Why do people get married?

margaretclare

kittiej wrote: »

I did once know of a man who had a stomach ulcer which burst. The wife ( soon to be ex) turned up as did the current girlfriend and as soon as the wife said "I don't want her here" That was it for GF even tho they lived together.

My now DH moved in with me in November 1997 and in 1999, while his divorce was still going through but not yet final, he became seriously ill following a knee operation. I was allowed to put myself down as next-of-kin for the hospital, but I have since heard that that isn't always the case with some hospitals. I informed all his close relatives of the situation, but was gobsmacked when his brother told me 'but you're not his wife, Margaret!' I retorted 'He wouldn't want his wife turning up at his bedside!'

We got married in January 2002. Why? Well, I am old enough to believe that marriage still matters. And it had to be a church wedding, which was not allowed in some churches because (a) his 2 divorces and (b) he wasn't baptised. The local Methodist Church didn't take that view and we were married there.

There are a lot of legal reasons, still, why marriage matters. That wasn't the reason. He didn't think, at first, that marriage was important, but he came round to the view given time. What coloured his thinking was - obviously - the 2 divorces. As for the like of Cheryl Cole, they get a lot of publicity but they don't live in the same world as the rest of us. I don't use her, or anyone like her, as a role model - heaven forbid.

joolesw1972

Can I add to mine that we think the same and she is my hero!
When I asked her last night to name her reasons, she had three and they were exactly the same as mine!
I've had a tough time at work the past few weeks, imposible deadlines to meet, lots of stress etc, my partner has been amazing, it's the little things like buying me some 1p sweets when she went to the shop, reverse parking my car on our narrow little street coz I was too stressed to get it in the space! And warming my socks on the radiator because my feet were cold!!!
Those little things make a difference and that's why I love her, wouldn't change her for the world and want her to be mine always!

Alyssa_C_2

Because even when he's driving me crazy he takes time to make me smile, make me laugh at myself when I'm stressed and gives me cuddles when I'm sad. The little things count! Being Mrs O will be cool I think. We also want to bring up children in the whole traditional thing, married, house, little ones!
Ahhh, all your heartwarming stories have got me all gooey! lol

frannyann

No-one else wanted the b*gger, so thought it best to remove him from the market!

Plus I wanted a party.






No not joking either!
























Am really!

shellsuit

Because we want things for the house and thought we would get married so that everyone else can buy them for us.

AimSay

tartantotty wrote: »

This exact situation happened to me and my H2B. He suffered a severe brain injury, and ended up in ITU in a coma and had to undergo emergency neurosurgery. Initially I was involved in discussions, but this quickly tailed off, and I was finding out about meetings with consultants after they had happened. This is despite the fact that me and H2B (although we werent engaged at the time) were practically living together, and I was the only person to visit him every single day when he was in hospital. There was an issue about his neuro-rehab and his parents wanted to move him 500 miles away, although the hospital disagreed, so that didnt happen. He wasnt in a fit state to recognise what was happening and I still think he doesnt really understand how his family made me feel. Although this was 2.5 years ago, and he is doing fantastically well (his consultant told him he was a medical miracle!), it still really hurts me to the core that his family did not take my thoughts and feelings into account, and I don't think I will ever be able to truely forgive them for that.

I am getting married first and formostly to make a firm commitment to my H2B that I love him more than life, and I want to spend the rest of my life with him, but the NOK etc stuff is also a part of it too.

OMG Tartantotty I could of written that post! My H2B had his SBI on 29/10/2008. His parents were disgusting to me and I was pregnant at the time. I got pushed out and they tried to move him 200 miles away. They took all his bank cars away leaving me and kids with no income. (My money went into anaccount in his name) H2B just cant understand how I felt . I will never forgive them for that.

I am marrying him firstly because it scared the life out of me nearly losing him and I want to show how much we love each other. Secondly the next of kin stuff is so important,

tartantotty

AimSay wrote: »

OMG Tartantotty I could of written that post! My H2B had his SBI on 29/10/2008. His parents were disgusting to me and I was pregnant at the time. I got pushed out and they tried to move him 200 miles away. They took all his bank cars away leaving me and kids with no income. (My money went into anaccount in his name) H2B just cant understand how I felt . I will never forgive them for that.

I am marrying him firstly because it scared the life out of me nearly losing him and I want to show how much we love each other. Secondly the next of kin stuff is so important,

That is even worse than my inlaws to be. How awful for you and your kids.

Going through that must have made a horrific situation even worse.

The feeling I had in my chest and stomach when the neurosurgeon told me my H2B likely wouldnt survive the op, was unreal. It was like someone had ripped out my heart. I honestly think that if he hadn't survived I wouldnt have been able to live without him.

For all people moan about the NHS (and quite rightly so a lot of the time), in H2B's situation I cannot praise the staff highly enough. If it wasn't for the skills of the Neurosurgeon, ITU Consultant and the ITU staff, he wouldn't be here today. (I should also add that all the other staff, from ITU/HDU/Neuro ward and Neuro Rehab were ace as well!)

Boozer

She was pregnant and we needed a UK visa.

plane_boy2000

Just doing it to keep her happy.

We have 4 kids and I love her to bits - I dont think I would cope without her in my life so we are getting married because she's wanted to for the last 10 years we have been together.

pretzelnut

On a more serious note:

When our daughter was born and the registrar went ''oh another illegitamate child'' i was like what are you talking about, when she explained that all children born outside marriage are called illegitamate anf the only way to make them legit ewas to get married and notify the registrar who would then have the register updated.

I now it sounds an odd reason to get married but it is one big reason that jumps to my mind, i dont want my children to be classed as illegitimate.

Theres also the whole right to consent issue, my DF was illl and i soon realised that i didnt have any say in what could, should etc be done it feel to his mum and dad who at the time hated me so wouldn't have aken my feelings or my DF's into account as we have talked long and hard about what the other should do should a certsin situation arise.

DF also exerienced it from the other side when i was ill in hospital having my daughter, all consent went to my mum but she knew exactly what i wanted and wouldnt have gone against that whatever she may have felt.

Having been married before i never took into account the legal ramifications then, now i am wiser and a lot older, so when we talked about getting married the legal side was at the foremost of our minds.

And also cos i cant live with or without him.