Bridesmaids/Step Families arghhh

mrcow

Mrs_Moore_To_Be wrote: »

I see your point and in some ways there is no argument there. However I have a cousin and SIL that are like best friends and 3 best friends who I class as family. I dont see why my SS should be picked over them just to keep the peace?

Because she's your sister.

We don't all get on with our brothers and sisters but sometimes it's best to take the higher ground on certain things.

It's not as if you have to chose her "over" anyone else. If you're having five bridesmaids, then another one isn't going to make the slightest bit of difference.

It's the gracious thing to do.

You never know, she may even turn you down......but it's nice to be asked.

Mrs_Moore_To_Be

mrcow wrote: »

Because she's your sister.

We don't all get on with our brothers and sisters but sometimes it's best to take the higher ground on certain things.

It's not as if you have to chose her "over" anyone else. If you're having five bridesmaids, then another one isn't going to make the slightest bit of difference.

It's the gracious thing to do.

You never know, she may even turn you down......but it's nice to be asked.

She is my step sister, not my sister.


I would be choosing her 'over' others. Im only having 3 bridesmaids and a flower girl. I was saying there are at least 5 I would love to ask, however budget restrictions mean I cant have all those that I would like.

I guess we will have to agree to dis-agree, thanks for the imput though Mr Cow.

Stephb1986_2

mrcow wrote: »

Because she's your sister.

We don't all get on with our brothers and sisters but sometimes it's best to take the higher ground on certain things.

It's not as if you have to chose her "over" anyone else. If you're having five bridesmaids, then another one isn't going to make the slightest bit of difference.

It's the gracious thing to do.

You never know, she may even turn you down......but it's nice to be asked.

It's a step sister so not even blood related. Perhaps you have no experience of having a step family but it's not all chocolate and roses.

shellsuit

You've already chosen who you want, so if your SS or someone else asks, just tell them you're all sorted now!

I wouldn't want a member of my family who I couldn't stand in the wedding party.

I wouldn't want to look at their mugs all over my wedding photos in years to come.

Plus, I wouldn't ask her anyway, even if you could afford to have her, because you would only be having her because you had your arm twisted to, not because you want to.

I'd hate to think someone had asked something of me, because it was either expected, or out of pity.

Mrs_Moore_To_Be

Stephb1986 wrote: »

It's a step sister so not even blood related. Perhaps you have no experience of having a step family but it's not all chocolate and roses.

Oh how right you are!! x:beer:

mrcow

Stephb1986 wrote: »

It's a step sister so not even blood related. Perhaps you have no experience of having a step family but it's not all chocolate and roses.

I have a very large family.

And no - it's not all chocolate and roses - but it is a lot of give and take.

Sometimes you have to look at the bigger picture in order to do the right thing.

Stephb1986_2

But if you despise someone would you invited them to be part of your wedding party? I have a step sister she's a complete cow if I saw her again it would be too soon. Am I going to have her as part of my wedding party? Am I hell I would rather pull my pubic hair out one by one with a blunt pair of tweezers than have her any where near my wedding.

You might have a very large family but do you have step brothers and sisters? It really does matter.

mrcow

Stephb1986 wrote: »

But if you despise someone would you invited them to be part of your wedding party? I have a step sister she's a complete cow if I saw her again it would be too soon. Am I going to have her as part of my wedding party? Am I hell I would rather pull my pubic hair out one by one with a blunt pair of tweezers than have her any where near my wedding.

You might have a very large family but do you have step brothers and sisters? It really does matter.

I don't recall the OP saying that they "despised" their step sister in the way that you do yours. As you said yourself, you can't take your own situation and apply it to someone else's.

I've seen SO many wedding fluff up over the years becuase of disagreements between family members and half the time, it's quite ridiculous. Whatever the OP chooses, they need to be careful that they are not left looking the bad guys.

As I said earlier, weddings are a time for building bridges. All I was hoping to offer was a alternative point of view for the OP.

Mrs_Moore_To_Be

mrcow wrote: »

I don't recall the OP saying that they "despised" their step sister in the way that you do yours. As you said yourself, you can't take your own situation and apply it to someone else's.

I've seen SO many wedding fluff up over the years becuase of disagreements between family members and half the time, it's quite ridiculous. Whatever the OP chooses, they need to be careful that they are not left looking the bad guys.

As I said earlier, weddings are a time for building bridges. All I was hoping to offer was a alternative point of view for the OP.

I didnt say that I despised her - but its a fair description. I can honestly say that if I didnt see her again I wouldnt be sad at all. Thats why its such an arkward descision. If we got on okay ish then I can see your point of just biting my tongue and asking her.

I just dont see why I should ask her out of 'the right thing' when surely the 'right thing' is to do what me and my fiance want and makes us happy?

Fen1

Apologies for getting the wrong end of the stick.

From another angle - how does SS feel about you? She may not like you very much either, so problem solved..........:j At 27, she must be old enough to realize that the two of you don't have a working relationship.

It may be a good idea to get her involved in something else as other posters have suggested. Perhaps you could ask her to bring a partner, perhaps someone special? THat will also give her the incentive to be in the congregation with him, rather than the new chappie being stuck on his tod all day.