My daughter has got us into debt!

cp2010

Hi, I'm new to forum. Hope I have posted in the correct thread.
I came home at end of January after living in Dubai for one year, my husband is still working over there, we are divorcing after I found out he had yet another affair, but that's another story.
I came back & had to move in with my 30 year old daughter as our own house had been badly flooded, so I'm trying to sort that out, floors & ceilings have to be replaced etc, so it will take a while to get in order before I can put it up for sale.
My husband who moved to Dubai in November 2008, had organised that our daughter look after our financial affairs whilst we were away. A normal, loving, family girl, she did have some money problems in her early twenties, ie, took out loans, electric bill problems, but she assured us that all was well & that she could be trusted to look after things for us. We were in constant communication with her throughout the year, we paid her car loan for looking after things, she came over on holiday in May 2009, at no expense to her.
So just over a week ago I asked to see our "business" stuff, I would take over now that I was back home, only to uncover a complete mess.
In my name she has managed to use my Marks & Spencer credit card & owes £5500.
Taken out a £3000 loan in my name.
Owes £300 to another credit card company, in my name.
Owes £302 to Next, taken out in my name.
She took out a £3000 loan in her dad's name.
She has also taken about £13000 in cash from us.
The cash taken should have paid for a business loan & I have had to borrow £5500 from a relative, to keep the business running.
The knock on effect of her taking the cash has meant our cash flow to pay for Tax & now tax fines, accountant fees etc is causing problems. She had been asked to put our "books" into the accountant at end of December, she told us she had, but that wasn't true.
Neither my husband or I have ever had money management problems, so not sure how to deal with this.
If I go to police I think the debts & our names would be cleared, but our daughter would be in an even worse position. We would lose the cash she has taken also.
I think the only other way is for her to pay me a monthly amount & "I take the blame" & pay off the loans etc, realistically I'll be lucky if she can pay £200 a month, so it will be a long while before we get our cash back.
I am not working at the moment, my husband is sending me a monthly amount until I find work & pays all our bills. Also with me taking on the debt I assume my name will be on a blacklist for 6 years.
Is there any way these loans can be transferred over to her name or can anyone offer any advice on how to deal with this. We live in Scotland re. law issues. TIA.

Tixy

Hi

That must have been very hard for you to find out. Have you spoken to her about ir and what has she said?
Does she have any assets you can insist that she sells to start paying the money back (the car for example).

As you say I think there are 2 choices - report her to the police, although this may only help accounts taken out by her in your names - with regards to the existing accounts you have given her access to them so would probably not stand you well in terms of the creditors.

There is no such thing as a credit blacklist but you need to get copies of your credit reports to see how much damage has been done. Has she been keeping up with minimum payments on these accounts? if so whilst you will have a lot of outstanding credit she may not actually have damaged your credit rating too much.

You can't have the debts transferred to her. You could see if she could get a personal loan and then repay the cash to you that way but it sounds like she may struggle to get such a loan anyway.

What has she done with the £13k in cash?

immoral_angeluk

She'd be in a worse financial position? With the greatest respect she lost the privilidge of you protecting her as soon as she defrauded you of just over £25,000.

hillcats

Tough call !
what exactly has she spent this money on would be my first question, closely followed by why didn't she come to you if she was having financial trouble rather than do this, as all she has done regardless of which way you go - is the loss of trust now.

Moneytroubles_2

This must be quite upsetting to find out, I dont mean to be blunt here but I would go to the police, I know she is your daughter and its probably easier said than done but I know if I was in your daughters position then my parents would not hesitate to contact the police.

However the choice is completely yours, does your daughter show any remorse for what has happened?

I really hope you get this sorted xx

RAS

I think that you may have to report her; this might encourage the Revenue to be more reasonable in their handling of your tax affairs.

Horace

Its horrid to discover that your daughter is a thief but you do need to go to the police as she has taken out loans, cards etc in your name and her dad's name..she must have forged both your signatures to do this. Yes it is a hard thing to do but the right thing too as you don't want your credit rating to be shot to pieces or take the rap for something you knew nothing about.

It is a harsh thing to say but she needs to learn a harsh lesson - crime doesnt pay and stealing from anybody even your parents is a huge no no.

vaporate

Sorry but your daughter needs a good beating.

Greedy cow.

pure_dead_dopey

I think you need to find out the whys of all of this before you make harsh and definite decisions. Have you any idea why she took all this money? if she has a good reason,then you may have to think again, but she is your daughter so you have to give her the chance to explain. If she has no explanation, then I think you have to go to the police, bacause it is theft but I understand how you feel, it would kill me if our son or daughter did this to us without good reason. I hope for your sake, she has a good excuse and you can deal accordingly.

DKLS

Has she offered any explanation for her fraud?

I would be onto the police pronto, daughter or no daughter.

richardvc

I personally believe that you must take the action that gets you out of this mess asap and with as little collateral damage as possible.

If that means reporting her to the Police then so be it - she needs to be taught a hard lesson.

Maybe show her what we all think on MSE - she deserves the shame.

Forgive my lack of sympathy as it must be a very difficult position to be in but we have enough problems getting ripped off by big business let alone our 'nearest & dearest'.