How do you know what you want?

Taypier

Thanks everyone, I've only been to a handful of weddings myself so I literally have no clue - I suppose that's a good thing as it means we'll do it our way? People are confusing me at the minute, telling us what we MUST have but it all sounds wrong. For example: I don't want a big bridal dress and I know this will upset some people but I'm just not a girly girl! I know what I don't want but I've no idea what I do want either!

When I get chance I'll make lists (I love em!) and make google my best friend. What's a mood board? Is it pics of things we like? Do I need to have a theme/colour?! I'm worried about all the attention too, it's already getting to me, lots of people want to make a big fuss but I just want to hide away! lol

Birdie85

I'd recommend buying Wedding Ideas magazine, it's small and cheap (for a wedding mag anyway, I saw one yesterday for £7.99!) and they show pictures of real weddings and have lots of hints and ideas. I'd read it cover to cover, get an idea of any themes you like then rip them out and stick the pictures in a scrapbook or on a mood borad, which is basically a big bit of board with pictures and ribbons and scraps of fabric etc stuck on. It helps you develop the 'mood' that you wish to create on your day. I have a scrapbook with sections, one for figures and lists, one for the wedding, one for dresses and hairstyles, one for the reception party. Easier to add to and cart around than a ruddy great bit bit of cardboard!

You seem to be halfway there with what you want, just get your ideas written down and it will help you shortlist venues. Go to local wedding fairs, most venues hold them around this time of year, they're free to get in and if you're lucky you can eat lots of cake under the pretence of 'testing'!

pretzelnut

Knowing what you dont want is just as good as knowing what you do want.

To make a mood board i cut out all the images in magazines, printed of all the pictures that i liked on the web and google and stuck them all on some card well i used some wallpaper as that was the only thing big enough. I then realised that i had unconsiuosly found a theme, as many of the dresses were very similar, most of the colours weref ushia piink with some other vibrant colours, and so on and so on.

The only things you really need to get married are a bride, groom, 2 witness, a vicar/registrar and anything else is personal choice.

I love lists to, i even write lists for lists i need to write, how sad is that.

alenax

For ideas, I find this website amazing:
http://www.projectwedding.com/

Just click on "photos" and there's galleries with billions of photos of everything from dresses to receptions (more decor than the actual place) to hair and make-up I've been spending hours at a time on it!

And congratulations!

tabskitten

THAT is exactly how i was. Everyone keeps saying to
me- ''but haven't you dreamt of how your big day should be''......
And the answer is NO and i don't care either.
all that is important to me is marrying the man i love and that will happen regardless of flowers and fuss!!
Be careful- do not let others convince you that you need to spend a loas of money on flowers and fuss if it is not important to you. Your wedding day can be as much or as little as you want and either way what will make it yours is the person you are marrying and you - no one else matters.
I am getting wed in Aug in a reg office in the Lake district, we are only having parents and siblings and staying down there that eve. Then we are having a massive knees up for the world and his wife at the weekend after.
Fun, relaxed and no stress are much more important to me than flowers, frills and place cards!!

floss2

Why not just say "Oh we want to enjoy being engaged for a while, so haven't set a date or made any firm plans yet".....it worked for us!

Horace

Taypier wrote: »

Thanks everyone, I've only been to a handful of weddings myself so I literally have no clue - I suppose that's a good thing as it means we'll do it our way? People are confusing me at the minute, telling us what we MUST have but it all sounds wrong. For example: I don't want a big bridal dress and I know this will upset some people but I'm just not a girly girl! I know what I don't want but I've no idea what I do want either!

When I get chance I'll make lists (I love em!) and make google my best friend. What's a mood board? Is it pics of things we like? Do I need to have a theme/colour?! I'm worried about all the attention too, it's already getting to me, lots of people want to make a big fuss but I just want to hide away! lol

a mood board is a board with pics of things that you like, colours that you like, fabrics that you like.

On your actual wedding day being the centre of attention wont bother you too much as you will have other things to think about. Remember that it is your and OH's day and no-one elses so you have what you want and not what people say you must have.

I know that when I got married (yes, a long time ago now but I was young and headstrong) I dreaded the thought of wearing a meringue type dress and went for a dress that I could wear more than once - over the years I have worn it about 70 to 80 times for posh dinners and the like.

You have plenty of time..so enjoy the engagement phase and get the odd magazine, visit venues etc.

Taypier

Thanks again! I think I'll soon be a regular here I think I'm getting used to being engaged now, it's sinking in a little! I'm still more terrified than excited but at least we're both in agreement to wait and save/do it our way rather than rush. Alot of people seem to think an engagement = wedding NOW or pregnancy! I must admit it's quite fun winding people up

Thanks everyone for your advice x

Always_Harassed

tabskitten wrote: »

THAT is exactly how i was. Everyone keeps saying to
me- ''but haven't you dreamt of how your big day should be''......
And the answer is NO and i don't care either.
all that is important to me is marrying the man i love and that will happen regardless of flowers and fuss!!
Be careful- do not let others convince you that you need to spend a loas of money on flowers and fuss if it is not important to you. Your wedding day can be as much or as little as you want and either way what will make it yours is the person you are marrying and you - no one else matters.
I am getting wed in Aug in a reg office in the Lake district, we are only having parents and siblings and staying down there that eve. Then we are having a massive knees up for the world and his wife at the weekend after.
Fun, relaxed and no stress are much more important to me than flowers, frills and place cards!!

Well said. If more people did there own thing there wouldn't be all this ridiculous must haves. Do things your own way as you will never please everybody. Make sure that you please you and your OH. No mater how wonderful the wedding is it is only one day and not worth getting massively in debt to try and please everyone else.

shellsuit

The only 2 things I dreamed about when I was younger, was a horse and carriage and a gospel choir ~ I wouldn't have a horse and carriage now, but I sooooo would have a gospel choir if we were getting married somewhere we could have one and we could afford it!