Frightened about my future

mouseann

Have just realised that I haven't really clarified how I managed to get myself into this situation - and thank you all for not judging me!

I fully intended to sell my house and leave the area to move in with my partner when I retired. This seemed a good idea in 2007, when house prices were buoyant and houses actually sold! Not only did house prices crash dramatically - and houses stopped selling - but the said partner dumped me last summer! I did keep my financial situation secret from my partner, but felt somewhat bitter as I considered that I put more money into the relationship than was wise at the time - e.g. food, etc. Too proud to ask for contributions!

So, I did have a long term plan which did not work out! Just sorry and ashamed that it has taken me so long to come to terms with everything.

And the chance of meeting someone else now seems more than remote!

Feel better after the confession, though.

stroppyjock

Hi Ann, just been reading your thread and just wanted to add a little "aside" to procedings.

About 8 years ago my big sis came over for a coffee, which was unusual in itself, and it transpired she had a mountain of debt (about £18000 if I remember), and she had kept it secret from me as she was worried and ashamed of how I would treat her....... In reality I was hiding the fact that after my marriage broke up I was lumped with £42000 debt and felt I couldn't tell her!!!

Family are family and they might have skeletons in their cupboard to!

8 years down the line, after a "trust deed" (Scottish version of an IVA i think) I'm now out the other side and debt free, and believe me I have been in some dark places.

Good luck and focus on the future and being able to enjoy life and being back in control, it will come round... promise

3Dogs

Great to hear that things are at least moving forward a little now - though I do hop you enjoyed your few days with your friend - never forget that normal life must go on - debt does not have to end that - we all just have to find ways round it sometimes!!

If you do want to at least check out unenforcability, check out never-in-doubts thread on here - I don't know how to put a link in for you but if you go to the forums, to debt free wannabe, and his thread 'unenforability & template letters III' is always on page one so have a read through.

It does pay to check through the forum for tips - the debt free wannabes and debt free diaries contain so much information - you would not be wasting any time reading through them - you may just find the ringht info there to match your problem

Meanwhile - chin up Pet :beer:

mrscmr

get onto ebay... if you want help and havent done it before come to our ebay challenge ... we will help you setup, look at your listings to see if you need to change them or make them better, offer advice on photos, listing prices etc etc.

we are really nice and dont mind if you ask lots of questions! we all started somewhere!
xx

renting out your room sounds good idea. could you rent other things, like a parking space or garage? this is popular in commuter areas.

what about foreign students who need a base?

Nargleblast

Hello Mouseann, glad to hear you are getting down to practicalities re your debt situation. I bet you felt a bit better after talking to CCCS. You mention that you think an IVA might be a possibility, but are worried if your creditors will accept one? The answer to that is don't worry. A company setting up an IVA for you will do everything in their power to sell it to the creditors as a viable proposition, after all, if the creditors reject it then the company will have done a load of work for nothing! And they would not suggest one to you unless they thought it was feasible. Obviously no-one can guarantee that all the creditors would accept the IVA, but usually those that quibble about it end up accepting it with some renegotiation between them and the IVA company as regards the company's charges, and the date the creditors could start to see money coming in. In the meantime, have your talk with Payplan then decide who to go with. Whatever you do, you will have a strict budget to follow, but once things are up and running you will no longer fear the postman bringing nasty letters. You will also start learning how to live well on a reduced income by following advice on some of the forums - try the Old Style Moneysaving forum for example.

mouseann

Thanks Nargieblast and others,

I have just had a long conversation with Payplan - they were very nice and non-judgmental, despite the fact I nearly crashed the system with so many cards!

It is reassuring to have these comments on an IVA. I will see what Payplan come up with - they are going to number crunch the data and get back to me. It is looking as if the IVA is the fall-back option, so it was good to hear the comments about it being accepted.

I really think I must have the biggest debt ever - I just can't believe how the card people just kept increasing my credit limits! Admittedly, I didn't have to max them out - but it was when they racked up the interest it really hurt! Which is especially annoying, given how low interest rates have been over the last or so.

Happy Easter to everyone.

happyhaddock_2

Hi Mouseann, really pleased to hear Payplan are trying to sort out a remedy for you, and, following your earlier thread, please don't think you have to justify your spending. We've all been there and done that and I don't think anyone realises that you're sinking until it's too late . I can't remember if you've said already but have you actually spoken to any of your creditors to explain the position, I've been really surprised and astounded by the response I've had from mine, they've been very understanding:). Keep plugging away Mouseann now that you've faced up to it all hopefully you'll find the right path :A

savingwannabe

Dear ann

Please dont be so hard on yourself. It is natural to be worried and unsure of yourself. I actually think you are incredibly brave. You are dealing with a big problem and dealing with it in an effective thoughtful way. We are proud of you. Believe in yourself, we have all learnt so much from this site, i can imagine how many people you will be able to help in short space of time so please be happy with yourself as you are doing well.

Big hugs :j

robyn-francis

This is my first reply and sorry if someone has mentioned this.

I work for a reposession company (don't hate me, it pays the debt!) and alot of morgage companys are offering AVS (Assisted Volantary Sale) Schemes.

Basicaly, your lender will give your property to one of their asset managers and help you sell it, they will sell it on your behlaf. You pay no upfornt cost for Home Information Pack or any agency costs and your bank will most likly freeze your interst whilst on the scheme. As long as you listen to what they have to say about your property. BELEIVE THEM. They will make nothing from you if they house is sold quickly but underpriced, its worth thier time waiting for a good offer and will rarley accept anything if it leves you oweing them alot of money.

They only down side to this is that if selling your house only covers your morgage repayments and no other secured loans then it can get messy.

Thes scheme does not show up on your credit history, it is nothing like reposession. It can not even be mentioned to thoes that are trying to buy your house.

Good luck
Robyn x

hypno06

Right.......first of all, stop beating yourself up about being in this situation. That sort of thing will get you nowhere - you can't look back, only forward.

You haven't got the biggest amount of unsecured debt on these boards - there aren't many of us who had/have debt over £100k but there are a few. Mine was over £100k on cards at rates similar to yours. That was on top of a mortgage of £175k, and an income that can only be described as "average".

My debt is now down to £18k. Granted, I am now in a job that pays me well, but in the meantime, my husband left, so I am on one salary, rather than the two I was used to. Life rarely turns out the way we expect - but on these boards no one is going to say that you have been daft/stupid/irresponsible, because we are all those things collectively!

What IS clear, is that with no income, except a pension, and little chance of earning £4k per month, regardless of how many things you ebay, how many surveys you do, how many hours invigilating you work.....there is not going to be enough to service the debt and to live.

SO my big suggestion, and one that will help you feel as though you are taking control, is to go to the National debtline website and find their template letters.

They will tell you how to work out what your "surplus" is, how to pro-rata it, and what to offer each of your creditors.

Then, print off the letters, and send them with a £1 token payment - yes, just £1 to each of them - to the people you owe money to, saying "this is the situation I am in, I want to sort it out, heres £1 to show that I am not ignoring things".

This will be a big step in sorting things out. It will buy you a bit of time to work out whether a DMP/IVA/Bankruptcy is for you. It will also stop you having to find all the money you are currently robbing peter to pay paul each day.

OK, the phone calls will start, as they start to ask for more, but you are perfectly entitled to ask for them to communicate only in writing. If need be, change your number, or put your phone on silent until they get the message.

It is not going to be easy - but then you are not niaive enough to suspect that will be the case. But to be honest, how much more difficult can it get - I'll bet you are not exactly getting a good night's sleep right now, so you might as well make a start and at least you have taken control of the situation, which is a very powerful feeling.

As time goes on, the options will become much clearer to you - at the moment, though, there is a lot to take in, and all the time you are trying to think about where to go next, you are still paying out money that you cannot afford.

Stick with these boards- they have been a lifeline to me, and to many others.

And YES, do the ebay, do the mystery shopping, do the daily scratchcards - goodness knows, I do all of those things as part of my daily routine now, but see them as being there to fund the extras - keeping the car on the road, having a much needed trip out one day, doing work to the house to make it saleable etc - they really can make a big difference.

Visit National debtline and get those letters printed off. You will feel quite empowered, I reckon, by doing so, and you can continue talking to CCCS or Payplan at the same time.

Good luck