£100k debt in 7 years

yorkshire-lad

i cant really offer any advice, i do not know much about mortgages etc, but i didnt want to read and run.

by the sounds of things, you need to take a step out of the circle and look at things from a wider view, your husband,debts etc.
people on here really know their stuff, especially washer (after reading many of their posts), you should really take on board their advice.

i think you should speak to CCCS, but i think you should seek help with your marriage too ( i am not judging you) but from what i have read,it seems that there are a few issues.

good luck with things and keep us updated:D

*its really hard to put into words what you want to say*:(

diane105

Hi Poppy didn't want to readand run. Please take the advice given and don't remortgage. We did this 5 years ago with £40000 of debt and now we have run up another £20000. I really would recommend speaking to CAB or CCCS they are really helpful and helped us see the light at the end of the tunnel. We were acting like big kids when we have a 3 year old daughter and realised we weren't providing for her now and her future like she deserved. Good luck and I hope things turn out well for you

SouthernBellE*

planning_ahead wrote: »

Hi Poppy

It doesn't really matter - but I was just wondering who inherited the house....you or your husband? This question really doesn't have any bearing on what you do or where you go from here....I am just being pure nosey.

I do think that if you inherited the house, you should think about the wishes of the person who left it to you....they would have wanted you to have it and therefore another reason to think about not taking your name off the deeds.

Hi Poppy,

I agree with everyone who has advised against remortgaging & especially with the quoted post.

If you are willing to continue to remortgage to keep your husband happy everytime money gets tight, where will you be when there is no equity left to borrow against, will he leave you then?

Being married means sharing the resposibilty for the debts and working together for a solution, you're both struggling, the worry or burden or blame shouldn't belong to just 1 of you.

I don't mean to preach & I certainly don't judge but would plead with you to think very carefully and longterm before taking the easy option.

With the unhappiness in your marriage, it seems you're putting your thumb over a leak when the dam looks ready to burst.

Good luck to you Poppy, I hope things work out for you.

katsu

Poppy,

Good luck with whatever you decide. Now for my 2p worth...

Get your bank statements for several months (and perhaps your friend Button to help you?) and then fill out the SOA template using what it tells you. So, for example, add up all the grocery spends in a month, then add up the six months worth (or 3 months if that is easier) then divide by six (or three/whatever) so you get a more accurate grocery figure. The reason I am suggesting you do this is that you don't seem to be able to work out where the debt came from and until you know what you spent too much money on, you can't reduce it properly and so you risk getting into more debt.

Then you can post it here and get some advice on how to reduce your spends.

Then get a notebook (and a wallet for receipts) so you can write down all your spends (even 50p for a twix) for the future, so you can work out how you are doing against your new SOA, to help keep you from more debt.

We would really encourage you not to remortgage as many people remortgage and continue to spend too much money, so they do not break out of the debt cycle. If you can end up with an SOA that does not increase your debt (maybe even lets you overpay your mortgage) then whilst it is not the best thing to do, it may make it safer for you to take the remortgage. Only you can decide if this is best for your marriage.

Re the deeds issue - I don't understand about this to be honest. I suggest you go to see citizens advice or perhaps if you have legal advice through your house insurance or anything like a trade union, then you contact them for advice. Better safe than sorry and you can take the advice in confidence, you don't need to tell your OH.

You can make the decision to work out what is going on, and become better with your money. It will be a great example for your kids. Go for it.