Depression and having a child

j-josie

Hi, I wonder if anyone could recommend any websites dealing with the issue of the risks or advisability of a long term sufferer of depression having a child? (within the context of a stable relationship)

I had a look on the internet and could not find anything that deals with this. There is lots of info on depression while pregnant but I think that is a different issue. My DD looks to the future and cannot see herself having a child - she thinks he/she would either have depression too (and she would hate to pass that on) or that she would not be a competent mother. I really don't know what advice to give her and would love to read up on some medical advice or case studies.

Can anyone help?

lolababy

Hi Mind has the most up to date infornmation and Im sure they will be able to help.

shazrobo

as a mum with depression, it is very hard dealing with the needs of the children, when you get days where you can barely look after yourself. if she does have a child, she will need plenty of support

welshsue

I am a mum of 2 boys and have suffered from depression for many years.
It is very difficult especially when you have really bad days but I am lucky that my husband is my registered carer and is with me 24/7. He does a lot with the boys and around the house for me. I couldn't cope without him.

It is possible to have children whilst suffering with depression but as long as you have good support as someone else said.

metalgal

i have suffered from depression on and off since my teens. Periods of 6 months + of severe depression. I had a baby last august and while i was pregnant i was not depressed at all for the whole nine months. Unfortunately my depression came back after the birth of my dd, but i have found this time i have a lot more support and help from my gp h/v etc. than i did when i was younger.

I didn't let my depression get in the way of having a child, i was actually the opposite and thought that having a child would give me purpose and help with my depression. Although it didn't quite work that way having my dd has gave me a new perspective, although i am going through a stage of horrible depression, i have no thoughts of suicide as i couldn't bear to leave my daughter and she helps give me reason and hope in my darkest hours.

j-josie

Thanks for your replies.
Metalgal, your viewpoint is the one I naturally feel; obviously it is her choice and hers alone, but I just would not like to her make such an important decision without considering both sides.
Given her medical history I would hope that she would be offered lots of support from the outset. As you say, you need a very supportive and patient partner.
I looked on the MIND website but could not find anything specific to this issue.

As I said before, it is only a theoretical dilemna at the moment. DD still at uni and years away from baby making (I hope ). But she has been mentioning this subject to me more and more recently, and while my experience was that having children made me feel complete and somehow I made 'sense' (my place in the world and all that) I don't want to give her a glib response that does not acknowledge her real concerns over her particular medical problems.

I just think that she only sees the negative side and I would like to be able to offer her some positives about the help she could receive or whether a child of hers would necessarily suffer from her particularly bad depression too...

Sigh, life is so complicated sometimes..
Anyway, thanks for your responses. I suppose the best thing is to get her to talk it through with counsellors etc who might have some practical knowledge of this situation.

Oh for the days when the major issue was that she would not respond to her name and insisted we call her George as she was obsessed with the Famous Five books at the time (the dog got renamed Timmy for the duration too!):p