No kids @ wedding - poem/rhyme?

alenax

I don't know any poems, sorry! But to be honest I would want to make sure people got the hint as opposed to just not writing names (some might think that it's only because kids wouldn't bother to read it anyway).

You could put something like,
"To help us have an easy day,
Please leave your kids at home to play"

Argh crap at poems

hayleythedaisy

I wouldn't use a poem, if you do want to put it on the invites I'd put something that is much clearer but polite so there could be no confusion.

Carmen_Queasy

Ugh, poems are tacky and more than a bit patronising IMHO, so they'll probably annoy people even more than just putting it bluntly. Inviting only the adults should be enough, but maybe adding something like "Please note that this is an over-18's only event." would be okay if you think people won't take the hint.

jockettuk

if its only the daytime and speeches why not tell those who have kids that .. all the ceremonial stuff will bore them stupid but they can if they want fetch them and bring them to the evening do were there will be a party atmoshphere that way they cant say you didnt invite them but you wanted your special moments captured without screaming bored kids in the background

daska

I'm never offended if an invitation arrives that explains that the ceremony or reception or both aren't suitable for kids because of the venue not being child friendly or warning that it's going to be a long ceremony (one very high church one was nearly 2 hours which was TBH very tedious) and there not being anywhere to withdraw if children get bored.

Personally I loved having children at my wedding but it was a very relaxed affair and I just don't 'do' wedding videos (my own or others) but a friend's wedding video was ruined by a parent who remained in the church with a screaming baby throughout the ceremony. She was even quietly asked by an usher if she wouldn't mind taking the child outside until it calmed down but refused !!!!!!!

Anyway, my point is that people always respond better to a practical reason rather than an anti-kids reason. We put a note on our invite that we had to know exact numbers because there was a strict upper limit for the ceremony imposed by the venue and the restaurant was pre-booked.

Bennifred

It may be better to go along the lines of only adults being invited rather than explicitly saying no children - semantics, i know, but harder to take offence at!:cool:

dizziblonde

Just put a line about "unfortunately owing to numbers/nature of the venue/whatever - we regret we are unable to invite children" or similar. Those who are going to take offence will take offence and go through the full repertoire of emotional blackmail/insults/armtwisting whatever you do unfortunately because apparently your wishes for a function you're paying for are completely overridden by the wrath of someone who wants to bring the centre of the entire universe along regardless.

I wish I'd stated on mine specifically and explicitly (and be damned with the political fallout to be honest - rather than saying it personally, and addressing invites to the adults only) since I've got a family member who's completely ridden roughshod over my wishes and will be bringing her baby - and it's caused me so much upset and distress that I'm actually now dreading my wedding day and have been in floods of tears about it (which is pretty sad considering I've got 3 weeks to go and am now looking at my own effing wedding as a day to be endured rather than something special). People who know me know my reasons for feeling this strongly about it (connected with very very very painful feelings from my own infertility) and before anyone goes down the route of accusing me of being a rabid childhater - that's why I wanted it the way I did, but this idiot "mother" who thinks the world owes her a living has destroyed our special day completely. Speak up, phrase it politely but firmly - you'll inevitably have to ride out a hellstorm (there are people on here who'll make you feel like some kind of Hitler-esque monster and not listen to the reason behind your wishes) - but it's better than ending up feeling like I do at the moment.

I'm more excited about getting a new dishwasher than my own wedding because of parents riding roughshod over the wishes of others right now.

frannyann

dizziblonde wrote: »

Just put a line about "unfortunately owing to numbers/nature of the venue/whatever - we regret we are unable to invite children" or similar. Those who are going to take offence will take offence and go through the full repertoire of emotional blackmail/insults/armtwisting whatever you do unfortunately because apparently your wishes for a function you're paying for are completely overridden by the wrath of someone who wants to bring the centre of the entire universe along regardless.

I wish I'd stated on mine specifically and explicitly (and be damned with the political fallout to be honest - rather than saying it personally, and addressing invites to the adults only) since I've got a family member who's completely ridden roughshod over my wishes and will be bringing her baby - and it's caused me so much upset and distress that I'm actually now dreading my wedding day and have been in floods of tears about it (which is pretty sad considering I've got 3 weeks to go and am now looking at my own effing wedding as a day to be endured rather than something special). People who know me know my reasons for feeling this strongly about it (connected with very very very painful feelings from my own infertility) and before anyone goes down the route of accusing me of being a rabid childhater - that's why I wanted it the way I did, but this idiot "mother" who thinks the world owes her a living has destroyed our special day completely. Speak up, phrase it politely but firmly - you'll inevitably have to ride out a hellstorm (there are people on here who'll make you feel like some kind of Hitler-esque monster and not listen to the reason behind your wishes) - but it's better than ending up feeling like I do at the moment.

I'm more excited about getting a new dishwasher than my own wedding because of parents riding roughshod over the wishes of others right now.

Have a bl00dy big hug from me!
Nothing worse than a mother who thinks her little 'angel' is the 'be-all-and-end-all of the world and stuff everyone else' You don't need to explain anything, if you want a child-free wedding then thats what you have! xx

nickyhutch

dizziblonde wrote: »

Just put a line about "unfortunately owing to numbers/nature of the venue/whatever - we regret we are unable to invite children" or similar. Those who are going to take offence will take offence and go through the full repertoire of emotional blackmail/insults/armtwisting whatever you do unfortunately because apparently your wishes for a function you're paying for are completely overridden by the wrath of someone who wants to bring the centre of the entire universe along regardless.

I wish I'd stated on mine specifically and explicitly (and be damned with the political fallout to be honest - rather than saying it personally, and addressing invites to the adults only) since I've got a family member who's completely ridden roughshod over my wishes and will be bringing her baby - and it's caused me so much upset and distress that I'm actually now dreading my wedding day and have been in floods of tears about it (which is pretty sad considering I've got 3 weeks to go and am now looking at my own effing wedding as a day to be endured rather than something special). People who know me know my reasons for feeling this strongly about it (connected with very very very painful feelings from my own infertility) and before anyone goes down the route of accusing me of being a rabid childhater - that's why I wanted it the way I did, but this idiot "mother" who thinks the world owes her a living has destroyed our special day completely. Speak up, phrase it politely but firmly - you'll inevitably have to ride out a hellstorm (there are people on here who'll make you feel like some kind of Hitler-esque monster and not listen to the reason behind your wishes) - but it's better than ending up feeling like I do at the moment.

I'm more excited about getting a new dishwasher than my own wedding because of parents riding roughshod over the wishes of others right now.

Dizzi for goodness sake, you HAVE to tell her she either comes without the baby or not at all! I can see just from reading your post how painful you're finding the whole thing - PLEASE don't let someone so insensitive and thick-skinned ruin your day. It's your wedding - you have the final say on what you do and don't want.

talulahbeige_2

mrsW2b wrote: »

yeah, maybe I won't bother as we have asked everyone who's coming and apart from the one couple mentioned, everyone else was quite happy to have a day off!

Please don't bank on everyone with children having heard you though.

When we decided to get married (18mths ago!) we started making our views known to all our friends who had children. I even had a list of people we would be inviting who had children and crossed them off when I had told them that children weren't invited. We always made sure that over the past 18mths whenever friends talked about our wedding we brought the no children point up again.

Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago, a freind told me they had booked a family room at the hotel so that they would have sapce for the kids!
When I said "but no children are invited" she denied all knowledge of ever being told.

Que a difficult conversation about keeping the kids out of the way at the hotel as they didnt want to leave the kids at home and stress about what do we do if the kids put in an appearance and how awful i would feel having to explain to the other guests if this did happen!