Non resident mother, please try not to judge me

Mupette

I think you should go back to the council, its not housing just for you is it, you need to tell them you have 2 daughters who will be staying on and off or full time with you.

maggied_2

Panda - just done some quick sums - say you had the girls more of the time than X did you would get £89 per week plus the child benefit.

Am I right in thinking that the girls have lived full time with him since Nov 2007? Is the plan that the girls now stay with their father permanently?

Does the new girlfriend have any children of her own?

missmontana

If he moves, and takes both the girls with him, will the new gf be looking after them as his mother has done? Or will the mother still be doing this?
If he moves,all his expenses are going to go up as he will have alot more to pay out (maybe its her that has suggested he claim from the csa).
If he moves, you still have parental responsibility, which means a say in their education.
There's a lot of "ifs"!! What if, him and the new gf move in together but it doesn't work out because all of sudden there isn't a live in "nanny" in the shape of grandma... 3 months is a very short time to be with someone and take such a step,especially if he is paying off debts from the marriage.... Gosh, is all very complicated!

Blackpool_Saver

You mentioned your mental health earlier, can you claim DLA or get more points to be housed quicker by the council.

I think you should apply for residence on the grounds that exes circumstances are changing.

13Kent

how does parental responsibility give you a say in the children's education? My OH has had no say in anything, he gets an annual report sent if he is lucky - despite contacting the schools they often don't send one and he has to chase it up, he had no information sent about meetings about secondary schools, no choice in which schools the children went to, and no information about the GCSE courses offered or taken by either child. The PWC has made all the decisions without consulting him. Also when they were in primary school and he went to pick them up one day (with the knowledge of the PWC) they refused to let him take the children despite him having shared custody. They telephoned the PWC to check that she would allow him to take them. He was very upset.

missmontana

13Kent wrote: »

how does parental responsibility give you a say in the children's education? My OH has had no say in anything, he gets an annual report sent if he is lucky - despite contacting the schools they often don't send one and he has to chase it up, he had no information sent about meetings about secondary schools, no choice in which schools the children went to, and no information about the GCSE courses offered or taken by either child. The PWC has made all the decisions without consulting him. Also when they were in primary school and he went to pick them up one day (with the knowledge of the PWC) they refused to let him take the children despite him having shared custody. They telephoned the PWC to check that she would allow him to take them. He was very upset.

What is parental responsibility?
While the law does not define in detail what parental responsibility is, the following list sets out the key roles:
providing a home for the child
having contact with and living with the child
protecting and maintaining the child
disciplining the child
choosing and providing for the child's education
determining the religion of the child
agreeing to the child's medical treatment
naming the child and agreeing to any change of the child's name
accompanying the child outside the UK and agreeing to the child's emigration, should the issue arise
being responsible for the child's property
appointing a guardian for the child, if necessary
allowing confidential information about the child to be disclosed


That's just what the directgov site says, maybe he should write to the head teacher of the school stating he has PR and wants to be more included. At my childs school they can email newsletters and such like, would that be an option?

I have to inform the school office in the morning if anyone other than myself is picking up my child. I guess they can never be too careful! Are his details on the childrens contact sheet that has to be filled in?

daska

13Kent wrote: »

how does parental responsibility give you a say in the children's education? My OH has had no say in anything, he gets an annual report sent if he is lucky - despite contacting the schools they often don't send one and he has to chase it up, he had no information sent about meetings about secondary schools, no choice in which schools the children went to, and no information about the GCSE courses offered or taken by either child. The PWC has made all the decisions without consulting him. Also when they were in primary school and he went to pick them up one day (with the knowledge of the PWC) they refused to let him take the children despite him having shared custody. They telephoned the PWC to check that she would allow him to take them. He was very upset.

If this has been going on for some time and you've already raised the problem with the school then write to the board of governors explaining the problem you're having. You can get the name of the Chair from the Education Office at the local council and write via the school address (but mark it to be opened by the addressee only)

I'm just going through this now for DS1

daska

missmontana wrote: »

That's just what the directgov site says, maybe he should write to the head teacher of the school stating he has PR and wants to be more included. At my childs school they can email newsletters and such like, would that be an option?

I even have an e-mail from the Head Teacher confirming that this will be done but 8 months later... nada, until I finally write to them asking for the address for the Governors and 2 weeks later I get a response - too late, the letter's already gone.

13Kent

We've had similar problems, Daska despite contacting the school several times.

chriszzz

Am sorry posters but male nrps who have been in the same situation as the female nrp have to face what the female nrp is now facing, dont want to sound like i dont feel for the female but males go threw this and no one really cares how he feels when the female takes his children to live in another area with another partner and if he can afford to sort himself a place and furnish it before the females files for csa.