How do you know what you want?

Taypier

Hi, we got engaged last saturday, very exciting but I wasn't expecting it at all :j The thing is we have NO idea about how we want our big day. All we know so far is what we don't want! People keep asking me questions and I feel a little silly saying "We haven't decided yet..." when really we just have no clue! I was never a little girl who dreamed of getting married so I've missed out on those years thinking about my wedding day! So far we know we want to get married in 2-3 years time, theres no rush, we want it relaxed with people we love there and not long lost great aunts etc, we want a small ceromony - non religious and a bigger party after. Other than that we're stuck!

Any ideas on how to get started? How did you know what you wanted?

Dizzie77

Awww - congratulations on your engagement..!! Even better that it was unexpected...!!

The best thing to do is to have a little brainstorming session....have a list of things that you definitely DON'T want and work from there....
E.g. Do you want a church service? If so, which church?
When do you want to get married? (i.e. time of year)
How big do you want the wedding to be?

Don't feel silly about telling people that you don't know yet - you've only just got engaged, you need time to get used to that bit first...!!

Keep us updated and we'll help as much as we can.

Horace

Taypier wrote: »

Hi, we got engaged last saturday, very exciting but I wasn't expecting it at all :j The thing is we have NO idea about how we want our big day. All we know so far is what we don't want! People keep asking me questions and I feel a little silly saying "We haven't decided yet..." when really we just have no clue! I was never a little girl who dreamed of getting married so I've missed out on those years thinking about my wedding day! So far we know we want to get married in 2-3 years time, theres no rush, we want it relaxed with people we love there and not long lost great aunts etc, we want a small ceromony - non religious and a bigger party after. Other than that we're stuck!

Any ideas on how to get started? How did you know what you wanted?

To a certain extent you have decided on what you want e.g. wait a few years, small non-religious ceremony with huge party afterwards.

Get ideas - look at a few wedding magazines to get ideas of themes, colours that you like whether you want a huge white dress or something else. Take your time. Start looking for venues - visit a few.

Do a storyboard type thing of colours that you like, themes etc - cut these out of magazines, then you can whittle them down to one thing that you both agree on.

Do you want to get married in the UK or abroad?

shellsuit

Budget is the most important thing ~ work out how much you can afford to spend.

Where to get married. (UK, abroad, church, reg office, hotel etc)

When to get married. (Season, month, date?)

Where and what you want to eat and drink. (view venues/do you want sit down meal/buffet/canapes/paid bar/cash bar etc)

What you and the wedding party are going to wear.

What rings you want.

Everything else is just bells and whistles! (Such as flowers, cars, decor etc)


Have fun planning!

shellsuit

Oh I forgot to say ~ Congratulations to you both on your engagement!! xx

pretzelnut

visit venues, its abit like buying a house, when you see a few you will soon know what you do and dont like about a venue, when you have visited several you can right a pro/con list, then look for a vnue that fits your criteria.

With regards to everythng else - its all about seeing it and wanting it. Buy a wedding magazine and have a flick through, see if anthing pops out at you.

BUT as your not wanting to get married for a few yers i would suggest on setting a budget first and get saving, as 2-3 years is a very long time to change your mind on everything.

I set a date and we had 7 months to get married, i have changed the whole theme twice in the space of 5 weeks.

frannyann

Congratulations!

Or you could do what we did, walk past somewhere, go 'Oh thats nice! Shall we get married there?' then book it

*shuts door on way out of MSE*

Alyssa_C_2

Massive congratulations! I'd pitch in with ideas, but the helpful ladies here seem to have done it all already : )
I'm two months into the engagement and things are so far falling nicely into place. As everyone has said, do a budget first. Then look at venues you can afford and go from there. You could prob have quite a big budget as you are very relaxed about the time scale (I'm too impatient lol)
Have fun planning!

xxx

Alyssa_C_2

Oh, by the way Horace said about a mood board, this is a must!

Gemmzie

Was just about to ask a very similar question. I have a few preferences, OH is leaving it all to me but I'm terrible at making decisions.

buzby_boy

Congratulations

i would agree with what shell has said, work out your budget and then go from there