any advice plzzzzzzzzzz

Gazgandalf

Sally, this is my second attempt, I don't know what key I pressed but lost the lot.

As a foster carer for 15 years many children came into my care who suffered with bed wetting. I had to have those dreadful plastic sheets to protect the mattress and keep things hygienic .

I know you won't want to go into details on here Sally, but may I offer some advice, which you may already be aware of - granny and sucking eggs comes to mind.

You mentioned separation from your husband. Any kind of separation, even if for the child's benefit is painful for a child. We need to view the world from 'table top height' and remember how we felt as kids when things upset us.

Children become traumatised when there are changes in their patterns of 'normal' life. Any change of their hopes and dreams may provoke disturbances beyond their control. This is not an 'attack' on you nor is it something they can normally control.

I found lots of assurance, comfort and security helped. Telling my foster children of the hopes and dreams for the future helped. Letting them know things will get better and planning small trips somewhere - but not on the basis of 'if you don't wet the bed.' Remember, sometimes children have no control of what happens during their sleep.

Stories at bed time and comforting 'sleepy talk' before bed can help. Not allowing anything overly exciting before bed times helps. A last drink of something warm and comforting like hot chocolate after tea and ensuring a trip to the loo before stories will relax any tension. try not to mention bed wetting ortherwise it will be on their minds and feel they have somehow disappointed you if they do.

Even adults will do things out of character when under stress or something is suddenly placed infront of their planned out life, so why not children?

Keeping the home quiet, feeling secure, low 'noise' (not a frenetic home) talking about good times ahead, a willingness to cuddle up when watching TV, eating together are all more valuable than people think. And no matter what age, don't stop showing affection. Kids constantly need to know they are loved - so do adults - but little ones are 'hug-hoovers.'

Ask things like,"If I had a magic wand and I could change anything what would you want?" They may ask for you and your husband to get back together and this is an ideal opportunity to explain how people sometimes stop being friends and cannot live with one another. It's a useful tool for opening conversation and finding out what troubles kids (or even adults)

And lastly Sally - bad things happen to good people. You too may be feeling the effects of the separation. So be patient and kind with yourself.

I hope some of what I have said is useful and I wish you every success - however long it takes before this works. It's a better regime than filling your kids with chemicals and drugs and the effects will last longer. We live in a society where showing children affection constantly is under-rated. Let me know if any of this helps.

sallywoo

Just to let you know

Husband to son to clinic yesterday and was given another 2 plastic sheets and a hole load of bumff that has been tried before and was also told there was nothing else to try and nothing else they were going to do.

Seperation between me and hubby has been hard on them but all this was happening well before and this is one of the things that have contributed to the seperation.
We have also brought it up with social services and they have also told us they will not help.

So we are on our own.

so really do need advice on where and what to do PS I live in scotland.

CUTESMILE

My son had the nasal spray which worked but he's now 13 and has started doing it several times a month and doctor has prescribed him desmopresin tablets which he has had before and works but saying that it doesnt get rid of the underlying problem that causes it.

It is a worry that they can get reliant on it.

I had this problem myself as a child and the horrible medicine then was disgusting something called tofrenal (not sure how you spell it and when a bit older I went onto to the tablet form). Mine was due to stress from parents seperating and was my sons problem.

I get asked when does he have a last drink and tell him to go to toilet which I do and previously used to get him up out of bed to go to toilet which he walked like a mummy (visions of a scene out of scoobydoo comes to mind lol)

It is hard when you have to wash everything including the duvet and getting it dry especially when it happens a few times during the week.