buying house, unmarried

smartpicture

Deleted_User wrote: »

We do have a clause written in somewhere that if we seperate what will happen and how much both of us get. But because even in conflict we would both remain fair to each other/children, i can't see this becoming a problem. We would both naturally want to do right by each other.

I'm sorry, but you are living in cloud cuckoo land!

Both of you would act fairly - now. You both want to do right by each other - now. But if you reached the stage where you were no longer in love and were going to split up, think again. Especially if one of you had cheated and/or had a new partner putting pressure on what's 'fair'.

People you think you know inside out can become very selfish and think very differently once they are picturing a new life for themselves without you. Even genuinely good people who want to be fair can have widely differing ideas on what consitutes fair once they're not clouded by being in love. You only have to look on these boards to see thousands of examples of this. Most of these people are not evil conniving selfish people, they are normal people who find that their priorities change once they separate from their partner, and someone who you've decided you can longer live with them is not necessarily going to come very high up on that list of priorities.

littlemissmoney

If he goes to work and you look after your children, you will both be "paying" 50/50 off the mortgage. If you didn't look after your children, he wouldn't be able to earn as much or would be paying out for childcare. You are both contributing to the mortgage in your own way.

Therefore if you sell in the future, 40% of the house value (£100K / £250K) shoud be yours and any equity/debt above and beyond that should be split 50/50.

Hermia

smartpicture wrote: »

I'm sorry, but you are living in cloud cuckoo land!

Both of you would act fairly - now. You both want to do right by each other - now. But if you reached the stage where you were no longer in love and were going to split up, think again. Especially if one of you had cheated and/or had a new partner putting pressure on what's 'fair'.

People you think you know inside out can become very selfish and think very differently once they are picturing a new life for themselves without you. Even genuinely good people who want to be fair can have widely differing ideas on what consitutes fair once they're not clouded by being in love. You only have to look on these boards to see thousands of examples of this. Most of these people are not evil conniving selfish people, they are normal people who find that their priorities change once they separate from their partner, and someone who you've decided you can longer live with them is not necessarily going to come very high up on that list of priorities.

I totally agree with this. When the love dies the nicest person can become a nightmare, especially where money is involved. I have three friends who had seemingly strong loving marriages to nice partners, but those partners totally tried to screw them when it died. My aunt's husband tried to take her house away from her even though he had not contributed any money to it in their marriage plus she had paid for him to go back to university. He left her after two years, but said he wanted half of everything, but he was in every other way a thoroughly nice bloke.

I think you should really get professional advice about this. It's a win-win situation. If you stay with this guy none of it will matter and if you break up it will make the ending easier.

Mojisola

As well as sorting out how the house is to be owned, get wills written. If you die, who will inherit your share of the house - your OH or your child?

mrcow

Get yourselves some wills drawn up.

Mirror wills that will leave the property & everything to each other.

Do it now - don't put it off.

Person_one

I'm not married to my partner, we have a deed of trust (fairly cheap, solicitor can do it) that says that if we split up and sell he will get back the 25 k deposit he put in and the rest of the equity will be split 50/50 as we are contributing equally to the relationship/household.

If I were you I'd do exactly the same. Protect your 100K investment and split the rest of the equity 50/50. You might not be making monetary contributions to the mortgage right now, but you are contributing by caring for your child who would have to be looked after by someone and you're the only one who won't charge!

Just because roles within a relationship aren't identical doesn't mean they aren't of equal value.

pusscat

The simplest solution to your problem is to buy the house as "tennants in common".

This means that rather than youy both jointly owning 100% of the house, you actually specify a percentage that you each own on the land registry forms.

How you decide to split things will be a process of negotiation between you - you both need to feel comfortable with the situation.

Get your solicitor to explain it to you and then you can make a decision.

One thing many people forget to plan for, is what happens if the value of the house goes down? Is it fair that you keep your £100k, if the value of the house has fallen by 20% - you need to work this one out with each other!

Puss
xx

taylorjane

just wanted to thank you all for your helpful replies.
Its so refreshing to find a forum where people are helpful and genuine.
thankyou for raising the point that even though i am not earning as much my contribution to the household is equal, I had not thought of it like that and you are right. i feel a bit more ready to raise the subject with partner now, thanks everyone!

Gemsgalore

taylorjane wrote: »

just wanted to thank you all for your helpful replies.
Its so refreshing to find a forum where people are helpful and genuine.
thankyou for raising the point that even though i am not earning as much my contribution to the household is equal, I had not thought of it like that and you are right. i feel a bit more ready to raise the subject with partner now, thanks everyone!

I haven't been here long Jane but just wanted to agree that folks on here seem fantastic and the advice you have had is second to none. Good luck and happy house hunting

cakey

Hi,
just wanted to let you know i did exactly the same thing. the solicitor shoud draw up a Tenancy in Common, if they house sells, you will get what you put in plus an extra % share. i split with my partner who i owned the house with and we both got what was in the agreement when we sold.