minefield - because the person receiving the money probably doesn't see the arrangement as being "official" like they would if they borrowed money from a bank. Therefore, they might think that it's OK to miss the odd payment here and there without really considering the consequences on the person they've borrowed the money from.

I've been loaned money from my mum and I've always paid her back - but my brother borrowed £20K from her in a similar arrangement and will probably never be able to pay it back. Needless to say, mum is a bit miffed, but is not quite sure how to approach getting the money back, considering that my brother is going through a rough time at the moment.

smartpicture

I lent money to a close friend, one of a group of close friends. The agreement was that she would start repaying me once she got a job again. Eventually, someone outside the group told me that she'd been working for months, that all the girls knew about it but had been sworn to secrecy, and he was telling me as he didn't think they were being fair to me.

When I challenged them, the girl I lent money to was very aggressive and said that she wished she'd never borrowed money off me as I felt like her jailer. She said every time she spent excessive money on clothes or joining a new gym, she could see me looking at her funny - I suspect this was based on her feelings of guilt. My other 'friends' were apologetic but said they felt sorry for her and that's why they lied to me. What about their loyalty to me? Their betrayal was what hurt me the most.

I'm not friends with any of those girls any more. Doing a good thing for someone somehow turned me into the villain and showed me a side of people I didn't want to see - and ruined my friendship with all of them. And needless to say, I never saw a penny of the money again.

Indie_Kid

I have lent money to my parents and vice versa. We've never had a problem with getting the money back from each other.

BitterAndTwisted

I lent quite a large sum to a friend who was really up !!!!!!-street without a paddle on the understanding that the money WOULD be paid back but at the time in my mind I wrote it off. Fast-forward nearly six years later to a radical change in my circumstances and I really, really needed to be repaid. It caused no end of trouble and turmoil and I'm sorry I helped her now. She resented me bitterly for asking for it back and it did cause me terrible hostility during the time that it remained unpaid to see her buying designer handbags and going on fancy holidays when she had a substantial debt outstanding. She never paid me back the full amount although she's certain that she did.

I'd give my last fiver to any member of family who deserved it, though. No question. That excludes one of my f e c kless sisters who couldn't be trusted with her own children's piggy-banks, as she has proven more than once.