Feeling guilty and sad - can anyone reassure me?

Willow_K

pepe2008 wrote: »

Give me an untidy house and a happy child any day!

Definitely!

Although strangely she does like helping with the hoovering - gawd knows where she gets that from - I hate doing it!:rotfl:

true27

pepe2008 wrote: »

Give me an untidy house and a happy child any day!

Couldn't agree more!

ladybez

If you are only going to be working 3 days a week you will still have 4 so spend with DS and you will find you do make the most of this time together. You said you were trying to introduce him to a bottle. Could I make a suggestion, that you try to express milk for hime to take to nursery then you will still be able to feed him yourself on the days you are there and most importantly last thing at night. Good luck with everything and please keep posting.

indebtinsussex

don't feel guilty at all, I went back to work for financial reasons after 6 months and after settling in ds loves his childcare, he meets a lot of people and does a lot of new things, and the time he does have with me at home is quality time, it is upsetting but you'll get there in the end. good luck x

DeeDeeinDooDoo

Hi IM,

I have been a SAHM and I really think if you have a good job then part time is the best option. It is good for baby to mix with others and for you to have a break from mommydom.

However, I do think that if you want a bit longer at home then it is possible to cut things back to such an extent that you are making up for a part time income minus childcare costs. The cost of going to work can be enormous. It might be worth looking at your sums, take off all the costs of going to work, childcare, birthday collections, clothes, extra car and see what you are really gaining from going back.

irishmist_2

Just wanted to thank everyone so much for writing and being encouraging and sharing their experiences of going to work and having LOs in nursery. I really appreciate it, and pepe and willow, already have the messy house!
Thank you all

morocha

Hi op, do not feel bad . I went back to work when my DD was 7 months old, i worked 2 days a week but not full days. i needed to do that because we were struggling. Dad looked after her then her grandparents ( she love them and have a very strong relationship with them), this is not your choice, it is something you have to do, and i dont know how your LO is, but mine was so demanding that was actually some relief for me to go out and work half a day ( fri and sat.)
I don't work now, she is 2 1/2 but do try to find things to sell on ebay and increase my income.she is the one who asks me about schools and toddlers groups now.. hehehe... but it is a bit too soon for me yet.. she wont go to school till september.
things will get better, and he will enjoy being around other kids.

sweetpeas_2

Hi IrishMist,

Don't feel guilty, I do feel fo ryou and understand how you feel. My DS is 7 and when he was a baby I didn't work until he was about 12-18 months, and even then I only had an evening job at a pub, so he didn't know I was gone.

When DD came along 3 years later, we had moved house (bigger mortgage) and got some heavy debt along the way. When I was 7 months pregnant I cracked a rib and pulled a muscle in my back as I got a hurrendous cough, so decided to start my maternity leave early.. this meant when DD was just 4 months I had to go back to work. I worked 3 days for a local authority, I missed my baby like mad and I spent most of my day there crying- much to the annoyance of my Manager, who incidentally had no children of her own... My Dad used to have the kids at this stage and DS was at school.

Now DD is 4, I look at her and wonder how I could miss all the precious time with her, which I did get to have with her big brother. I always feel guilty about it. My Dad went back to full time work himself when DD was roughly 2, so she spent 2 full days at a day nursery.. this made me feel even worse still as she wasn't even with family anymore

But I can honestly say, that DD is far far more advanced now at the age of 4 then DS ever was. By 3yo she could write her full name and knew her alphabet.. just little things that DS could never do.

And I hope it comforts you to know, that on her first day of nursery at age 3, she was one of the only ones in the whole class not crying and clinging on to Mum. At first I thought- Hmf, great..! But then I realised I was so lucky, she was so excited about her new class and teachers and so comfortable that she just ran in to the room all excited.

You're not the only one that feels guilty about this sort of thing, I was exactly the same when DD was 4mth's. It gets easier I promise.

Chin up x