At the end of my tether

tattoed_bum

Sorry for the long rant but i just dont know what to do anymore .

I got called into the school yesterday as my son had slapped another kid ,now i have apologised to the other mum and child and my son has also apologised .

But my son wont explain to me why he did it ,

He is 7yrs old but is a very big child for his age he is about the size of an 11 yr old so i can imagine that if he hit someone it would really hurt .

I have withdrawn all his toys tv etc but he still wont explain why .

The other mum is sending me text messages now demanding to know why my son did it ,what can i say to her but more apologies .

We have been having problems with the school at the minute as my son has special needs (he is deaf and also partialy sighted )but his teacher refuses to wear his radio aid or let him use his pen to write with ( he cant see gray on white so using a pencil is useless to him ) she also refused the special paper and books that his multi sensory impaired teacher prepared for him ,she said that she has taught children like him before and they never needed special equipment so why should she use it for him as there are far more deserving children in her class needing help .

So having been arguing with his head teacher about this i just feel as though i cant approach her ,she sides with the teacher .

what else can i do ,i want to know why my son has hit out but if he wont tell me .

I just feel so completly useless and dont know where to turn for advice or help

peachyprice

It sounds to me that he could have hit out out of pure frustration, and who could blame him really.

Why does his teacher feel she has the right to refuse to use what's best for him, that is absolutely disgusting, you need to take this further. What does the school SENCO have to say about the teacher depriving him of equipment?

bertiebots

Sounds like frustration tbh . That may explain why he cant explain why he did it, is there a possibility that the boy he slapped was teasing him?....the school sound like they are making things very difficult for your ds. Sorry I cant offer you any advice other than you need to talk to the school about their apparent lack of understanding as to your childs needs.
I think the teachers attitude is appalling and if she refuses to use the methods needed to assist him then maybe a formal complaint to the school is in order?

fantasia322

Definitely sounds like frustration, which is a difficult word for a 7 year old to try and define. I'd try and speak to your head teacher, surely his teacher isnt quialfied to judge your sons individual needs especially if he has been evaluated. The equipment he needs should be part of his school day.

tattoed_bum

We have spoken to both his teacher and the head about it ,the teacher is saying he doesnt need it as he can hear her with his aids in ,
neither I or multisensory impairement or hearing impairment services can get her to understand the the hearing aids are just that an aid and that they will never be able to reproduce his hearing properly .

I go to into the school every day to set up his radio aid as his teacher doesnt have the time to do it ,and i know when it is being used as the battery will come back flat ,But so far this year sine last summer ive only had to charge it about half dozen times .


I can understand a bit that he may be frustrated but the child he hit is a quiet sensitive sole ,
I dont want him to become a bully

emsywoo123

OP, I would be fuming with this teacher, DD is 6 and dyspraxic and has lots of support at her school with equipment.
I can only suggest persistance. Are there any other educational options you can explore?

travelgran

I was involved with SEN services for a long time and this teacher's attitude is totally unacceptable. This special equipment should be written onto his IEP (Individual Education Plan) and its use monitored as part of the review. This applies whether or not he is statemented but if he is statemented the school are failing to make 'adequate provision' for him.
I would try to get the outside agencies formally involved. Put your concerns in writing to the school and appropriate SEN support team and also contact the SEN governor of the school.
You may find the parent support service helpful (they have a slightly different name in each LEA) . They can attend meetings with you and tend to know the right questions to ask!
You might use this incident to ask for a full IEP review with people to support you.

PS - and you shouldn't feel useless! After all it's you who have taken the initiative to post on here for help, so good luck in following through!

RadoJo

I think the issue of the teacher and the issue of the slapping (whilst probably related) are separate and warrant individual attention.

Why is the mother of the other child demanding a reason? Surely when kids fall out, even if it does deteriorate into slapping, expecting a rational explanation is a little over optimistic - he is 7 for heaven's sake! It sounds as though she is adding to the stress, so I would reccommend that you send her a final text saying that you are very sorry about what happened, but your son hasn't given you a reason so you'll both have to chalk it up to experience and hope that it doesn't happen again. Maybe reassure her that your son likes hers (assuming he does!) in case she is worried that there was some underlying reason for it that she doesn't know about - for now I think your son's problems at school should be your priority, so as much as she is concerned, if you can resolve the other issue, it may be that solves the problem of hitting too.

With regards to the school situation - I agree with the advice above in as much as the school should be supporting him and using whatever aids have been identified to help him achieve his best. Keep pursuing the chain of authority until someone will accept responsibility for putting the recommendations you have from your specialist in place - does he have any 1-on-1 time with a support assistant?

SusanC_2

tattoed_bum wrote: »

I got called into the school yesterday as my son had slapped another kid ,now i have apologised to the other mum and child and my son has also apologised .

But my son wont explain to me why he did it ,
...
The other mum is sending me text messages now demanding to know why my son did it ,what can i say to her but more apologies.

If you and your son have both apologised then that should be the end of it if it is a one off incident which is what it sounds like. Whilst it is worth asking if there was a reason in order to address the issue that caused it, there isn't always a specific reason why a child has done something like that. If it is out of something like general frustration then he may not be able to explain/understand it himself.

tattoed_bum wrote: »

We have been having problems with the school at the minute as my son has special needs (he is deaf and also partialy sighted )but his teacher refuses to wear his radio aid or let him use his pen to write with ( he cant see gray on white so using a pencil is useless to him ) she also refused the special paper and books that his multi sensory impaired teacher prepared for him ,she said that she has taught children like him before and they never needed special equipment so why should she use it for him as there are far more deserving children in her class needing help.

This is unacceptable on the teacher's part regardless of whether it is a factor in the incident described. Assuming you have experts (e.g. the multi-sensory teacher and whoever said he needed a radio aid) who say he needs certain things then the teacher is hardly likely to know better than them. I would suggest firstly speaking to other professionals you deal with about possible avenues you can use and secondly approaching the LEA direct. Your son's educational needs are not being met purely because the teacher has decided for whatever reason (she knows better than the experts/she thinks he isn't deserving enough) to withold necessry educational aids. If a child was made to go round wearing cotton wool in their ears or sunglasses indoors to impede their classroom performance, everyone would be up in arms and this is effectively what is being done to your son.

ladybez

Sorry to hear about the problems your ds is having. As other people have suggested, if he is receiving and SENCO support, then speak to the co-ordinator, expressing your concerns at his teacher denying him the equipment he needs and has been provided with. Otherwise, approach the Governing body and local authority, as the school are currently failing your son. Good luck

*Louise*

tattoed_bum wrote: »

We have been having problems with the school at the minute as my son has special needs (he is deaf and also partialy sighted )but his teacher refuses to wear his radio aid or let him use his pen to write with ( he cant see gray on white so using a pencil is useless to him ) she also refused the special paper and books that his multi sensory impaired teacher prepared for him ,she said that she has taught children like him before and they never needed special equipment so why should she use it for him as there are far more deserving children in her class needing help .

EXCUSE ME???

Who does she think she is? That is appalling!! No wonder your child is frustrated and has lashed out.

How much more deserving of help does a child need to be? :mad:


As for the other mother - you have apologised, your son has apologised, that should be the end of it if it doesn't happen again.
(I would text back 'What do you want - blood?...but that wouldn't help:o)

I really hope your son can get the support he needs. Are there any other schools in the area which he would perhaps be more understanding of his needs?